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New puppy 2nd night worse than 1st, not sure I can do another night!

(16 Posts)
insicknessandinhealth Sun 31-Mar-13 08:51:34

We brought home our new puppy on Friday she is a miniature dachshund and adorable. I have put her bed and some newspaper in the kitchen and left her to cry the last two nights as breeder advised to leave and not go back to avoid creating bad habits. I realize this is one subject where there are lots of strong opinions on what is right and wrong, so perhaps I have gone the wrong route but should I continue this way or try something else? First night she cried and yelped but settled in between, for one or two hours at a time, but last night she rarely settled. I left the light on low in the kitchen and put a heat pad in her bed.

I did buy a crate to try but put it in the kitchen as an option the first night next to her bed but she pooed in it, so wasn't sure whether this would have confused the issue. Also my dh is disabled is only able to use one arm and our kitchen is quite small so lifting the crate out of the way would be a problem for him which was another reason why we had concluded that basket in the kitchen might be the best approach for us.

I don't know, I've now read so many things and after two nights of very little rest I'm not sure what to do for the best. She mainly wants to snuggle with us but slept most of yesterday evening in her basket happily in the living room with us. Perhaps I let her sleep too much in the evening? Beginning to wonder whether it would be so bad to have a dog that sleeps in our bedroom!!

If I try and get her into crate what could I do today to get her used to it? Was worried I wouldn't be able to hear her if she needed to go out but I've no worries that score now!

Booboostoo Sun 31-Mar-13 10:16:44

You need to approach this as two different things, crate training and sleep training.

Crate: make the crate the nicest place in the house, her bed/blanket should be in there, you should feed and give chews in there. The crate should be in the room you are in or at least within sight of where you are. Do not use a separate bed. Do not shut her in the crate for now, leave the door open until she gets used to it. For a mini dash you only need a tiny crate ( I would imagine a cat travelling box will do), the dog needs to be able to stand, turn around and lie down comfortably in the crate that is all. A crate that is too large will encourage the dog to use part of it as a toilet.

Sleep training: this is one of the fraught topics where people have different opinions. The puppy is used to sleeping with the litter and its mum so it's bound to be unsettled. If you leave her in the kitchen, make sure it's completely dark (circadian rhythms) and go back to let her out for toilet (you will start to recognise the different types of crying). If you OK with her sleeping in your bedroom then let her in the bedroom, nothing wrong with that unless you don't want it to become a habit in which case do not do it! Take the crate in the bedroom with you and hopefully she will settle in there but look out for her wanting the toilet. If she needs the toilet pick her up, take her out, praise her for going to the toilet and take her back to her bed without speaking.

Good luck and have loads of patience!

insicknessandinhealth Sun 31-Mar-13 10:43:42

Thanks so much for that. Okay will try that today with treats etc in the crate. We do have a carry case too that we brought her home in which is obviously much smaller. Also must switch the light off and get my dh to go toned when I do. He tends to stay up later and I expect she could still hear tv etc. So it is better to go back and let them out every so often to toilet rather than just leave them and not go back? So bit like children, just don't talk or play or give the idea it is anything other than a toilet break. And will that eventually get longer and longer and then they stop needing the loo at night altogether?

Notonaschoolnight Sun 31-Mar-13 11:13:22

Hi I was in your shoes last month, there's a thread from me I started at daft o clock on night 2 lying on a camp bed outside the kitchen door after listening to pup howl non stop for 2 hours and I was demented to the point of crying by night 3 to 5 I was in bed 10 till 3 then once I let her out at 3 for wee I stayed on settee with duvet for the 5am wee. Just so kids weren't disturbed by my comings and goings.

I also had comfy cage in kitchen with some newspaper on plastic on floor and newspaper at the doors ( no puppy pads just felt too wasteful buying stuff to be pooed on)after the next few weeks the night time trips reduced and I got a decent sleep.

And took her out for toileting what felt like every 5 mins in the minus temps which is still a work in progress she understands that's where she should go as she's only toileted in the house once this week, she's nearly 16 weeks now, but its still based on us taking her outside regularly and we've always used the word "quickly" so she knows what we're expecting her to do and it does work.

Notonaschoolnight Sun 31-Mar-13 11:15:43

Agree just like sleep training kids not fuss, no eye contact for me it was just " go quickly" and praise when she went then put back to bed

Branleuse Sun 31-Mar-13 11:16:48

most people i know with dogs have let their puppies sleep with them for the first few weeks

insicknessandinhealth Sun 31-Mar-13 12:34:08

Okay will look for that thread, thanks! I think I was hoping to avoid getting up and down in the night but perhaps that isn't possible!! Other thing I just thought of is their crate something you can move from room to room or is it something which should stay where it always is?

Branleuse that's how I felt last night but I feel that would be another habit to break.

Booboostoo Sun 31-Mar-13 14:42:53

You can move the crate everywhere you like, and properly secured it is also great for transporting the dog in the car. One of the good things with a crate is that you can take it with you on holiday, if you move house, etc.

If the puppy needs toilet you must take her out, if she is whinning for attention (and you decide this is the way to go) you ignore it, you just have to learn the different types of crying. It will be a while before she can hold her bladder for 8 hours and also she won't be able to regulate her faeces until a bit older (I assume she's around the 8 to 12 week age now?).

