Surviving the first night of a new puppy

[lastnightiwenttomanderleyagain]

Hi All,

Serial lurker, first time poster (no kids so feel slightly fraudulent!).

We're due to pick up our mini dachshund puppy in 4 weeks time. He is my first dog (husband has always had them) and I'm madly in love with him already. Herein lies the problem... I know that the first night is going to be painful - he comes from a house full of dachsies so being by himself is going to hit him hard. Clearly the right thing to do is to leave him to it with no fuss at all but I have NO will power. I'm the kind of person who buys two chocolate bars thinking 'Ooh, I'll have that one tomorrow' and then five minutes later wonder where they both went.

Can anyone recommend any good ways to help him settle/me ignore him?

[MultumInParvo]

Earplugs

[Pandemoniaa]

As an experienced dog owner I ought to have a sensible answer. In reality, I have started every night for the last week with the pup snoozing blissfully away on the pillow next to me. However, I do return him to his lovely comfy bed (next to mine) and then attempt to ignore the crying. It seems to be working but he's too small to be able to get back onto the bed at the moment so resigns himself to having to use his bed.

When I got the Senior Terrier, he slept in the kitchen and when I could no longer ignore the pathetic calls, I'd go down and, without turning the light on, say "Go to sleep, pup". It did work. Eventually.

[Lilcamper]

This is from a dog trainer friend of mine, she recommends you start with the pups crate in your bedroom with you:

'The crate must be a nice place to be. Here is how I do it with my pups at 8 weeks old:

Day 1. before bedtime pup has had supper, been out to the toilet a few times, a play session, cuddle, another play session and toilet again and rinse and repeat until the puppy can no longer keep his eyes open. Then we are carried up to the bedroom and placed in a nice warm cosy crate. I sit there with the door open stroking a puppy that is dropping of to sleep and as soon as they are in the land of nod I shut the door, put the light out and grab some sleep myself.

At some point before the sun comes up, puppy is going to wake needing the toilet. I put on my slippers and dressing gown, pick puppy out of crate, go downstairs and outside where pup is guaranteed to pee as soon as those feet hit the grass. Then scoop up puppy and back to bed, helping him to settle down before getting back into bed myself and grabbing some more sleep before the inevitable early morning alarm call.

Day 2 is pretty much a repeat of day 1. The evening must be spent entertaining the puppy so that come bedtime we are ready to sleep.

and so it goes on and puppy fall into a routine of falling asleep when he goes in the crate and waking briefly for a wee and then going back to sleep again.

I have done this with every single puppy and every single rescue dog for the last 40 years and it has never failed.

Leaving a puppy to cry in a crate is teaching the puppy to associate the crate with being distressed.'

[topbannana]

That's interesting lil as I always believed that a puppy who is played with and given lots of attention will miss that when it is withdrawn. Better to gradually wind down the interaction over the evening so the puppy does not feel abandoned.
I suppose its what works for you I just pop mine in the cage and leave them to it but I will admit I have been lucky so far and your friends advice makes sense in theory, if you have all evening free to spend (and certainly sounds a good idea for the OP)

[idirdog]

I pretty much do what Lilcampers friend does. I sleep in the room with puppies. I have a play time before bed and then when the puppy gets sleepy I pop him into his crate stroking him until he is asleep. Then I will shut the crate door and sleep close enough to reach out and stroke him if he stirs.

Over time usually just a few nights he will be happy and contented in his new home and I can move further away and by the end of the week I am back in my bed and the puppy is happy to sleep in the crate.

No howling just a contented happy puppy

LilCamper there are some words in your thread that remind me of a dog trainer I know not Sally by any chance?

[Lilcamper]

Pmed you idirdog

[Vibbe]

When we got our dog, we got a little toy that smelled of the puppies/mum/breeders home - it's supposed to be relaxing for the puppy.
We had a cardboard box (with blanket/pillow to sleep on) next to the bed that she slept in. If she was whining a bit, I could stroke her.
The box had high enough sides for her to not be able to get out, so she would whine when she needed to go for a walk.

[HindsightisaMarvellousThing]

I tried the crate in our bedroom idea when we had our latest new pup. It was fine for a while, but I couldn't get the puppy to resettle after the middle of the night wee. So puppy ended up in bed with us, and we all got a good night's sleep.

After a week, the pup and existing older dogs had got used to each other enough for me to be happy to leave them all together at night. Happy all round!

Equally, a friend with a puppy at the same time left hers in the puppy bed in the utility, and the puppy was fine and asleep all night from day one.

