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Anyone awake? New puppy problems. Sad/stressed :(

(29 Posts)
MummyIsMagic79 Wed 23-Sep-15 00:40:51

Am so confused and feel like we are just flailing. sad
Brought home our beautiful 8 week old Labrador on Sunday.
We have used puppy pads/taking her into the garden. Not very many accidents in the house. Couple of wees on the floor each day. One poo in the dining room today, but ALL other poos outside.
But on Saturday night and last night DH slept with her lying on his tummy, downstairs on the sofa.
We realise we need to break this. So now we are in bed and she is in her crate with the door open at one end of the hallway, and a puppy pad at the other end. She has her blanket and her cuddly toy in the crate. She is crying a bit, on and off. But not too bad. But it's loud and distressing when she does it, even if only for a second. Am I doing things right?
Read about having the fate in our room but don't think that's a good idea.
Please please help. It's like the blind leading the blind here sad

stareatthetvscreen Wed 23-Sep-15 00:56:01

my lab puppy was the same age when we got him.he went in a crate in hallway from day one.he was fine apart from maybe one whimper.he found my voice reassuring if i spoke to him so no real advice but it will get better.

enjoy the puppy days they really do grow so fast. smile

Dieu Wed 23-Sep-15 01:01:30

Listen here, it is I who could write a bestseller on how NOT to do things with a pup, so don't you go trying to steal my title!!
Seriously, if I could re-do things, I would. I'd still get him, but would do it all so differently. I took our pup into my bed and then regretted it when I changed the duvet cover and saw yellow patches of piss all over my beautiful, new (and expensive) duvet. Most days our pup pees and poos on the floor, and I'm ridiculously grateful for each one he does outdoors. He also has separation anxiety and it's difficult much of the time BUT it is getting a bit easier day by day. At the moment he is lying beside me and I'm grinning daftly at all his piglet snores.
I think when you get used to them and start to love them, the hard days just get easier.
It is SUCH early days for you. In fact it has only been a few days. You are still in the 'what the fuck have I done?' zone. I promise it will get better. This is a bit waffly because I'm tired but it IS hard work. Just a few weeks ago I wrote on here that I was finding puppy ownership fucking purgatory, but it does get easier. Hang in there. To me it sounds like you're doing brilliantly, and you will no doubt get some sound advice from more experienced owners. Just remember that the crate isn't the be all and end all. Loads of people have their pups sleep in a dog bed on the floor by their own bed. Just don't be a numpty like I was and have a non toilet trained pup share your bed. Incidentally, I now have the glamour of having rustly waterproof picnic rugs over my bed at night. Just as well I'm a single parent! I wasn't firm enough at the start, but your perseverance will be worth it ... or just have him sleep in your room (on the floor!). Good luck.

travertine Wed 23-Sep-15 01:02:24

Well I don't like crates but that's just me. We went down every other hour to take out for a wee and to settle down again. No massive cuddles, just reassurance. A little bit of crying is to be expected. We have a six month Rotti. When he was crying just a bit I would leave him but then I think if he was getting upset I would go down. I just went with my heart. he's just a baby, I slept with ours many a night.

MummyIsMagic79 Wed 23-Sep-15 01:08:53

Thank you all. She was just quiet for 30 minutes. Then barking and crying SO LOUD. She sounded hysterical! Next door have a baby about 2 months old too. So stressed. DH has just gone down, took her out in the garden and is now settling her back down. Is that right??
Really worried we are getting it wrong. Thanks so much all for replying x

Dieu Wed 23-Sep-15 01:13:51

When you speak to your neighbours tomorrow, you'll probably find that they didn't hear a thing. Try not to worry too much. It IS worse than having a newborn baby!

travertine Wed 23-Sep-15 01:19:51

dieu is right, I spoke to my neighbour today because I was worried our dogs were noisy when we are at work and he never hears a thing. I still worry more about my dogs than my babies (17 & 18 ) you sound like you are doing great.

MummyIsMagic79 Wed 23-Sep-15 01:27:24

Thank you. Now she's quiet again. For now....!

villainousbroodmare Wed 23-Sep-15 02:23:41

Puppy pads are not a great idea. Instead of learning one thing (I go outside to the loo) you are teaching two things (I go outside to the loo but can also go inside on the floor - but only if I happen to be on one of these things). That's confusing and presumably it is not always going to be fine for a great big lab to pee on a floor pad. So I'd keep it simple and just go outside all the time. If you are having a few accidents you're not going out quite enough, although of course there's going to be the odd one.
Tough it out with the crate. Go to her and console her quickly if she whinges much but keep it very low key and leave her in her own bed. One second of crying is not a lot! grin

CheerfulYank Wed 23-Sep-15 02:38:52

It is fun, isn't it? grin

We also have a lab (he is five months now) and I am just beginning to feel like "okay, we can do this."