I would suggest that whatever you do start as you mean to go on. If you want her sleeping in the kitchen all her life, fight this battle now. If you let her in the bedroom you will only need to re-do this in a few weeks to move her into the kitchen.

Adaptil collars/diffusers are also great for settling puppies.

ChocoLatToBeLickedByMe Sun 31-Mar-13 14:49:28

I am in a minority but I just put my puppy in the crate at night, shut the door and wait for morning <mean dog owner>
He cried for 2 nights and then went through from half 10 till 7, occasionally if he's eaten cat poo he will have an accident in his crate. I always fed him in his crate (with the door open) and he has access to it all day, I don't move it around.

I like my sleep to much to be getting up a 2am to let my dogs out.
I have done this with all my dogs, my collie was the worst, she made a lot of noise, and I actually put my poor spaniel in the crate with her for a few nights, but after that she was fine.
I might have it easier though because My puppy is not completely alone and can see the other dogs sleeping.

insicknessandinhealth Sun 31-Mar-13 17:04:09

She is 12 weeks we picked her up a bit older as wanted the easter hols to help her settle in. At the moment I can't tell the difference between her cries so should I start by going in at set intervals? She cries and yelps and tries to get out of the door and last night that was most of the night so I would have been in and out a lot. Chocolat that is pretty much what the breeder told me to do, trouble is I'm not getting any sleep anyway!! It's too loud although my DS and DH seem to have no problem sleeping through it. Must be my supersonic mum hearing that can't let me relax!

needastrongone Sun 31-Mar-13 17:47:07

Our puppy is 5 months old. He sleeps in the kitchen and always has done. He is crated.

When we brought him home at 8 weeks, dh slept downstairs with him. Over the course of 3/4 nights he gradually moved a little further away each night. Then, we left dh's bedding downstairs for a few more nights so he had the familiar smell there.

We figured our little puppy had just been taken from his mum and litter mates into a strange house full of strange people and smells at such a young age. We just wanted to break him in gently without having him upstairs. He settled fine so this worked for us.

My only caveat is that he didn't seem to need the toilet at night very quickly, I think he whined once during the night in the first few weeks after we left him downstairs in his own so it was obvious what the issue was.

Good luck, the first few weeks are tough going tbh.

Floralnomad Sun 31-Mar-13 18:53:10

How was she overnight with the breeder as presumably her litter mates had all moved on at the 8/9 week stage ? Had the breeder not used a crate ? Has she come to you quite well advanced on the house training ?

insicknessandinhealth Sun 31-Mar-13 20:28:42

She was in a playpen with her sister whom breeder is keeping so they had a bigger area with a bed and toilet area for night. Breeder had started toilet training outside. We were going to recreate that at home with a playpen but it wouldn't fit into our kitchen. As the kitchen is quite small I thought she might take to that as her 'pen'. She has shown no interest in the crate at all and if her behavior is anything like when I shut her in the kitchen I would want to be nearby to reassure her. I'm really in two minds about this. I feel as if going back and forth to her would be a bit confusing and encourage her that this crying is rewarded by my appearance. Basically I am just emotional, knackered and can't face starting another method however, when I read up about crating before we got her it seemed like the most suitable thing for us as we will be taking her to a few different places and it sounds as if when it works it works like magic. But when I realized she had never been crated and also the fact that her brother Baxter whom secondhandrose has been posting about on the doghouse recently has not taken to crating at all I had second thoughts about it. And when the breeder said shut the door and don't go back I guess I latched onto that as my method of choice! Just reading this post back I've realized what my poor old garbled brain is grappling with grin.

Floralnomad Sun 31-Mar-13 21:34:31

I think ( but I'm no expert) that you need to make a decision and stick to it for a few days at least ,sometimes I do think people have a tendency to over think things ,lets face it people have been keeping dogs and house training them for ever so how hard can it be ! We got our pup at 15 weeks from Battersea , he originally had a very large crate overnight ,we went to bed very late 1ish and for the first couple of nights I sat outside the door and shushed him when necessary for an hour or so until he went to sleep . I must say he was clean overnight after the first couple of days despite it taking him a few weeks to get it during the day . I never put paper down as I think it gives the pup mixed messages about where it is acceptable to go . I also use go quickly as a command word ( and still do if I want him to go last thing or before I go out ) . Our dog never liked the crate and didnt use it during the day unless I was out ( he never voluntarily went in ) and at 6 months we did away with it and started leaving him in the hall with all the doors closed and a stair gate . His bed is still in the hall but he never uses it unless we are out or overnight because if he has a choice he sits on the setee. Only you know the best set up for your family and your house so make a decision and try to stick with it . Ps what did you decide to call her in the end ?

insicknessandinhealth Sun 31-Mar-13 21:45:01

Yes, you are quite right, that is me to a tee, overthinking things. I know that is what I think, people have been managing this for so long I wish I wasn't so conscientious about it in a way. Mum has been amused at me today going through all the options she just says say night night firmly, switch out the light and off you go for the night, she is an animal and she will cope in her own way. We called her Dixie!

Floralnomad Sun 31-Mar-13 22:01:53

I spend most of my life telling my husband he's either over thinking something or over engineering something and I think that makes me have a very simplistic approach to most things . I'm sure Dixie will get it soon !

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