I think you might need to play it by ear on the day.

[neepsandtatties]

I was all prepared to have to bring our dog up to the bedroom with us on the first night, but I shut the kitchen door and didn't hear a peep all night. Admittdly he was 9 months old, but he had been in a foreign shelter (where all the dogs sleep together in one run) and in foster care (with lots of other dogs) so had never slept alone so a kitchen on his own was a big change.

So you might get lucky!

[HotPanda]

I do what lilcamper and idirdog do, pretty much.

Night one, I slept downstairs next to the crate with the door open, and her bed by the door. If she stirred/came out of the crate I took her outside and waiting for a wee. Once done it was back in the bed next to me with stroking until asleep.
Night two was the same, but with the bed further back in the crate. Still within stroking distance.
Night three same, but bed right at the back.
Night four with the door shut once asleep. Alarm set for every 3 hours.
Night five door shut, me on sofa not floor. Alarm set for every 3 hours
Night six and seven the same.
Night 8 her in crate with door shut, me back upstairs in bed, alarm set for every 3 hours.

The times of the alarm have changed to be shorter in the middle gap so eventually get to 1 waking in the night.

Happy pup, happy me. I liken it to the gradual withdrawal method used on babies. I know it sounds a lot, but she struggled.
My first dog just went in the crate on day 1 happy as you like without issue and I only had to get up with him in the night rather than the sleeping downstairs palava!

[insicknessandinhealth]

You will need to play it by ear I think. I also have a mini dachshund puppy who is now 5 months old. I did the 'shut the door and don't go back' method I'm afraid but I didn't shut her in her crate just shut her in the kitchen. We had six or seven bad nights which got gradually better but earplugs were my salvation in the end. It was extra hard for dixie though as she was nearly 12 weeks when we collected her. She now sleeps fine but in the end I had heat pad, radio on, blackout blind, two snuggly fleeces and a giant peppa pig toy which is like her puppy night-time friend. Oh and you could get some adaptil spray from the vet which mimics the pheromones given off by the mum. Spray it on the bedding about 15-20 mins before you put them in. If I had my time again I would do it a much gentler way I think but once I started I was determined to go through with it. And I'm the same as you with chocolate...!good luck with your mini dachs, if you are in the southeast look out for the dachshund walks and follow the sausage dog hotel on facebook. They all go walkies together and there are fun activities to join in with!

[lastnightiwenttomanderleyagain]

Thank everyone for the replies - it seems like there really are so many different methods! I like the idea of having him in the bedroom for the first week or so but DH is dead against it - his view is that he will never leave (possibly right). I think we may go for the shutting in the kitchen approach, he has a crate but we're probably going to treat it more as his bedroom with the door always open rather than 'traditional' crating.

Who knows, maybe DH will change his mind once he's here!

A little concerned as I spoke to the breeder today to talk about jabs and I could hear whining in the background 'oh, is that the pups?' 'sort of...that's your puppy'. Oh dear, we may have a whiner on our hands! He's one of three - breeder is keeping the girl and looking for a home for the other little boy. Apparently the other two play more together so he's the left out one...might make it easier when he leaves but want to make sure he gets the socialisation he needs!

insicknessandinhealth we are in the South East - Berkshire. Will keep an eye out! Out of interest, what's the longest you've left your dachs for so far? My husband teaches at the local school (puppy carefully timed to coincide with the school holidays!) so we're trying to work out how often he will have to come home for a play or if the dog may just become an honorary member of staff!

[insicknessandinhealth]

Yep we had a whiner - and barker! But made a friend of a lady who took another one of the same litter and he is a lot more chilled out I think and settled in a bit more easily than ours and rarely barks. I work PT but my DH is at home all the time as he is disabled following a stroke. At first she cried whenever we left her in the daytime so we carried on doing it for very short periods and gradually she got used to it. He is out at a speech group for a couple of hours once a week and she is fine with that. You will probably need to build up gradually and also it is worth from day one making a habit of coming in and out of rooms, and not making eye contact with them when you return, gradually increasing the time you do this to get them used to the fact you are coming back and will return. I did a bit of this but not religiously. You also need to think about the stairs because of their backs and possibly use a stair gate at the bottom to prevent them going up as they cannot get down and can easily fall. Ours can get up them now if she gets the chance but I always carry her down stairs. Good luck with it I think it is nice to have a lively one, they are intelligent and curious dogs, think of it that way ;)

[Lilcamper]

birdmomma