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Struggling to feel positive about puppy

(69 Posts)
Dogownerwithoutacluebuttrying Mon 14-Apr-14 09:29:46

My puppy is just over 9 weeks. The first two days were a total shock despite lots of research beforehand.

Then things settled and were ok but I'm having a tough time today and really struggling with it. We haven't had a single poo accident after the first night and he had done really well but then I found one on the floor by the crate which might have been in the night and dropped out of his quilt on the floor - not sure. He also did a big wee on the floor even though I'd taken him out and he'd done a small one 10 mins before.

He attacks my shoes whenever I put them on.

I feel quite negative about it all and a bit stressed. Tell me it won't always be this way. I find the toilet side of it a bit gross and sometimes it makes me feel sick. He has had soggy poos which hasn't helped.

Dogownerwithoutacluebuttrying Wed 23-Apr-14 12:25:15

Starting them this week!

Struggling to get much work done between toilet visits, playtime, feeds but so be it. Enjoying talking to him though.

Booboostoo Tue 22-Apr-14 17:23:38

Glad it's going better!

Have you started puppy classes? They are the best thing in the world!

everlong Tue 22-Apr-14 08:10:01

It's all worth it smile

Dogownerwithoutacluebuttrying Tue 22-Apr-14 07:42:26

Just returning to say the bonding is definitely coming!
He keeps me on my toes still (understandably) but I feel more positive about it all.

Helped by the fact we had a good day at friends' and he just snoozed outside and played with the children and then a decent night so I feel less stressed but who knows what today will bring smile

Dogownerwithoutacluebuttrying Sun 20-Apr-14 15:56:08

More thanks...this is helping and i am feeling more positive if tired!!!
He is still leaving me a poop in the crate first thing.

I know he isn't naughty and just needs to learn. He has been better the last couple of days so is responding already.

needastrongone Sun 20-Apr-14 11:10:50

I can see both sides here smile And I sympathise. I really do.

I didn't fully bond with ddog1 for a few months. I had read and researched to death, got confused with all the conflicting advice out there, and so wanted to do it 'right', that I forgot to chill, relax and enjoy our puppy. The mess and the poo didn't really bother me (apart from this rainy winter, with the 'forever mud', I would be lying if I don't prefer this dry weather from that point of view!), and it's helped me with my OCD cleaning tendencies, I am quite anxious and worry about stuff, having a dog and going with the flow more has improved this no end. Once I relaxed.

DH just went with the flow more, and therefore felt the love immediately. Ddog1 adores DH. When I relaxed too, the love came. Now we have two dogs, the cocker is only 5 months, but much easier than even 3 weeks ago. They grow quick, calm down quick, it does pass faster than with DC each stage. Ddog2 is so much my dog, and is such a little poppet, and so good

I found training really helped with bonding, do you do clicker training? That's such good fun, it's really fab seeing the dogs cotton on to stuff so quickly. Plus, you get a well trained dog too smile We do the KC good citizen training too, did gold with Ddog1 but will just do the basics with ddog2, as we know what we are doing.

We worked hard on the 'calm' commands - wait, stay, settle, leave it, bed etc. Having spaniels, they would be on the go all day every day, but it's important that they settle. You don't have to shout at them, find what works for them (usually food) and motivate them to behave as you wish.

Hang in there, or make a decision soon.

The only thing that worried me about your post was that you said he was naughty, or words to that effect. I am not sure that tiny puppies really can be naughty. Just use posiitive training methods, be consistent and he will learn the boundaries.

This is a really waffling post as I am popping out, but just wanted to say something. smile

insanityscatching Sun 20-Apr-14 09:20:03

I'd been reading on here for years before we got Eric and thought I knew how wearing the early days would be but nothing really prepares you I think if you've never had a dog before. I definitely found it much more difficult than having a newborn because at least with a newborn they wear nappies and stay where you put them.
Now though, I love our little dog, bagging his poo isn't a big deal anymore (I was a lot bit squeamish initially). Yes his desire to eat and roll in horse poo isn't his most appealing habit but he looks so cute when he gets out of the bath so I can forgive him that and I love that he greets me like I'm his best friend every time he sees me, I love how he nuzzles into my neck and makes little snuffling noises and I love how he sleeps at my feet with one paw touching and is so content.
These early days will pass and eventually the good bits get to take over I can't imagine now not ever having a dog in our life anymore so much so we have asked the breeder to give us a ring when she has more puppies in a year or two.

Boudica1990 Sat 19-Apr-14 23:48:45

Aww OP it's ok to feel like that so.stones, I think every dog owner has become frustrated at some point.

Stick with the training and be persistent. Routine is key for puppies, and I'm so sorry to be the barber of bad news but poo/pee accidents happen. Yes there.more frequent as a puppy but even the occasional "adult" dog can get caught short.

