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Is it time to put her down?

(45 Posts)
ELNino Tue 30-Jul-13 14:33:34

Beautiful GSD, 9 years old with CDRM.

She can still walk a bit but most days her back end just goes and she drags herself along. She can't go out for walks anymore. We have tried a cart but it stresses her out.

She poos in the house but is now sleeping on it, so not moving away from it.

Our garden has lots of steps to the grass so difficult for her to navigate.

It is painless and her mind is still young.

We work full time, me mainly from home and have a toddler, she isn't getting the full time care she needs. This is what I hate about this situation.

dogsagoodun Mon 05-Aug-13 22:41:27

So sorry to hear your news Whispering Shadow. We are just over a week from losing our boy and it's tough. Hope you're holding up ok.

And mom, congrats on the foster dog. That's lovely news.

IfUSeekAmy Mon 05-Aug-13 12:56:19

I know, they are full of them aren't they. I had a staff x lab for a few months end of last year but he had a fight with my old dog (the one who I lost last week) so I couldn't keep him because they would have fought again and she was no match for him. No rescue place wanted him and the RSPCA said they would put him down if I gave him to them as they have so many needing a home. Luckily my friend I got him from took him back again but I would have had to have him pts probably if she hadn't had wanted him back. He was nuts though! He escaped from my garden 3 times just by running at the fence until he had smashed big holes in it! I couldn't let him in the garden without supervising him in the end. But they do get a bad press. I looked at RSPCA and dogs trust but with owning a dog already and having 3 young children there are no dogs which match our requirements.

WhisperingShadow Mon 05-Aug-13 10:35:49

We took Shadows items to the RSPCA Sunday, where we rescued her from. We had a look round. Sad to see all the Staffies there. Over half. I am not a fan but still sad.

IfUSeekAmy Mon 05-Aug-13 09:20:36

Hi catipola sorry for your loss too

IfUSeekAmy Mon 05-Aug-13 09:17:48

I'm ok thanks shadow, hope you are too. That's such lovely news mom you are doing a really nice thing by fostering. My mums Labradoodle is still staying with us and she's really helping keep my Labrador on his toes! I've applied to Labrador Rescue so hopefully we can give a dog a forever home. I keep thinking this time last week my dog was still here but I have to remind myself that she was laid out in her bed because she couldn't stand up, couldn't go to the toilet and she was unhappy and that helps me remember it was the right decision. My MIL and FIL babysat for us on Saturday and didn't mention the dog once which has really annoyed me for some reason, like she didn't exist. Not even a 'sorry to hear about dog'. And they are dog people themselves.

Capitola Sun 04-Aug-13 23:04:36

Really tearful reading this.

It's exactly 2 years since we had our dog pts.

She was 14, had a litany of serious problems including the bloody awful anal furunculosis. Her back legs didn't work, she was doubly incontinent, had a chronic skin condition and neurological disease.

On the vet's advice we made that awful decision. I (too my shame) was too sad/scared to go in with her and left all the really awful bits to my fantastic dh.

It was the right thing to do, and a relief, despite the huge sadness.

So sorry for anyone going through this. I still have a little cry when I think about her.

momnipotent Sun 04-Aug-13 22:55:56

Oh Shadow, hugs to you. It is so damn hard.

I am doing OK. I've actually had a good doggy weekend. I volunteer at our local humane society and there had been an older dog in there that has not dealt very well with being incarcerated. She was taken from her family (her and two other dogs and three kids) and the other two dogs were much younger than her so they were adopted right away. To begin with she was just very nervous but when I went in yesterday they weren't allowing any volunteers near her because she had snarled at a couple of people. Meanwhile, I had shared her information on FB and my friend was driving 4 hours just to meet that dog! It took 5 hours and some persuading but eventually they allowed my friend to not only meet the dog but adopt her and take her home the same day (usually there is a couple of days' lag while they check references). I KNEW this dog was a great family dog, she just couldn't cope with the kennel. My friend said she was much more relaxed once they were away from the shelter and when they got home they introduced her to their 8yo DS and the dog calmed right down, lay down next to him and then slept on his bed. I think she just needed someone to look after. So, that was a happy day.

And then today I picked up a new foster dog! I'm not sure if I mentioned, but in the same week that my old boy died we also had to send our foster dog that we had had for 6 months away. It was the worst week. I realized yesterday that I am not ready to adopt a new dog right now, it feels too much like trying to replace my old boy, but I am OK with fostering. The new foster is a 1 year old shepherd cross, she was rescued with two other dogs, they were left tied up at a house when the owner moved away. She is a bit skinny and scared of everything. It has given me something to focus on. I realized this morning that last night was the first Saturday night when I haven't done the "_ weeks ago at this time I had both my boys with me still" thing. Not to say that I don'y miss my boy but the intensity of the grief is less now. I am relieved about that.

WhisperingShadow Sun 04-Aug-13 18:34:11

How are you both doing IfU and Mom?

WhisperingShadow Sun 04-Aug-13 18:32:19

Well she's gone. Just starting to hit me. Keep looking at her place on the patio. We go down in the morning and open the back door just because we use to.

It feels autumnal here but we have no one to take to the woods and stroll through the fields.

momnipotent Sat 03-Aug-13 14:31:32

I hope everything was peaceful yesterday and you are doing OK today OP.

