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My parents want to get a staffy, should I tell them no?

(126 Posts)
StarsInTheNightSky Wed 05-Aug-15 08:36:49

hmm I don't have a huge amount of experience with the breed so I'm hoping that before I tell them no some of you could advise me please.

Background, DH and I own and live on a ranch in extremely remote South America. My parents have decided that they want to come out and live with us. We live in the main ranch house with our toddler DS, our housekeeper and her six year old daughter. The hands, foreman and their families all have houses (which we own) dotted around the main house, walking distance but not too close. We are renovating and extending one of the vacant houses for my parents, it's about half a mile away from the main house.

We have three giant breed, extremely protective and extremely dog aggressive rescue dogs (two Caucasian Ovcharkas and one Fila Brasiliero). They protect us and guard the ranch (lots of predators, including human ones where we live) and they are our adored family pets. We now have one other dog on the ranch, an orphaned stray pup taken in by one of the hand's children. We fenced off an acre of garden for them, and the rules are that the dog has to be leashed at all times when outside this area and that it is never allowed in the main house or our formal garden (DS' play area). My dogs have been taught to tolerate the dog on its leash on this basis.

My parents want to adopt a rescue dog from their local shelter in the UK before moving abroad, so we thought we could so the same with them, fenced acre, on leash at all other times, not in the main house or garden. This is apparently horrendously unfair to them and their dog (but that's a side issue).
They want to get either a staffy or a labrador, preferably a staffy. My question is, if they found one with the right temperament, would a staffy be capable of being very submissive and meek around my dogs, or would it try and play and be boisterous? My parents have said that what if their dog just got off the leash sometimes hmm.
The only way my dogs would tolerate another dog is if it is grovelling and meek around them, or if it stays away from them, DH, DS and I completely, hence why I thought a rescue dog from our country would be a better bet as they tend to be better at that.

Any advice on the breed and temperament would be much appreciated, sorry for the long post, didn't want to drop feed.

PotteringAlong Wed 05-Aug-15 08:39:54

Tell them no. Your house, your rules. The breed of dog is a red herring. It's what will happen when they live with you.

StarsInTheNightSky Wed 05-Aug-15 08:44:54

That's what's I thought thanks Pottering, they aren't the sort of owners to bother training their dogs either, it feels like a disaster waiting to happen, I just didn't want to be unfair to them.

ClaimedByMe Wed 05-Aug-15 08:47:51

I'm not against having a rescue staffy, I have my own but it makes me uncomfortable thinking about them trailing it half way across the world, I know animals can travel safely but I think it's unfair particularly to a rescue dog where they may not know much about its history.

I would agree a rescue dog from your country would be a better idea.

When are they planning on moving, would they maybe consider becoming a fosterer for staffies in the UK to fill the gap until they move?

Dieu Wed 05-Aug-15 08:49:18

Staffies are AMAZING dogs, in the right hands. Better with humans than other dogs, but this can sometimes be rectified if socialised early enough. I loves Staffies (sorry though, no time to post more at this point)! Good luck.

SunshineAndShadows Wed 05-Aug-15 08:49:34

A lab is just as likely to be boisterous as a staffy tbh. With the breeds you have and the potential fir dog-dog aggression I don't think it matters what breed they get, only that they keep it completely away from your dogs

Arkkorox Wed 05-Aug-15 08:50:00

Well I've got a rescue staffy who to be quite honest couldn't give a crap about any other dogs, it comes down to the individual dogs NOT the breed.

StarsInTheNightSky Wed 05-Aug-15 08:52:01

Claimed, thats a good idea thanks but they're planning on moving as soon as possible, they just announced it to us hmm. I personally think the whole idea is unfair (to the dog) and ridiculous, but I am trying to make sure that immnot being harsh about it. Plus if they did do it, and their dog got torn apart by mine, that would be horrific for the poor rescue dog.

StarsInTheNightSky Wed 05-Aug-15 08:53:23

Sunshine yes, I think a lab would be an even worse idea. Sigh. Looks like I'm going to be the bad guy again,still better that than a shredded dog.

StarsInTheNightSky Wed 05-Aug-15 08:55:09

I should probably have mentioned that all three of my dogs have (and do) kill other dogs (lots of rabid strays around here).