My mother got him as an 8 week old for a birthday present for my DS, who was turning 8. I did give the okay, but (basically) only because I knew she would get a dog for us at some point anyway and I'd have to be the bad guy who turned it away. Oh, did I mention I also have a two year old and a four month old?! Sigh.

Anyway. I know some people don't like crate training and I do understand why, but for us it was a necessity for quick housetraining and also to keep the pup safe.

You can do this smile It's like babies, it does get easier!

Acer77 Wed 23-Sep-15 02:53:37

We used a crate for our lab / cocker cross when he was a puppy and it worked great!

There is some advice here:

You can make your puppy feels safe and happy in their crate by giving them treats when they go in there and by creating a warm, snuggly bed for them in there.... It's getting a bit colder now so maybe wrap a hot water bottle in a blanket so she can snuggle up to it? Lots of her fave toys in there too - make it her den by giving her treats in there with door open during the day... Make sure she sleeps in it every night - breaking that routine is confusing for her.

Re toilet training, our breeder made us write down every time of day our pup went for a wee and a poo and said to let him out every 30 mins. He got a treat if he went to the loo outside! If he went on the floor inside we just took him outside quietly, no fuss and cleared it up. Didn't use puppy pads - I agree they are confusing... We have only one room with carpet and for a while he would pee on that - I think because it's soft like grass! But he got the hang of it in the end!

CheerfulYank Wed 23-Sep-15 03:32:03

Whenever mine started to go inside I would clap very loudly to stop him and then rush him out. Lots of praise and treats every time he went outside. Out every hour at least and no more than four hours in the crate ay night. He trained very quickly smile

MummyIsMagic79 Wed 23-Sep-15 08:06:21

Izzy went from 1.20am til 6.20am today smile As soon as she woke I went downstairs and let her out of her crate. She ran to the back door and as I was opening it she did a wee in her puppy pad. Then a few more in the garden, plus a poo! She is so excitable in the mornings! She nips at the kids feet and it hurts them a bit. We have been saying NO! and moving her away, so hopefully it will start to sink in xx

MrsRossPoldark Wed 23-Sep-15 08:20:26

Crikey - you've only had her for a few days. She is unsettled, missing her Mum and siblings and in a new environment. It will take her a while to settle down - and I mean a couple of weeks.

You are abs doing the right thing by crating her. It really isn't cruel - dogs like a 'den' they can call their own and it makes them feel more secure. It seems cruel to us as humans don't naturally want to be locked in a small space but dogs do. Our dog has always been crated and it's where he goes if he wants a bit of peace from the rest of the family. We have a rule that if he's in his crate, in the kitchen, we leave him alone.

Have fun - it does get better but you really are still in the early days phase!

frenchiepup Wed 23-Sep-15 08:58:10

Sounds like you are doing fine. Like others have said I would get rid of the puppy pads as can lead to confusion, it means you would need to take her out very regularly throughout the day and also watch her closely for signs she needs a wee. Also with the crate we put it where we wanted it from day one and for the first week we had to sit in the room til he went to sleep (gradually moving further away from the crate each day) then over the next week or so it would be a bit of a wine for a minute or two before settling with no problems. It only took him about 2 weeks before he stopped waking in the night for wees and attention. When we took him for a wee we used a word everytime, and gave him a small piece of cheese afterwards. This has enabled us to get him to wee when we need him to such as if we needed to go out and leave him at home or before we got in the car. The first few weeks are tricky and a couple of weeks in you'll look back and realise how quickly she has progressed!

Acer77 Wed 23-Sep-15 12:06:10

Read the Perfect Puppy for training ideas.

Re nipping the kids toes, don't say no - she will think it is a game because she is getting attention. Instead get the kids to squeal like a puppy (high pitched)! Sounds weird but she will recognise this sound from play fighting with her brothers and sisters and understand this means she's hurting another animal smile
Then offer her a toy that she's allowed to bite instead.
Useful video here

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig Wed 23-Sep-15 12:16:16

Sounds like you're doing fine. I would get rid of the pads though, I think they are confusing. I slept downstairs on a sofa next to the crate for five nights because I also couldn't stand the whining. Eventually I was able to sneak upstairs unnoticed. I found it useful the first couple of nights to take him outside in the middle of the night for a wee if I heard him stir, but only if I heard him awake. Never wake a sleeping puppy! He went through the night by about the sixth night and by four weeks was dry in the house.

It does get easier. Monty is seven months now and utterly wonderful. You wait till you start dog training, then you'll be asking for help. grin

WhoAteMyToast Wed 23-Sep-15 19:06:12

Sorry, don't feel I can advise until I see a puppy picture!

