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Challenging Animal Abuse

(24 Posts)

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YourKidsYourRulesHunXxx Wed 21-Oct-15 09:46:06

Basically, a couple of years ago my parents bought a dog. I wasn't living at home, but I was very uncomfortable with the idea, especially as the last dog they had lived outside chained up to a log in the garage and received very little attention. I also really hated the idea because I knew for a fact that my parents would not be taking the dog for walks (she's some sort of status symbol/ accessory for my Mum.) The only time she got attention was when me and my siblings took her for exercise. She wasn't allowed in the house because 'she was born outside and she wasn't an indoor dog.' At least, that was my Mum's excuse when I asked why she couldn't be inside with the rest of us.

Anyway, the dog that they have now is currently living most of the day in a cage in my brother's bedroom (she is a Rottweiler, which makes it even worse). Whenever I've tried to ask why this is happening when I visit, my Mum says it is to keep my toddler son safe, and the rest of the time she is free to roam.

My younger sibling is currently visiting, and I asked how the dog is doing, and he told me that she is mostly in the cage. He says its because she is out of control and isn't obedient. I'm not surprised- she was never trained in the slightest. The worst part of it is that she is left alone for long periods of time because everyone works, or is at school.

I'm fucking sick of having this on my shoulders. I've thought about contacting the relevant authorities, or just to let my Mum that this is disgusting and that she needs to do something about it with the suggestion of further action taken otherwise. I know my Mum would go bat-shit crazy either way. She is NEVER wrong. I would just turn a blind eye for the sake of our relationship, but I would be as bad as her if I did. She lies about how good the quality of the dog's life is, so she must know how awful it would sound if she admitted that the dog is holed up everyday.

YourKidsYourRulesHunXxx Wed 21-Oct-15 09:47:51

The part where I say I also really hated the idea because I knew for a fact that my parents would not be taking the dog for walks (she's some sort of status symbol/ accessory for my Mum.) is about their current dog, not the last one. I typed that in the wrong place when I went back to add more info.

SunshineAndShadows Wed 21-Oct-15 09:52:43

Sadly I'm not sure you'd get very far with the RSPCA etc as the dog is fed and watered but it's worth a try

Look on the PDSA website for info on the animal welfare act and the 5 welfare needs which al pet owners are legally obliged to provide. I think unfortunately a firm talk with your mum is the only way.
Poor dog sad

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe Wed 21-Oct-15 09:56:43

I'm not sure the RSPCA would actually do anything, they are notoriously shit, if the dog is being fed and not beaten they probably won't care.

If your Mum keeps lying about things it will be hard to talk to her too as she won't admit any wrongdoing.

I think I would be inclined to either get together with siblings and buy some dog training lessons for christmas, or try and find a rescue place for the dog and just take it, telling her why, your Mum might even be a bit relieved, it can't be enjoyable having a dog there stuck in a cage all day.

YourKidsYourRulesHunXxx Wed 21-Oct-15 10:02:04

I like the idea of the dog training lessons, that's something I'm going to consider. I don't see my Mum going to them. I realise I keep mentioning my Mum, instead of my Dad, but the fact of the matter is, she is the one who insisted of getting a dog, at the expense of everyone else in the family who didn't want her. It's her responsibilty in my eyes. Much like a child who begs for a gerbil, but doesn't end up cleaning its shitty cage. It's ridiculous.

suzannecaravaggio Wed 21-Oct-15 10:02:35

suspect that to her the dog is an object rather than a sentient being, I dont know if it would be possible to get her to see things differently and have some compassion for the dog?

YourKidsYourRulesHunXxx Wed 21-Oct-15 10:08:37

She has this precious, 'flashy' princess-y attitude for no good reason. The TV has to be big, even if the living room is tiny. The badge on the car has to be from a big name even if its an old crappy model that isn't big enough to carry her family from A-B. The dog has to be expensive, even if the breed is not compatible with her family's needs.

She needs to give less of a shit about her pseudo status that noone gives a fuck about, and care about what is best for the family.

YourKidsYourRulesHunXxx Wed 21-Oct-15 10:09:37

I realise that I have compared their dog to her view on material possessions, but that is how she views her.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe Wed 21-Oct-15 10:11:00

If you post this in The Doghouse they may be able to give you some better advice.

YourKidsYourRulesHunXxx Wed 21-Oct-15 10:12:26

suzanne I agree. I don't know how to get her to change without it being a huge bust up. I would try to be tactful, but everything that is contrary to what she says is an attack. I tried to broach something with her last week, and she stormed away from me, leaving me stranded in town at night.

YourKidsYourRulesHunXxx Wed 21-Oct-15 10:14:48

Thank you Elsa. Is there a way to get this transferred? I did want this to have a good amount of traffic though as it is a serious thing. (I don't know if the usual content in The Doghouse is as saddening)

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe Wed 21-Oct-15 10:17:52

The posters in the Doghouse are really helpful and really know their stuff. I've seen threads in there about animal abuse before.

