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Not sure I want a dog anymore but DH does

(6 Posts)
edgesaresharp Sun 21-Dec-14 20:46:35

DH grew up with dogs and has always wanted us to get one. I have never had a dog, but I wanted one too. Unfortunately, up until recently we were renting and working full time, so it just wasn't the right situation.

However, we now own our house and DH works from home. The catch is that we now have a baby. Before DS was born, we decided that we would get a dog when he was 6-9 months. He is now going on for 5 months, and I just don't feel that keen anymore. Life is busy enough at the moment, and I feel like the last thing I need is something else to look after. We also have two guinea pigs who I used to spend lots of time cuddling, but these days they don't get much attention beyond being fed and cleaned out.

I haven't mentioned this yet to DH, as he hasn't actually instigated anything so far. I'm wondering whether I'm being selfish. He doesn't have many friends or family here as he moved to live with me (not that he complains, it just makes me feel guilty about not wanting to go through with this). And he will no doubt tell me that he will do all the walking etc. But even so, the more time he is looking after the dog, the more I will have to do with DS etc.

Sorry for rambling, but just looking for some perspective from dog-owners. I don't know when I will feel ready to get a dog. For starters, we want to have another baby in a couple of years, so we could be looking at many years down the line.

Somanyillustrations Sun 21-Dec-14 20:54:41

I have a 4 year old, 8 month old, 3 horses, a dog and a cat. I'm a full time student, on placement 35 hours a week. It's fine, but that is because this is how my life has always been, and the animals are nearly as important to me as the children.

If you feel you can't cope with another responsibility, then it would be unfair to bring a dog into the house. However, you may find that it slots seamlessly into your life. If you are generally outdoorsy, walking at weekends, unfussy about household cleanliness etc, it will be much easier than if you spend weekends dressed up, in town and like a spotless house!

It's a big decision, and one that you really need to discuss with your DH.

Hoppinggreen Sun 21-Dec-14 22:51:53

I believe that all family members need to want a pet, especially a dog.
If you aren't sure then don't get one or wait until your baby is older and you aren't worrying about crawling through puddles of wee etc.
Lots of people have babies and dogs and it's fine but there's no reason not to wait until the baby is older.
We are getting a dog soon and we have waited until my children are 6 and 10

Nesspot Sun 21-Dec-14 22:54:41

Yeah, you need to talk to your dh. We have two dogs and when we got the second one we fought loads as she was a handful and stressed us out no end - and that was with us both being in full agreement about getting her. It would have been so much worse if one of us hadn't really wanted her in the first place!

JoffreyBaratheon Mon 22-Dec-14 01:15:58

I just wouldn't. It's safer with a baby maybe to have a pup you can bring up with the child. But a pup is a shedload of hard, hard work and if you don't even want to do it in the first place, it will be impossible. I've had 5 kids and several pups - have a pup at the mo - and I'd say a pup can be harder work!

In a few years it may be the right time. Your husband will understand and if he doesn't you still have less of a problem than you might if you went ahead, reluctantly.

ProcrastinaRemNunc Mon 22-Dec-14 01:46:46

I have four children and we have ten pets, four of which are dogs. I'm a single parent and run a business from home. I find our various creatures to be a massive benefit and enrichment to our lives and no kind of hinderance. However, if it is not something you want, don't do it! Being lumbered with absolutely anything you're not keen on is horrible and this particular creature won't be a brief fad. You are talking a commitment of up to and around 20 years (depending on breed)! It really is OK to say no.

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