MissMarplesBloomers Fri 02-Aug-13 22:01:47

Oh OP I feel for you it's an awful thing to decide on, but it is the last loving thing (oddly) you can do to let her go peacefully.

I hope it all went OK & you are swapping silly stories about her and toasting her memory.

Come & tell us some of them if it would help ...hugs from another doggy house too.


1MitchellMum Fri 02-Aug-13 16:42:06

I think it's shock. After we'd had our two dogs put to sleep (separate years) I had no tears immediately afterwards. With the second one (nine years and three days ago) I drove myself home as OH and I had met at the vet, and phoned my Mum and my friend on the way home, perfectly calmly. But in the weeks that followed I howled every day. We also had fizz in the evening to celebrate their lives. Two other dogs we had both died naturally. But it does sound very much like her time has come ... better really that you're sure. x

momnipotent Fri 02-Aug-13 15:03:57

I was remarkably calm on the day I took my old boy in. I amazed myself to be honest. I had been dreading it for years and had shed many tears over him eventually leaving for years before we even had the diagnosis but on the actual day I barely cried at all. I miss him terribly but I am in much better shape than I expected to be, I think because I knew it was time, I had done everything that I could and there was no other option.

It sounds the same for you and she sounds ready. It sounds like a nice evening for you to remember her. On the day my old boy died we had pizza and chocolate volcano cake for dinner in memory of him, because it would be kind of meal he would really appreciate.

Take care of yourself OP.

WhisperingShadow Fri 02-Aug-13 14:43:16

Just waiting for DH to come home. I feel far to calm.

I think there is something more than cdrm going on. She has wanted to be inside in her bed today and yesterday evening, is panting heavy, and was crying. This is the right decision. I think it will hit me later.

I have bought a candle to light later and a bottle of champagne to sit down with tonight, and talk about all the funny things she did, with DH. Tomorrow we will go and walk alongside the river she loved.

momnipotent Fri 02-Aug-13 12:54:26

A great big hug for you OP. It really is the kindest thing to do for her although it will be hard for you. xx

1MitchellMum Fri 02-Aug-13 12:23:40

So sorry. The last act of kindness ... enjoy some cuddles with her, and over the weekend maybe write down some memories of her - habits, little things she's done over the years. This will make you smile in years to come when you read it back and maybe think of things you'd forgotten about. Big hugs. x

IfUSeekAmy Fri 02-Aug-13 11:58:25

So sorry, it's going to be such a hard day for you. Just remember you are doing it for the right reasons and you have given her a lovely home and she knows she is loved by you.

GemmaTeller Fri 02-Aug-13 11:14:53

Have a really big (((((hug)))))) and give your precious GSD one as well.

She's had the best possible life with you.

WhisperingShadow Fri 02-Aug-13 11:12:30

Hi. We are doing it today at 1600. We need to let her go.

IfUSeekAmy Fri 02-Aug-13 11:10:05

Hi mom hope you are ok today. I came on to see how op is too, how is dog today shadow?

momnipotent Fri 02-Aug-13 11:01:06

How are you doing today OP?

Empress77 Thu 01-Aug-13 13:02:02

I had to make the decision about this last year for my girl, so really feel for you. So hard to know when the suffering has become too much, I was so devastated with it all. She had an incurable tumour and had days to live but was still enjoying taking sausage soup from me and sleeping in my bed - I also changed the vet appointment a few times - and when he did come at the end she got up and was pottering round the garden - seemed impossible to make the right decision for her!.

My boy dog is now terrible with his arthritis and collapses on his back legs so fear this may arise for him in the future - fortunetly not yet as hes super happy in himself and ignores the problem. He cant go for long walks or run for a ball but he still has excellent quality of life as can do other things he loves like delicious treats, snoozing in the sun and taking an old man slowly slowly sedate "sniff everything" kind of walk. Saying that he still revels in his self assigned guard dog role and manages a run when he wants to "protect" me, and is very happy with himself. I think that not being able to do the things you used to be able to do isnt so bad - that happens to us all - as long as there are other fun things in life.

I wonder about for your concern over the pooing - have you thought about using dog nappies/pants maybe? and disposable incontinence pads to go on the bed to help keep it and her clean?. they will draw the wet away from her. Or a washable vetbed that does the same thing? If you havent tried them already they can be got online/through the vets. both would go nicely over a cheap comfy duvet for her bed?

I also wonder if the vet would try changing his meds to something you havent tried, or to add to them? - for example my dog has loxicam and tramodol. And if he gets worse the plan is to try steroids. Hes lucky that his kidneys are ok but if hes without pain from the pain relief then Im happy even though I know it wont be good for them - i want him to have a comfortable life over a long one.

you also mention harnesses - have you tried using a towel/sheet rolled up and put under her back legs to help her with steps? Kind of like a sling hoist thing - hard to explain - sorry! Thats what we do at the vets to help dogs out to the garden.

Im sorry for you and your lovely girl, I guess theres no easy way to decide atall. Shes very very lucky to have a mum who cares so muchxxx

topbannana Thu 01-Aug-13 12:28:22

I'm with floral on this one as I have only ever "known" the night before. I think it takes enormous strength to do what you are doing.
Perhaps cancel but agree with DH that the next really bad day she has will be it? sad

momnipotent Thu 01-Aug-13 12:10:21

If she is not suffering (ie, in pain) then I think it is OK to cancel it for now. My heart goes out to you, it is an awful decision to have to make, especially if you think they are not in physical pain.

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