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Feel such a failure ........

(18 Posts)
doglover Mon 13-May-13 17:29:06

We are a dog-loving family and have always had rescue labs. We took on our last one 6 months ago but I think we're finally at the point of having to admit defeat. She's a 2 year old bitch - had her speyed a while ago - but her destructive behaviour is increasingly difficult to contain. She is a loving dog, keen to please but suffers from acute separation anxiety. If crated, she is distressed and howls and if left in the kitchen / access to garden (with our other dogs) , she chews anything and everything. We've worked with a behaviour specialist to no avail. We love her but don't think that our home is the right home for her. We'll probably contact our local lab rescue tonight .................

doglover Mon 13-May-13 17:41:55

It's so hard to recognise that we're not meeting her needs but this is obviously the case. Her behaviour is unsettling the other 2 dogs and causing enormous tensions within our family which I feel powerless to prevent.
I know we've done everything we can but hate to give her up sad

typoqueen Mon 13-May-13 17:51:12

(((doglover)))) I know exactly how you feel, it was about 5 years ago we also had to admit defeat with a rescue lab we had, like yours she was a loving dog but so terribly destructive, she got 2 long walks every day, was not left alone for long (20 min school run twice a day) and you didn't even get a chance to lock the door behind you and she was already up on the worktops in the kitchen, caged she would bark constantly till let out, we found her a loving home on a farm where she had 4 acres fenced in to run around all day long older couple who even now still send us updates on her smile but I must add that if you have not got the right dog its never going to work, we found we were contantly stressed and worried about what she would do next, felt like all I did was shout at her, its not fair on them or you....xxxx
we now have a rescue rottie 15 months old had him 2 months now who is adorable, plods about the house all day, chews nothing but his own toys and is good when left smile

doglover Mon 13-May-13 17:55:45

Thank you so much for replying, TQ. We've had 7 rescue dogs over the years and have never been in this position before. You've exactly summed up our feelings about her and our anxiety and know that she needs a home that can give her the constant time and attention that she so needs in her life. Heartbreaking sad.

schoolnurse Mon 13-May-13 18:10:18

I dont normall look on this section but today is the anniversary of the day we put down our "rescue dog". She was almost identical to yours absolutely devoted to me but completely stressed out if I even left her for 5 mins and literally hated everyone else in the family and had even attacked them when their backs were turned she also bit another lady who tried to see if she could "rescue" her instead of me, the behaviourist when she was just talking to me and had her back turned and the vet. She became so anxious that despite me feeding her enough food to make a St Bernard over weight (she should've only weigh 10 KG normally) she was like a skeleton.
I put her down after a long consultation with my vet she was never going to settle anywhere else and I decided it was end for a very unhappy dog who at some stage in its life had been so badly mistreated that it was completely neurotic. I will never have to wonder if she was OK she died in the arms of the only person she loved: me.
Her dog tag remains on my key ring as a memory.
I've been round dogs all my life and I think sometimes we have to accept that there are very occasionally some out there that cannot be helped.

doglover Mon 13-May-13 18:24:14

This sounds so similar, SN. Our girl is fed far more than the recognised daily amount for her age/breed and is really skinny, almost skeletal, which is unheard of for a lab. She's constantly 'on the go' and only settles with me.
I love the key ring idea. x

needastrongone Mon 13-May-13 21:08:50

Please don't feel a failure. You mustn't feel a failure when you have tried your very best. It sounds like the situation is causing immense stress and anxiety within your family.

What did the rescue recommend? Have you spoken to them since?

No words of wisdom but much sympathy.

needastrongone Mon 13-May-13 21:10:43

Sorry. I assumed she was from a rescue and whether they had provided any advice either initially or now.

doglover Mon 13-May-13 21:28:37

Yes, she came from a rescue but they freely admitted that they knew very little about her background because her original owners chose not to reveal anything!

I've just a call to say that our lovely lab rescue lady is collecting her tomorrow.

I know it's for the best but oh God ......................... sad

needastrongone Mon 13-May-13 21:42:42

Aww.... grieve a little but don't feel bad. You didn't give her up because you couldn't be bothered or she didn't fit your life anymore or your new wallpaper or something. You tried with the very best of intentions. Sounds like the initial owners did the damage.

Take care. x

doglover Mon 13-May-13 21:45:09

Thank you so much. We will miss her horribly but hope that she will be a happier hound .

twentyten Mon 13-May-13 21:53:34

My sympathies too. You are doing the right thing. Good luck

topbannana Tue 14-May-13 08:57:39

So sorry doglover but, similar to putting a much loved dog to sleep, it is often harder to do the right thing.
I once had a young lurcher dog PTS after a horrific sheep chasing episode that culminated in him ripping a ewes throat while she fought to get away (he was a chaser but had never showed a hint of that kind of aggression before, nor had he chased sheep) We took the decision that he was young and lived for his free running, something that would never be allowed again. He could not compete at agility, another of his great loves as shows are often held on farmland. The insurance co. revoked his 3rd party liability.
It was the hardest decision to PTS I have ever made but the vets agreed that the life he would have to lead if we kept him would be a half life. Rehoming was not really an option as kennels are full to bursting with lovely lurchers who cannot find a home, despite them not ripping sheep to bits.
Ultimately you and your family are dog people and you will not have made this decision lightly. It hurts but you are giving your girl a better chance of settling, and perhaps in time will be able to give your love to another rescue who fits your home and family better.
Thoughts are with you thanks

doglover Tue 14-May-13 12:32:05

Many thanks, TB. She will be going to live with a lab lady that she knows very well who is going to endeavour to sort out her separation anxiety issues with the longterm hope that she'll be able to be rehomed again.
The departure time is 4pm today so the dds will be able to say their goodbyes when returning from school. It's going to be horribly, terribly hard but I do absolutely know that we're doing the right thing.

Thank you to everyone who has responded to this thread and supported us.

twentyten Tue 14-May-13 16:44:25

You are doing the right thing. Hug.

doglover Tue 14-May-13 16:55:18

She's just gone. The house seems so still without our little whirlwind. We send her all our love for the future. xxx

Ullena Tue 14-May-13 18:20:01

Regarding the weight issue that some of you have mentioned, did any of your vets investigate the possibility of thyroid or pancreas problems? Colliedog is on meds now for pancreatic insufficiency, but he was a hat rack for a while!

happygardening Wed 15-May-13 09:13:43

Mine was investigated and it was negative it was possible she had cancer but we'll never know. I fed a dog that would normally weight about 10 kg 5 packets of tripe and 6 tins of dog food a day and other variations but always that revolting tripe. Her coat was beautiful her eyes bright and her nose wet all blood tests has been normal but despite this she was literally skeletal. The vet thought it was extreme stress. It was very sad.

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