Talk

Advanced search

picked our new pup today ... but now feel a bit crap

(12 Posts)
Dieu Mon 22-Jun-15 00:23:08

Hi everyone. Today was a very special day for my children and I, as after years of deliberating and doing research into breeds etc, we finally went to choose our pup! Photos to follow when my teenage daughter is around to help me post them up! We were really chuffed at how it all went and love our wee lad already. Exciting!
One thing has happened late tonight to sour it a wee bit though. My mum does some work with rescue Staffies, has adopted one, and has made the whole thing her life. I haven't actually seen her for months and nor have my kids. That's fine and I'm glad she has a focus in her life. We support her choice (even though it wasn't always easy at first with this big dog sometimes growling at the grandkids) and my mum has worked wonders with the dog. I applaud her for this, and we take turns to mind the dog if she has to go away for the weekend or whatever.
Tonight I posted on FB about our new pup and put up some photos. My mum hasn't liked or commented on it, but instead put a post on her own timeline about a rescue Staffie who has 4 weeks to live before being euthanised. I am devastated for this animal, and have shared the post with several dogloving friends who have better doggie contacts than I do.
I now feel a bit frivolous and stupid for getting a non rescue pup. I did consider the rescue Staffie option, but rejected it because of our cat. I have chosen a non aggressive breed that gets on fine with other animals, so that I can more or less guarantee his safety as best I can.
Now, I LOVE Staffies and was brought up with them, so I do know what I'm talking about. They are the most fantastic family dogs imaginable, in the right hands. However, as wonderful as ours were with us as kids, I remember the stress of walking ours when there were other dogs around. I wanted a breed that my kids could take for walks themselves (at a suitable age of course) in the park, without too much stress or worry.
I have a bit of anxiety at the moment, which is making me focus on the plight of this poor Staffie, and my earlier joy of the day is dissipating.
Am I being unreasonable to think that my mum should respect our choice, and be happy for us? Incidentally, her face was also tripping her at my nephew's (her grandson) first Holy Communion a few weeks ago, as she doesn't agree with the whole religion thing confused
I can totally see myself taking on a rescue Staff way ahead in the future, when I have no cat/young kids/more indoor space.
Sorry this is so long. Thanks for reading if you've made it this far.

Dieu Mon 22-Jun-15 00:43:00

Oh, and we didn't 'pick up' our new pup today, as in the opening title, we simply picked him as 'the one'. Blame it on tiredness for posting at stupid o'clock!

Adarajames Mon 22-Jun-15 00:45:02

If you can get a rescue dog, great; if circumstances mean you can't, and you are careful to make sure you're not supporting a puppy farmer / backyard breeder, then getting a pup is also fine if that's what your family suits best. Unfortunately hundreds of dogs are pts, my Fb feed is full of them everyday with only days to live, but we can't help all of them, and dwelling on it isn't going to help anyone, so it may be best to just block that post from your feed and get on with enjoying your pup, training him / her and training your kids to ensure you all settle well together and your dog has an appropriate home for life.
A long winded way of saying take it easy on yourself and enjoy your pup whilst is small, they grow up Wayyy too fast!
X

FadedRed Mon 22-Jun-15 00:51:46

Oh dear, does DM think the world revolves around her? She is entitled to her own opinion on things, but that doesn't mean everyone has to agree. Enjoy you new dog and ignore the cat's bum face. Your family, your decision. I wouldn't want a rescue Staffie in your situation, not fair on the dog or the children.

Strokethefurrywall Mon 22-Jun-15 00:52:07

Oh don't feel guilty and enjoy your lovely pup!!

DramaAlpaca Mon 22-Jun-15 00:54:58

Don't feel guilty. You've clearly researched this carefully & chosen the right dog for your family & your situation.

Dieu Mon 22-Jun-15 00:55:25

Thank you so much for your kind words. Was feeling rather pathetic for giving a shit about her disapproval, when I'm a 41 year old woman!
Still crossing my fingers for the Staffie, as it's absolutely heartbreaking, but I do want to enjoy this special time (first family dog for us) without guilt.

Dieu Mon 22-Jun-15 00:58:21

Oh, and at least our cat is a rescue moggy grin

tabulahrasa Mon 22-Jun-15 07:56:15

There's no such thing as a non aggressive breed of dog, any breed of dog can have issues. Just to be awkward I feel the need to point that out because I think categorising breeds of dog into safe and not safe is hugely dangerous.

There's no reason though ethically not to get a puppy from a good breeder as they shouldn't be adding to rescue in any way, good breeders breed carefully and infrequently and stay in touch with new owners so that if there is ever an issue they can take the puppy back.

TheMotherOfAllDilemmas Mon 22-Jun-15 08:13:07

You acted like a responsible dog owner, checked different breeds rather than getting a puppy just based in their looks. You tried to find the one that is right for your family.

The fact that staffie is facing euthanasia is because the person who got him as a puppy did exactly the opposite thing. Don't let her make you feel guilty for being responsible or not taking on other people's irresponsibility.

Despite what every staffie enthusiast says, staffies are like any breed, suitable for some, unsuitable for others. With some very nice dogs and others that are absolutely nasty. If you think that adopting a grown up staffie, you know nothing about, was not for you, so be it. You wouldn't
force your mum to adopt a pedigree puppy, would you? She has to learn to respect your decisions.

pigsDOfly Mon 22-Jun-15 09:11:12

If you have young children adopting a rescue with a possibly unknown temperament has the potential to all go horribly wrong.

Yes staffies can be lovely dogs in the right hands, but the reason there are so manly in rescues is that a lot of them have been bought by people who wanted them for their power and their aggressive image and then got bored with them.

Your mother is being ridiculous and unfair, especially given that, from the sound of it, her dog needed a great deal of remedial work.

You've done your homework and chosen the breed you want because that's what suits you. And whilst, as pp said, you can't judge on breed whether a dog is going to be aggressive or not if you get a dog as a puppy and train it properly you have a pretty good chance of ending up with a non aggressive, happy family dog.

Enjoy your new puppy when you get him/her home and ignore your DM. She does the right thing for her, you've done the right thing for you and your family.

TheoriginalLEM Mon 22-Jun-15 09:22:56

your mum should know that any reputable rescue will not let dogs go with families with young children. This is for good reason.

I have two dogs. one was a non rescue puppy the other a rescue.

I would only have a rescue now as i don't particularly enjoy the puppy stage. That is what works for us now. People have rescue dogs for many reasons. Not just to do a good deed.

lots of rescue dogs have reasons why they needed rehoming, usually through lack of training but often this means they are unsuitable as family pets.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now