My nearly 3 year old cocker decided to mark his territory by peeing on the Dyson upright the other day hmm joy.

You sound care for him.and I'm sure you do just give him time.

hmc Sat 19-Apr-14 23:35:35

Good post Hellymelly

hellymelly Sat 19-Apr-14 23:08:35

Didn't want to flame you or be unsupportive, so I hope that isn't how my posts came across. I agree that puppies are very hard work, mine did drive me mad at times. You are clearly kind and caring and looking after your puppy really well. I just wanted to say that whilst a lovely idea in the abstract, dog ownership doesn't work for everyone. Chances are you just need to adjust your rosey specs a bit and in time you will really bond with your dog and love him. But if you do feel that it is all more than you expected and more than you can cope with, or want to cope with, then giving a dog up sooner rather than later is better for the dog. This isn't a criticism of you, puppies take a huge amount of time and mopping up wee does get very wearing, there is nothing bad about finding it hard. I do hope that over the next few weeks it all gets a bit easier and you start to feel the love. My previous dogs have been house trained by 16 weeks. (my puppy now is taking longer though).
Do think hard about old age too, my much-missed previous dog had bladder control issues in old age, due to nerve damage in his spine, and he widdled everywhere for the last year of his life. In his bed, all over carpets which had to be removed and binned etc. So factor that into your decision about whether a dog is for you.

hmc Sat 19-Apr-14 20:17:44

Stick with it op and keep us posted. You do toughen up and get used to the grim bits (like poo eating - all my dogs have done that....I found it rank initially but barely react now; although I tell them not to do it)

mogsandrovers Sat 19-Apr-14 17:40:40

ps - i haven't read the full thread, but soggy poos is a bad sign that the food hes having is too rich or he has allergies or needs a good worming

if hes 9 weeks old - youve hopefully had him a takes time


mogsandrovers Sat 19-Apr-14 17:38:54

hi - Congrats on your new pup. what breed of dog is this?

i have 2 dogs right now - one was a pup from 8 weeks and the other a rescue at 1 year...dogs need a few months to settle in and learn your house rules.

some tips:
dont use verbal communication to scold a naughty puppy - use a sharp "SSHHH!" (like the noise a cat makes) to communicate that a behaviour is naughty and the dog will soon learn without fearing you or his name!
trust me it works.

have some time out from your pup by using a crate or baby gates - you decide when the pup gets your attention or has access to you.
he will soon learn.

just enjoy your pup because they wont be a pup for long xx

Booboostoo Sat 19-Apr-14 16:57:30

OP I genuinely sorry if you think I was being harsh, that was not my intention. But life will be better for you and the puppy if you give him up now when he has a good chance of finding another home than later on. If you think you can cope and just need to vent, rant and have a bit of support from other people online that is fine; but you did sound at the end of your tether over very simple things.

Dogs eat poo, most often cat, fox, cow, horse and rabbit poo, sometimes their own poo. There is the odd dog that might never eat poo, you never know. All dogs will roll in fox poo, this is the nuclear option, it smells like nothing else in the world and needs to be washed off asap. Dogs are also likely to bring back half a rabbit, a dead bird, or vomit the leftovers of all of the above.

Bowlersarm Sat 19-Apr-14 16:46:53

If his eating of the poo worries you, that could be a problem for the future. One of my labs eats an extraordinary variety of disgusting things both on a walk, and at home.

Dogownerwithoutacluebuttrying Sat 19-Apr-14 15:21:09

p.s. he hasn't eaten any poo as far as I know (yet) so that was just an example.

Dogownerwithoutacluebuttrying Sat 19-Apr-14 14:38:18

Thank you for your advice and understanding.
I know some of you find it harsh of me to have said what I said up thread but I AM caring for him properly and being kind.

I just find it hard and I need advice and support not flaming. I thought that I'd very quickly get over the yuck factor the same way you do with babies. I'm ok picking up the poop now it is more normal and just managed when it was runny. I've cleared a poop from his crate this morning and other days too.

Fine clearing up wee but I struggle if it can't be contained and he stands in it and then walks it everywhere. I will sound flaky to some of you I know. I am being honest.

Hopefully I will get used to it all.

I hear what you are saying about making decisions sooner rather than later. I feel I can manage at the moment but I need to be 100% sure for his sake. I'm trying to dissect what is making me feel so anxious and stressed and it is:
- a. the OCD factor with cleanliness (see above) - if he eats poo I then can't cope with him near.
- b. he is a real handful but that can be sorted out with training and I'm willing to put the work in.
ok and maybe c. I am exhausted from lack of sleep from worrying and late nights/ early mornigns but that should get better too...