We were advised to leave to cry at night - as it happened, she didn't.

MummyIsMagic79 Fri 25-Sep-15 00:06:21

Here she is ??

MummyIsMagic79 Fri 25-Sep-15 00:09:32

Having an awful time. She howls and barks as soon as we go to bed. Wakes all three kids and half the street probably. She is only in her crate at bedtime, is that it? She has slept on the living room floor all evening, wouldn't really get up or wake up properly, and now she's wide awake. We just want to go to bed. Put her in her crate and she went NUTS. DH now downstairs with a wide awake pup while I am in bed alone. When will this stop? So sad and utterly shattered.

villainousbroodmare Fri 25-Sep-15 00:30:32

I think that for tonight just do whatever you have to do to get through it as you sound like you're extremely emotional and overwhelmed. Just don't do anything mad like let her into your bed.
From tomorrow you need to start to change this (gorgeous) puppy's mindset on her crate. Or if it helps, think of it as her bed. That's all it is. It is not a Night Prison. Encourage her to go into it. Give her cuddles and treats when she shows any interest in it. Don't dream of shutting her into it.
This will work out fine.

Adarajames Fri 25-Sep-15 00:42:29

You do need to crate train, not just stick her in it and expect her to settle. Make sure she associates good things wih being in there, so feed her in the crate, pop her in there for a few moments, and drop surprise treats down into it, never put her in as punishment. And so on. They do tend to like their crates if introduced with care like this. My girl still goes straight in the crate if I get it out for fosters and gets really grumpy that it's not for her!
Reading the Perfect puppy by Gwen Bailey as p&p said is great, really helpful book.
They are tiny still really when taken from their litter; sometimes a warm wheatbag / hot water bottle wrapped in towel in their bed can help them settle, replaces some of the body warmth they'd've got from the mum / litter mates.
Puppies are incredibly hard work to start with, jut like babies te, but thankfully they get easier far more quickly than babies do! smile

villainousbroodmare Fri 25-Sep-15 00:43:19

Can I be more clear?
DH better set himself up with a quilt and pillow beside the crate now unless you want to bring it into your room. Make sure her bed in the crate is cosy and nice. The puppy should stay in the crate (if possible) with his comforting hand on her (if necessary). He should take her out now for a pee if she hasn't been for a bit, taking her on the lead to her appointed pee zone and minimising interaction unless she pees in which case enthusiastically and lavishly treat her. Ideally stay in the garden until she pees as if means that if she cries within a short time you can be fairly sure it's not a "Let me outside to the loo!" request, plus you really don't want her to pee in the crate. If she goes to the loo now, she should probably make it to 6am okay. Pop her into her bed, don't play or yap too much, make it clear it's sleep time, stay close or right beside her as necessary, and from tomorrow start using the crate in a happy positive way through the day as well as the night, encouraging her to go there to hang out, chew her chew toys, cuddle down with a family member beside her. Pop a couple of cheese cubes on her pillow as with chocolates in a hotel, for her to find herself and add to her positive feelings about the crate. DON'T shut her into it.

Want2bSupermum Fri 25-Sep-15 00:46:56

I remember training our golden. He is now 70lbs and sleeps on top of me every night. When he is away he cries all night unless he sleeps on my side of the bed and he can smell me on the bedsheets. So yeah I let him in the bed when he was crying...... Trust me it was no fun being 9 months pregnant with a 70lb dog on me.

Do you have a blanket over the crate? If not, do that now! It really helps. Also how big is your crate and do you have a screen you can use to make it smaller? They don't need much space. Just enough to turn around.

You also need to take her out every 3 hours right now even during the night and I echo that you need to ditch the pee pee pads. You realize those evil pads are teaching your dog to crap in your house?!? During the day keep her in the crate too between pee breaks. Once she is housebroken let her out. You don't want her chewing your furniture (get a lot of nylabones) and it can happen in a moment when you are upstairs sorting something out.

Tiptops Fri 25-Sep-15 04:05:38

I always take new puppies into my bed bedroom for the first few months. They settle immediately without any upset, I can hear them shuffling around and get them outside before any accidents. Tbh, I think leaving them alone in a cage when they're used to being with litter mates is downright cruel. All my dogs (won't embarrass myself by saying how many, but I need two hands to count) happily slept downstairs once they were older and more independent.

Don't give up on the crate training. It's a great idea especially with young children - the dog has a safe space of their own to get away if it wants to. But, you need to make the crate a lovely, happy, appealing place to be. Feed her in it at all mealtimes, and casually give her treats in there through the day too. Put her favourite toys in there. Don't lock her in straight away, and when you do, do it for 30 seconds then release her again. Gradually build up the time she is locked in.

Don't give up, you can do it and they're so worth it in the end after the unruly teenager stage

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