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My heart is breaking

(56 Posts)
spiderlight Fri 19-Dec-14 12:05:15

Our beautiful, beautiful springer has cancer - aggressive growths affecting the soft tissue and bone in both her shoulders. She's nearly 13 but she's always been so active - six weeks ago she was chasing squirrels in the park like a pup. She developed stiffness and a limp and the vet said it was arthritis, tried her on various anti-inflammatories and they all worked for a few days and then stopped. She got much worse this week and they took her in for x-rays yesterday because she's had autoimmune problems in the past and they thought it might be IMPA, but they found a soft tissue mass that's eating into the bone on one shoulder and a mass on the tip of her shoulder blade on the other side. Both are too high to be operable and we wouldn't put her through major surgery anyway. She's at home with Tramadol while they send the scans and biopsies to a specialist for a second opinion, but it's obvious what it is really. She's barely eating, sleeping most of the time and very very sore when she moves - we're having to carry her outside to go to the loo. If the tramadol doesn't get on top of the pain over the weekend we will be saying goodbye on Monday. She's the most amazing character and we all love her so, so much - don't know what we're going to do without her. Our other dog is going to be bereft, and our little boy has never known life without her.

These pics were only taken at the end of October....

pinkbraces Fri 19-Dec-14 12:08:56

She is beautiful. Im so so sorry. I don't have any magic words but didn't want to read and run.

Remember what a wonderful life she has had with you. I hope the Tramadol works.

marmaladegranny Fri 19-Dec-14 12:17:25

What a beautiful dog - life is so cruel. Hopefully the Tramadol works but if it fails try to remember all the good times. Could you bury her ashes in the garden so she has her own 'special place' & your little boy can still go to talk to her. Having worked 3 children through 4 cat deaths + numerous guinea pigs and rabbits the only comfort I can offer is that children seem to deal with pet death better than adults….

spiderlight Fri 19-Dec-14 12:46:49

Our vet has just rung to say that the specialist thinks it's multiple myeloma, and has offered to refer us to the specialist veterinary hospital for MRI/CT and to see whether chemotherapy is an option. I'm waiting for DH to come home so I can talk it over with him. I don't know what to do sad

needastrongone Fri 19-Dec-14 13:02:02

Spider - I have two spaniels. She's lovely.

I am so sorry, I am dreading this day for us, even though mine are young.

I think you need to assess her quality of life? When she can no longer enjoy all the things that make her life fun and happy, then maybe the time is right. Only you can make that call.

I am sure that she has had the best life possible with you, and take ocmfort in this, whatever happens.

writingbeagle Fri 19-Dec-14 14:57:30

I also have a spaniel and cannot imagine how awful you are feeling. She is very beautiful. Thinking of you. x

spiderlight Fri 19-Dec-14 15:32:19

Thank you. The referral hospital have fitted her in for first thing on Monday morning so we will go and see if they think they can help. If not, then she will be going to chase squirrels in the sky.

KittieCat Fri 19-Dec-14 15:37:20

Awful news. My beloved cat was diagnosed with lymphoma.

She was treated by specialists at VRCC.

Chemo wasn't a bad experience for her and while it was expensive it wasn't prohibitively so.

Got everything crossed things go as well for you as they did for us once she started treatment.

spiderlight Fri 19-Dec-14 18:32:51

Kittie - is VRCC Vale? That's where Megan is going on Monday.

reallystuckonthisone Fri 19-Dec-14 18:35:56

I am so, so sorry. What a beautiful girl. I hope she is comfortable this weekend and whatever happens on Monday, I know you'll do right by her. flowers

Tootyfilou Fri 19-Dec-14 18:46:11

So very sorry for you all. She is an absolutely beautiful looking girl. Hope you are given some hope on Monday, and you manage to get her more comfortable on the weekend.
Its a cruel cruel time. flowers

basildonbond Fri 19-Dec-14 19:05:18

Fingers crossed you get some positive news on Monday

atonofwashing Fri 19-Dec-14 19:32:14

I am sorry too.
What a beautiful looking doggy.
How stressful for you all.
Thoughts are with u.

spiderlight Fri 19-Dec-14 19:34:39

Thank you all flowers I feel like there's a huge cold hole through my heart every time I think of the possibility of losing her on Monday. I love her so much.