Pizdets Sat 19-Apr-14 08:43:56

I don't think anyone relishes cleaning up poo, especially not the squitty kind, it's just something you do as part of being a pet owner. I complain about my baby's poos and early waking, it doesn't mean I'm going to dump him in a few months' time.

If someone had told me I wasn't up to looking after our puppy at this stage and that I should return him I would have been utterly heartbroken. I didn't feel instant love for him, I found him very hard work, and I think that's really normal. OP, if you are a responsible person and on it for the long term then do believe it will get better. At 18 months our pup 'sleeps through' until 8am in his crate or longer if we let him into the bed in the morning for a cuddle. He has the odd accident but they are v fewand far between and mostly our fault (ie didn't spot him asking to go out). I haven't put hours and hours into training but have been consistent which means his recall is good, he doesn't jump all over people and furniture and he knows how to behave. He's also still extremely cute!

If you're doubting your ability to look after a dog at all then by all means consider returning him, but if you're finding the puppy stage hard and looking forward to things getting easier then rest assured they will!

Booboostoo Sat 19-Apr-14 07:57:16

Bowler it's brilliant that you adjusted to having a puppy but the sad reality is that many poorly thought-out puppy purchases end up in rescue at around 12-18mo. That is the stage that the puppy has outgrown all its cuteness factor, has missed out on training and socialisation and all its more permanent problems are very apparent.

The OP seems to have a serious problem with very standard aspects of looking after an animal. Anything that needs to poop will poop in the wrong place at frequent intervals in its life. My adult dog had gastroenteritis this week (along with my DD and DP - bliss!) and was doing diarhoea everywhere. TMI alert: one lot, at the vets, was so liquid and projectile it went on the table, the floor, the wall opposite, the bookcase/books and the ceiling of the surgery - shit happens, literally. Meanwhile my elderly cat has had a stroke and needs to be hand fed and followed everywhere to make sure she is peeing and pooing as normal. That's life with animals.

hellymelly Fri 18-Apr-14 22:19:28

I do agree with you Bowler, in principle, my only worry, having had many years with a breed of dog that routinely ends up in rescue at about 12m, (as owners find the teenage stage too hellish), is that a small puppy is easy to re-home and a larger dog less so. So if the op really has just made a mistake and underestimated how much work a dog is, then it is better to re-home now rather than in six or eight months.
I love having a dog and hated the long dogless months between the last dog and this one, but dogs are not for everyone, some people just do find the effort and commitment too much.

Bowlersarm Fri 18-Apr-14 18:24:54

I don't agree Booboo.

I could have been the OP. I now love that little puppy I could have written about as the OP has. He now has a 'sister'. They are currently 7 and 4. It has been a sharp learning curve, but they are a huge addition to the family. I love them to bits and it is a huge success story, for us.

It takes as much getting used to having a puppy, as having a baby, as far as I'm concerned.

Keep going OP. It is worth it.

Booboostoo Fri 18-Apr-14 18:16:07

I have to agree with GallstoneCowboy, the puppy deserves a more loving home, he's done nothing wrong but be a puppy. I saw this thread a few days ago and bit my lip, but come on OP, why did you want a puppy in the first place? Return him to the breeder asap now that he is really small and has a good chance of finding another home before things get even worse.

everlong Fri 18-Apr-14 17:00:37

I hear you OP.
We have this rosy image of a new puppy sitting sweetly at out feet as we watch TV. .

A new puppy is hard work. Sometimes a bit soul destroying.

He's still very very young. A baby. It's hard to remember that sometimes.

My youngest dog is 10 months old and thinking back to the early months I pulled my hair out sometimes.. He's still very destructive if left for 5 minutes on his own which is annoying.. but he's the sweetest, loveliest, daftest dog and we adore him.

Give your puppy a chance and you will have a true friend.

hellymelly Fri 18-Apr-14 16:51:56

Agree that muck and mayhem come with dogs, even when they are adults. And your dog is a very small baby. Your expectations of him seem ridiculously high, he isn't going to be reliably house trained for a while yet. My five month old has got the hang of it, but did a wee in her crate last night as we were late waking up, we felt sorry for her, it was our fault completely. She has the odd accident still, and that is normal for this age. Young and old dogs do take more work, and have more accidents, but all dogs will make a mess, sometimes have accidents when they have tummy bugs, might vomit on your best rug, chew your most expensive shoes, and get mud on the carpet, all that is part of choosing to live with a dog. I wonder if you really want a dog in your life after all? Maybe you didn't realise quite what was involved?

GallstoneCowboy Fri 18-Apr-14 16:15:22

Rehome the dog. If two accidents and some shoe chewing have panicked you I really don't think you're suited to puppy ownership. If you got him from a reputable breeder they should be happy to take him back.

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