If you report your thread and ask for it to be moved MNHQ will do it for you, or you could start another thread in there.

suzannecaravaggio Wed 21-Oct-15 10:21:30

She sounds like a difficult person and I doubt that you can change her (nor should you waste energy trying) but it would be good if she could somehow ‎be persuaded that she is not a dog person and the dog rehomed.

YourKidsYourRulesHunXxx Wed 21-Oct-15 10:21:37

Thank you, I'll do that

YourKidsYourRulesHunXxx Wed 21-Oct-15 10:28:45

I've reported to thread to be changed.

suzanne, would a dog as untrained as her be considered for re-homing? I've heard bad things about dogs that don't find owners right away . I wish I could take her in, but I'm not in a position to. I live in a small flat with a toddler.

kinkytoes Wed 21-Oct-15 10:30:33

The RSPCA have more powers now, so that if the dog is not having its needs met (aside from food and water) they can still do something. A visit from them and some good advice might be enough to kick your parents into being better owners - or acknowledging that maybe they should give the dog up.

suzannecaravaggio Wed 21-Oct-15 10:35:27

OP, I dont know
but proper dog people will be able to help Im sure smile

IonaMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 21-Oct-15 11:43:16

Hi folks
We're going to move this thread over to The Doghouse for the OP in just a moment.

CaptainKit Wed 21-Oct-15 15:26:49

This is a really hard one. If it were my mother, I would probably pop in to visit and then take the dog out for a walk myself, which wouldn't even start to solve the problem, and could be tricky/impossible in your situation if you've also got a kid with you, but would ensure the dog got at least a little bit of time out of the cage. But then it's not your responsibility to exercise/train/etc her dog, especially as you couldn't take it on full time due to your living arrangements etc. (Nor should you have to, but it's the sort of rash thing I would do).

It's definitely worth reporting to either the RSPCA (as much as I have very little faith in them, it's one of the very few routes you have open) or the council dog warden - not sure either would do anything, but as a PP said; the action of having someone turn up at the door might shock your mother into wising up about dog ownership.

Sadly it sounds like the ideal solutions are either that she takes more responsibility for her dog; training and treating better, or that she rehomes the poor thing.

tabulahrasa Wed 21-Oct-15 15:53:05

You can try the RSPCA...but again I don't have much faith in them either, but it's better than nothing.

Re whether it's rehomable or not...even if she was in a shelter, she'd have more room and regular exercise.

But yes, Rotties are a hard breed because people are prejudiced against them, the lack of training is actually much less of an issue because they're a really trainable breed, really quick at picking things up and really easy to motivate, they love having something to do.

Training will help, but honestly, she needs exercise and company, they're an active sociable breed.

You do get specific rottweiller rescues if you could persuade your mum to hand her over.

Chrisalice Thu 22-Oct-15 07:58:33

Nothing useful to add, but sympathies, its so difficult when family have different standards. Rehoming is clearly the solution but in the meantime / if its not going to happen, I know it doesn't begin to scratch the surface of the problem but could you buy some toys and chews that would provide even a little stimulation for the dog, and would your mum be willing to feed a stuffed kong or kibble in a dispenser ball rather than feed in a bowl?
Maybe seeing the dog doing something other than being frustrated and therefore annoying would inspire a bit more interaction (she says doubtfully!). If there is a sibling at home could they be inspired to at least entertain the dog and teach some simple tricks by a basic but fun training dvd...
If walking has become difficult because of frustration and lack of training, would a headcollar make it more manageable? Obviously someone (you!) would need to train it to be comfortable wearing it first...
If its about conspicuous consumption would bling/cute/somehow appealing accessories make her more willing to take the dog out?! Clutching at straws!!

ChairRider4 Thu 22-Oct-15 08:51:16

Sadly RSPCA won't do anything as I spoke to them regarding a dog that is crated for 12 plus hrs in day no one home and only one walk from dog walker then crated all night they said it is acceptable as s fed /watered not beaten

kinkytoes Thu 22-Oct-15 09:39:21

But Chair that dog was being walked. This one is not. Definitely worth calling the RSPCA.

honeyroar Thu 22-Oct-15 10:42:14

Poor dog. Personally, bust up or not, I would give her a bit of an ultimatum and tell her you will be reporting her to the RSPCA or dog warden if she doesn't start looking after the dog or rehome it (and no the RSPCA wouldn't do anything, but the thought of it might scare her into doing something). I would suggest dog handling lessons or something and offer to pay for them. Tell her you don't want to fall out with her but you won't stand by and see the dog suffer. You could also contact a dog rescue for that breed, they are often good at contacting dodgy owners and persuading them gently to rehome the dog, even if it takes them a while.

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