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(11 Posts)
NeilPearsonsBitOnTheSide Thu 16-May-13 22:46:12

Today I had my lovely 18 year old Lurcher, Tessa, put to sleep.
I feel absolutely devastated and cannot stop crying. I also feel so guilty as it was me that took her to the vets.
I just wanted to reach out to some other doggy people, I don't know what to do with myself.

poorpaws Thu 16-May-13 22:54:11

I'm so sorry to hear your sad news.

Tessa would have wanted you with her don't feel guilty.

These words might help "you can cry because she has gone but you can smile because you knew and loved her".

I have had many dogs in my life and have had to take most of them to be put to sleep but the one I feel most guilty about is the one I left it too long before taking her and she died at home in distress. Believe me that is a far far worse guilt.

My thoughts are with you. She had 18 years that is amazing. Smile because you knew and loved her. Take care of yourself (she'd want that).

MagratGarlik Thu 16-May-13 23:54:24

It does get easier, honestly. My previous dog was pts at aged 16. It is the same as losing any other member of your family, but it does get easier with time.

Scuttlebutter Fri 17-May-13 00:01:59

Sending a big unMN hug to you, OP. It is devestating. sad You will miss her for a very long time as she has been a huge part of your life for nearly twenty years.

All I can say is that when we have loved unconditionally and deeply that bond will never be broken even if we are physically separated.

Please look after yourself, and hope you are being cared for. In a little while, you might want to think about how you remember her, perhaps by putting together your favourite possessions (collar and tag, brush, ball), planting a special rose in the garden for her or thinking about where to scatter her ashes, or even a scrapbook of your favourite pictures of her.

And please don't feel guilty about taking her to the vets. I'm sure you were the one person she'd have wanted with her. I am glad to have been there for our dogs when the time came, to accompany them as far as I could on their last journey - it's the final act of a loving owner.

NeilPearsonsBitOnTheSide Fri 17-May-13 08:15:14

Thank you for your replies, I knew that we were going to have to make this decision sooner rather than later but I never imagined that it would be this hard. Instead of feeling relief that she isn't suffering anymore, I feel guilty that maybe I was too hasty and could have given her more time. I just stroked her ears and said sorry over and over.
I need to remember all the lovely times and it helps to know that I'm not alone.

topbannana Fri 17-May-13 08:35:52

So sorry to hear about Tessa nealpearson
It is an absolutely heartbreaking thing you have done and quite normal to wonder if you have been too hasty. Just bear in mind that a vet would not PTS a dog who was not ready. I prefer (though this is not really the correct terminology) to PTS sooner rather than later, as poorpaws said, the guilt of watching a beloved pet suffer would be far worse.
Take time to get over it and also be aware that it will continue to be fresh in your mind for some time- the PTS of my old girl in January has only just started to not be so raw after the arrival of a new puppy, though your post had me in tears and I went back to look at old photos and blub self indulgently for a few minutes hmm

SconeInSixtySeconds Fri 17-May-13 08:46:40

I am welling up just at the thought. sad

You loved her for such a long time, it's inevitable that it will hurt for a long time too. But you did the best and kindest and noblest thing you could have done by putting her needs ahead of your own.

Huge ((hug)).

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows Fri 17-May-13 10:14:01

The last great kindness x

mistlethrush Fri 17-May-13 10:17:57

It is so difficult having to make that decision - we had to last autumn with mistledog, who had been such a wonderful dog for DS to grow up with.

I know many doglovers say that its better a day early than a day too late.

18 years is an amazing age to have her - she must have had a good life with you.

Gingersstuff Fri 17-May-13 10:32:28

I'm so sorry for your loss. Little consolation now but in time you will come to know that you gave her the best end a dog can have and you'll be grateful for it, you really will. It's bloody hard and I don't care what anyone says, it really is like losing a family member. 18 human years of a happy and fulfilled life is amazing.

susiedaisy Fri 17-May-13 12:27:45

Thinking of you x

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