Here she is on her summer hols in the Lake District in July. She loved every minute of it - she was in and out of the water all week, had a boat ride which she adored, and made millions of new friends. She loves everyone she meets and sits on their feet to say hello. I would give anything to give her another summer, or even just another trip to the beach.

atonofwashing Fri 19-Dec-14 19:57:46

A www, wonderful pics.
Looks like she's had a cracking life with you.
They are such sociable creatures.
No more words, really. It's just crap, the thought of losing a furry friend. :-(

Focusfocus Fri 19-Dec-14 20:21:35

No words can take your pain away. I've lost three of mine - of which two passed within less than 48 hours of each other - and the third, a baby at 7 years (small breed was supposed to live well into teens) - died within a year of the other two passing. Shell shocked isn't enough to describe it.

We coped in different ways. I live on the other side of the world from them, so I made them an online memorial site, wrote them poems, collected their pics together and wept for weeks.

My mum - who kept them for me - did her best in a third world country and found the one solitary pet graveyard, buried them and made them marble shrines with their photos tiled on top.

Then I got a puppy two months ago to start it all again. And strangely - as raw and as corrosive the pain was, gently, gently it becomes a deep and less raw pain.

Many vibes of strength to you - don't be afraid to cry with your furry baby, it's just ok to cry.

flyinghogfish Fri 19-Dec-14 21:30:04

I am sorry to hear you are going through this, she's absolutely beautiful. But if she is no longer enjoying her favourite things it may be time to say goodbye sad
My only advice is to cuddle her lots, take photos and build memories just in case. It's bloody hard, raw and emotional to lose them, feels like a massive gap that can never be filled but at the end of the day (and this helped me make the decision to put my 16 yr old collie to be pts a week ago) think how you would feel if you were in their shoes (or paws)
Sending you lots of love and positive thoughts and we are here if you need to talk, hope I have helped xxx

dotdotdotmustdash Fri 19-Dec-14 23:20:43

I'm so sorry to hear about M :-(


FlatCapAndAWhippet Sun 21-Dec-14 06:11:30

The photographs of her in the lakes epitomise happiness. She's absolutely lovely.
I hope it is better news this week.

spiderlight Sun 21-Dec-14 13:37:13

Thank you alll for your kind words. She's still mostly sleepy and calm, although she was very perky this morning, still eating (being hand-fed all her favourite treats) and being such a good girl letting us know when she needs to be taken outside, even though it's obviously suich hard work for her. We will go to Vale tomorrow to see what they say, but if they can't promise a rapid improvement, we won't prolong things any further.

spiderlight Mon 22-Dec-14 18:08:19

My beautiful sweet girl went to sleep in my arms this afternoon, eating Milky Bar buttons while her daddy stroked her head. She didn't have any invasive tests at the specialist hospitla because her previous biosy results were in and sadly they confirmed that she had a very aggressive form of histiocytic sarcoma and that there was nothing that could have been done. We made the decision to let her go today while she was still herself - she'd brightened up ehnough to go for a little toddle in the fields and made some new friends while we were waiting for the test results and she was tired and sore but calm with a waggy tail, and we would have been selfish to bring her home for another few days when she would only have deteriorated further and the outcome would have been the same. We are heartbroken but we know it had to be done.

Sleep tight Megan - loved and missed for ever.

CQ Mon 22-Dec-14 18:15:19

So sorry, Spider.

She had the best life possible with you and you made the best (and hardest) decision for her at the last. Surrounded by loved ones and eating Milky Bar buttons is the way we should all end our days.

basildonbond Mon 22-Dec-14 19:15:03

Oh I'm so sorry spiderlight - sleep well Megan x

atonofwashing Mon 22-Dec-14 20:36:17

Sorry, too :-(
I know how you feel, but I imagine she had a fabulous life, and you should feel proud abt that.


LoofahVanDross Mon 22-Dec-14 20:45:59

Spider I have read through your thread with tears welling up and a real sadness for you. We are a springer household here too, we've had lots of them and wow what great companions they make. I am so very sorry for your loss and take comfort that you chose her and she chose you to give eachoher the best lives ever. RIP dear sweet Megan x

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