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DH, depression and puppy

(6 Posts)
lilygirl81 Wed 04-Nov-15 15:09:32

Sorry if this ends up being long.

When I met DH I had a dog who was the centre of my world. DH fell in love with her and we were a strong little family unit. By the time he met her she was fully trained and a very placid creature. He had also had the same breed, so very used to their nature.

At the start of the year, her congenital heart problem rapidly deteriorated over 3 days and we had to have her pts as she was in misery.

We grieved, and still do, and discussed a new dog as we both felt the absence of a furbaby. Given our experience, something with a strong health background was important, but it had to be a small dog as I am disabled so couldn't give a bigger dog the exercise it would need if DH was away.

In the end, I suggested a chihuahua, and we had dog sat one and got on very well with it. DH was keen, so I researched and found a lovely, well respected breeder. We picked up our pup at the start of June.

House training has been a struggle, as he hates to poop outside. Last night, DH took him for about 4 walks, no poops. I was in bed, and DH dumped the dog on the bed and made a comment about my dog. When I said he is our dog, DH said that I found the breed, I chose the sex, I picked the breeder, I got the money, so he was definitely my dog.

DH is struggling badly with depression, but I am so concerned. I said this morning that he needs to think about how he feels, as if he really doesn't like the dog we will have to think about rehoming him. I hope we don't, as I love him a huge amount.

Does anyone have any experience like this that worked out? Or any suggestions on getting the dog to poop? DH behaves like he loves the dog, cuddles, games, training etc, but I'm so scared I'll have to give my wee boy up to help DH.

Dieu Wed 04-Nov-15 19:22:43

I am a new puppy owner ... and I also strongly suspect that I have depression, though I have yet to see the GP about this. My dog is also a small breed (often harder to housetrain then their larger counterparts), and a male, and it's also taking him a long time to toilet train. I have to work very hard not to let this get me down too much, but on my bad days I could quite easily give him and my home up (I've gone off it a bit, due to the peeing everywhere!). I love my wee pup to bits, but am well aware that I tend to catastrophise things when feeling low. Sorry, I'm not being every helpful!
Have you considered getting a behaviourist in?

lilygirl81 Wed 04-Nov-15 20:40:40

I'm so glad we are not alone!

He is getting neutered on Friday, so shall see how he gets on after that, but definitely would consider a behaviourist.

DH was much better when I got home, and has said that he is very fond of the puppy, so feeling much more relieved.

Dieu Wed 04-Nov-15 22:47:29

Good! He does sound a bit like me; when the going's good, getting a pup was the best idea ever. When it's tits up, it was the worst! Hopefully when he's toilet trained it'll level out a bit smile

antimatter Thu 05-Nov-15 18:57:36

It takes ages to housertain small dogs. Some take a year or longer.

SweetLathyrus Thu 05-Nov-15 19:17:16

First, just a thought on the training. When you or DH talk him out for a walk, do you go home as soon as he's pooped? He may be trying to tell you that the best reward for toileting outside, would be some extra playtime outside right now, when he goes, his fun ends, could it be that!

Is he going in a regular place? It may need extra cleaning with a pet disinfectant that doesn't contain ammonia.

Or, his system just isn't mature enough yet. If you crate him, does he soil that? If not, you may have to make more use of it u till you get the opportunity to reward him for doing it in the right place.

As for depression, I bought my pup as part of my recovery, and he has been at least as important as ADs and CBT. But, if your DH hasn't bonded with the dog, I can see how frustrating and never ending the challenges might seem.

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