ReggaeShark Wed 05-Aug-15 08:55:13

Your house, your expertise, your rules or they stay where they are.

OTheHugeManatee Wed 05-Aug-15 08:58:42

I was coming in to say YABU but under the circumstances I actually think you're being realistic and responsible.

Why not tell you parents to move out sans dog and get to know your giant slavering hellbeasts beloved guard dogs better before they make a decision? They might realise how silly they were being once they've seen them in action a bit wink

SunshineAndShadows Wed 05-Aug-15 08:59:46

with the type of dogs you have and the previous learning experiences they have of killing other dogs, your parents' dog breeds to be totally separate. The breed is irrelevant.

I'm sure you've also considered this but you'll probably also need to socialise the dogs to your parents and ensure your parents don't just wander into your house to say hello or randomly interact with your DC whilst the dogs are there

StarsInTheNightSky Wed 05-Aug-15 09:00:20

Arkkorox yes, I appreciate that, I'm a big supporter of deed not breed for legislation (my dogs' breeds are banned in many countries) but the breed does have an influence, I don't have anything against any breeds really, though there are some I wouldn't want (labradors being one of them!)

TheChocolateDidIt Wed 05-Aug-15 09:07:28

Gosh. I would tell your parents no due to the genuine worry that your dogs could kill their dog. That would be terrible and your parents sound a bit like mine- let the dog off to see what would happen, then get all devastated when the dog dies when it was actually their fault.

lilacblossomtime Wed 05-Aug-15 09:08:11

I think that they need to move out then consider what dog, if any to get. I would think it would be a potential disaster if they rescue a dog then move abroad to a totally different environment with your dogs.
Have your parents stayed with you much? Maybe they should do a trial stay (with no dog) for a while, and keep their options open if it doesn't suit them.

StarsInTheNightSky Wed 05-Aug-15 09:12:06

Othehuge my parents have met ddogs1 and 2, it did not go well. That is a great idea though, hopefully they might see sense after living here a while.

Sunshine, ddogs1 and 2 already hate my parents (from a previous visit of theirs) and ddog3 is very very typical of Fila temperament. Still, they are all highly trained and exceptionally obedient, with humans they will pin rather than maim or kill, and they are very good at calmly preventing people from entering the house, getting near DS without any fuss/growling/snarling, they will in the first instance just need people or block them.
Yes though, that's why the other pup is on leash when not separate, so that my dogs see the leash and know to ignore the pup.

Gah. This is such a bad idea all round. Thank you everyone for the advice, it is making me feel less unreasonable.

Arkkorox Wed 05-Aug-15 09:12:15

Stars Im very jealous you can have the dogs you do! I would love them sad

StarsInTheNightSky Wed 05-Aug-15 09:16:25

TheChocolate, yes, that's exactly what they're like.

Lilac, yes the have stayed with us for the odd fortnight here and there, but they've sold their house and then told us they were moving to live with us (again another issue) so they're just waiting for the sale to go through. Grrrr. I think they will end up hating being here all the time and wanting to go away on holiday for several months of the year, likely wanting us to dog sit. angry

StarsInTheNightSky Wed 05-Aug-15 09:19:03

Arkkorox, thank you! We adore them,marshmallows with family, fearless at protecting us and so calm, tolerant and gentle with DS. They were all about to be pts when we rescued them. Not so fun when they want to get in the bath tub with you though, ddog3 is the lightest and she weights fifteen stone! grin

massivearse Wed 05-Aug-15 09:21:44

I've just googled Ovcharka.

My word that's an impressive pooch.

lilacblossomtime Wed 05-Aug-15 09:22:52

I just googled Caucasian Ovcharkas and they look gorgeous, but I can see they might easily kill another dog, it says they are bred to protect the herds from wolves. I think you should do some more work to socialise them with your parents when they arrive, hopefully without a dog.

Mrsjayy Wed 05-Aug-15 09:22:56

Dunno about your parents but can i come and stay your place sounds amazing grin anyway tell them not to be so daft they cant drag a newly adopted dog staffie or not that they dont really know round the world its not fair on the poor dog

lilacblossomtime Wed 05-Aug-15 09:28:36

It does sound amazing Mrsjayy, the sort of place I like to read about in books. Not sure I'd be up to liking there.

lilacblossomtime Wed 05-Aug-15 09:29:00


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