I can't cope- dog sitting.(64 Posts)
My MIL has a VERY needy rescue mutt, and has gone on holiday for two weeks and asked me to dog sit (his usual kennel was un available) I had no choice but to accept.
I currently have a 6 year old, an 8 week old, a very selfish partner who is out of the house for 12 hours a day (I say selfish because 3 of those hours are to go to the gym ) and very bad knees.
The dogs been here for 4 days and is already very clearly depressed. I can't walk him because of my knees, and I can't give him that much attention because I'm occupied by my 8 week old and then my 6 year old. I've also got exams to study for, a house to look after and meals to cook. My partner does fuck all to help.
When my partner leaves for gym/work he sits by the door crying and barking then stays in his bed all day until he comes home. When my partners home, he plays with him a bit, but (understandably) he'd rather play with his children. He doesn't eat his food and his tail is down all day.
I can't cope with him being here, to be honest, he is a complete inconvenience to me and he can sense it.
I've never taken to him either, he'd poorly trained, he begs to the point of climbing on you when you're eating (I tell him off, my partners feeds him off his plate...) he moults everywhere, he smells, he jumps up, my 6 year old can't leave a single toy out with out it getting destroyed, I don't want him on the bed (8 week old sleeps with us) but my partner undermines me and let's him on there and I end up resenting him more.
I feel bad because it's not his fault, but I can't help how I feel.
What can I do to make these next two weeks easier on us all, and help the dog be happier? I don't want to tell mil as I imagine it will ruin her holiday for worrying.
I want to enjoy my new baby but this dog is making me anxious.
Kick your partner up the bum and tell him that he can forget the gym while his mothers dog is staying in your house as he'll be taking the dog for a lovely long run before and after work, and then doing some housework to deal with the extra hair generated by the dog.
Can your partner come home at lunchtime to walk the dog, or would he rather pay a dog walker for these two weeks?
Because he needs to step up to his responsibilities and stop being a tosser
Find someone locally (teenager? other dog owner?) to take him out for walks every day? Dogs really do need exercise, and it should make him much happier. Or suggest that your partner walks the dog instead of one of his daily hours in the gym.
And never agree to dog sit again, obviously.
Given that he spent his two weeks paternity leave having extra long lay ins and gym sessions (meaning from day 1 I had to do both school runs) I doubt that he will bother.
His problem is that he has his head in the sand, the dogs happier when he's around as he gets some attention, so he thinks he's fine. He doesn't see how sad he is during the day, or how stressed it makes me.
I have thought about a dog walker BUT would a stranger coming and taking him out worsen him?
What an awful situation. I feel for you. Could you find another kennel for him? Could you charge it to your MIL when she's gets back? Presumably she would have paid out a kennel if the usual one had been available. I think it was so so selfish asking/telling? you to have the dog when you've got a new baby or indeed an older baby. And one that destroys toys? Ffs. No doubt people will be on soon saying poor dog and I suppose he is but I think people come first. Put it in a kennel. Fait accompli. Don't ask, just do it. Sounds like your MIL and dp have much in common, selfishness-wise. Bloody nightmare.
The poor dog isn't trained properly and that's why it behaves badly.
As for your partner, Given that he spent his two weeks paternity leave having extra long lay ins and gym sessions (meaning from day 1 I had to do both school runs) I doubt that he will bother.
Well he does sound like a selfish twat from this. But tell him. Don't see if he'll bother. TELL him someone has to walk the dog and you cannot (does he really not know that a dog needs walking?)
You poor thing. Many people would struggle with coping with their own dog if they had knee problems and an eight week old to look after. Your 'D'P needs a rocket up the arse. He's failing you and the dog. Exercise will make the dog happier and more relaxed around the house and he's got no excuse for not walking the dog.
I'd call in any favours you can with friends and neighbours to get the dog walked. Invest in a Kong toy if it doesn't already have one and use it instead of a bowl for meals - stuff its normal food inside. I'd tell your partner that the dog stays off your bed but is more than welcome to sleep with him on the sofa.
I'd call in any favours you can with friends and neighbours to get the dog walked.
Why, when the partner could do it if he wasn't so lazy?!
Mainly because someone who would use their paternity leave to have lie ins and go to the gym rather than help out their partner is unlikely to suddenly stop being selfish.
I entirely agree- poor poor dog. He is a cross breed with border terrier in him so he NEEDS to be trained and properly stimulated. I imagine it's quite stressful for him to have no proper stimulation. It's also quite stressful for any domesticated dog to be untrained... One minute he's being rewarded for bad behaviour, the next told off! What's the poor thing to think? Please don't think I'm an evil dog hater... I love dogs... But I choose not to own one because I can't give them what they need.
I feel so so guilty because it's not his fault he's like that...but I can't take to him because he's like that. If I can't even take my 8 week old baby for a lovely stroll in her pram, does she honestly think I can walk him? I struggle to do the school run and that's a 5 minute walk up the road.
My partner is a selfish tosser. I totally agree with that and I have nothing to say in defense of him.
With regards to a kennel, when she found out the usual one was un available she wanted to cancel the holiday, I'm going to look into this, and into a dog walker for him this afternoon though. It's not fair on anyone involved.
The partner will disagree, I am sure, he will probably get pissed off, but fuck him.
Well yes, but on the other hand it would seem to be a good and pressing time to give him the kick up the arse he obviously needs.
The dog being walked will really help, whoever ends up doing it. I don't think you're anti dog at all. If you were you'd be blaming the dog not posting here or trying to get a dog walker. Dogs can be a huge pain in the arse when you actively chose to have them.
A dog walker will make a difference as the dog will be bored and full of energy.
You could also get something for him to chew on when everyone else is out, a raw bone or a kong with some wet food or meat frozen into it, that should occupy him pretty well.
If he likes toys, get your 6 yr old to play with him once he's home from school, fetch or tug of war or best of all because it tires them both out with a football.
I'd also consider rehoming your partner tbh.
I'd also consider rehoming your partner tbh.
Your partner is your biggest problem here - the dog will be gone in a week but you'll still be stuck with him.
Think I'll return him to his mother, along with the dog once she returns from her holiday
CLearly your partner is an dickwad and I very much hope you deal with him once you've got the energy. Of course he should be walking the dog instead of going to the gym, but that is just the tip of the iceberg.
In the short term, yes yes yes to teenagers, dog walkers and any other support. Get dickwad to pay - his mum, his problem.
You should find a good local pet sitter who will look after him in their own home and get them to take him asap, charge the bill to mil when she gets back. Tell her why you couldn't manage and that the dog was unhappy and misbehaving (not his fault but you shouldn't have to deal with it).
My dog would do that too btw, even though he's not allowed on furniture...it doesn't stop him trying to join in every time there's any sort of cuddle going on - he gets told to get off, every single time, but never has worked out that it might be wiser to just not try in the first place.
Needy is the right word. He must be thrown by not having his person around. You're being incredibly tolerant with a tiny baby around.
Also, beautiful little one. And the plus side of bad knees is you look like a kick ass roller derby girl.
Thank you everyone. Now dickwad is home he's being sent out with the pup following by shit collection around the garden.
I'm going to look into kennels and walkers tonight. I think my friends mum may even dog sit at her home so will call them later.
Ah perhaps I could look like a good roller derby girl but I assure you that even in my more mobile times I was far from graceful and agile have to cover up before going out to avoid dodgy tan lines too
Where are you in the country OP? If you're in Lancashire I'd walk the dog for you at least two days.
Oh tooold thank you but I'm in London! Not far away thank you though x
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