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the award for most stupid dog owner goes to .....

(13 Posts)
pimmsgalore Sun 17-Mar-13 14:53:39


DD (5) just left a cupcake on a kiddie table in the playroom, then opened the door and allowed pimmsdog to get into the room. He is banned from the playroom so any chance to sneak in is quickly taken as there must be something in there that is exciting. Well there was, the cup cake. He jumped straight towards the table mouth open and (here is the stupid bit) I leapt towards the cup cake too and tried to pick it up before he got it.

Well of course he swallowed the cup cake in one bite and tried to eat my finger in the process. I am now sat with an ice pack on a finger that has a large purple bruise coming out on it, luckily he realised he had my finger and didn't bite hard so hasn't broken the skin.

Cheer me up with your similar stories of stupidity please. I did the one thing I always tell the DC not to do I went to take something that, as far as he was concerned, was his. blush

background : pimmsdog was starved and beaten before we got him so although he has improved over the year since we got him he is still very unreliable when it comes to stealing food

ruledbyheart Sun 17-Mar-13 17:51:00

A couple of years ago I had a foster dog who was mad as a hatter but absolutely lovely, anyway I had a load of snacks out for an evening in front of the telly, went for a cigarette and left the door open for dog to come out.

Instead of following me out dog grabbed my packet of chocolate brownies opened them and scoffed the lot.

Stupid me thought because they weren't open they would be safe, an emergency vet trip and a couple of hundred pounds later and a completely fine dog I always make sure things are out of reach.

Lifeisontheup Sun 17-Mar-13 18:25:44

I left a 12 week old border collie puppy alone in the kitchen with a 1.5l bottle of cooking oil. Result one very oily puppy and an ice rink of a kitchen floor. I was eight months pregnant at the time but what was I thinking of?

Puppy needed several washes but was then lovely and silky until the runs started, she ended up as clean inside as out.

poachedeggs Sun 17-Mar-13 19:39:28

tOh, where to start. In my early naive days of dog ownership mostly it was letting a new dog (Saluki!) off the lead and then spending literally hours wandering hill and dale to find it. This happened on numerous occasions, most memorably in blind drift one evening.

Same dog, over the years, has stolen more than one giant Toblerone, a whole tray of Green and Blacks brownies which were cooling, endless meals, a couple of chicken carcasses,a bag of yellow split peas and more lunchbox bananas than I can remember.

Different dog, got bored in the work car, ate the seatbelts.

That dog also bit me after I tried to force him to go out in the garden with another dog he was scared of. I had a lot to learn, poor thing has forgiven me though.

Everything that's gone wrong for me with dogs has been all my own fault.

The worst of it all is I'm a vet blush although I like to think I've learned from each and every mistake. Apart from persistently underestimating their thieving prowess, perhaps!

Whippoorwhill Tue 19-Mar-13 15:16:54

I left two retriever types in a room with an unopened sack of basmati rice. They not only ate the lot, they were spectacularly sick and then had diarrhoea which pretty much pebble-dashed the utility room.

We also had a few butter stealing incidents which led to very nasty, yellow, oily vomit everywhere and so when a dog shot past me with a pack of butter in it's mouth I tackled it, forced open it's mouth and removed the butter from halfway down it's throat before realising that it was the massively food aggressive one who would take on allcomers over a couple of crumbs on the floor. I was lucky to still have fingers... or hands!

TotallyBursar Tue 19-Mar-13 15:34:55

Ooh poor finger!

I have done loads of stupid things. I am very lucky to have had very understanding and forgiving dogs that don't hold these things against me.

The most involved stupid thing would have to be when we got our latest big dog. He was 3 And had never been fed properly, major theft issues. The first week he was home I left the bolt off the kitchen door as I was only popping to collect a glass. I had left no food at all out but had a buttery tea towel for the wash - he ate it. I walked in to him trying to suck it down, as he saw me he sped up, I grabbed opened and got my hand half swallowed for my efforts. Any other dog I'd have taken in for rads & probable ex- lap but he is literally a large bore tube between a mouth & an arsehole so chucked a load of chappie down his neck (obviously I monitored him v closely too). The next morning I was in the garden at 5.30 in the dark & frost following him around as he squat hopped around the garden while I pulled the neatly spiraled, shit encrusted tea towel from him like the world's worst conjuror.
All was well, I kicked myself thoroughly, he followed me through to the bin and stole a tin of mustard powder and swallowed the lot - I stood there like shock you are a twat TBursar, what are you? While he was sat there like this grin feeling nicely scoured & tingly.

He also had a rubber examination glove fetish and has had other dog walkers staring in horror as he shits a hand out one finger at a time. I don't mind as his poo is ready bagged, though admittedly disconcerting.
At 7 he's a good boy & we've come on together, but I'm very glad he forgave me for his escapades.

Primrose123 Tue 19-Mar-13 15:44:59

Poachedeggs I think I might know you! Are you German by any chance?

Frettchen Tue 19-Mar-13 16:07:21

Most of my biggest moments of canine stupidity have involved letting two of my brother's dogs off lead. One has a very high prey drive and a few times has been off like a shot, the other is a small black terrier who liked to disappear into the undergrowth, leaving me standing in the woods, shouting like an idiot. (This was years ago. I learnt pretty quickly to keep dogs on lead.)

Same dog, in a particularly scary moment. It was a good 4 or 5 years ago; I was still living with my mum, as was my brother. I returned home from work to find an empty house and this dog (whippet x staffie; whippet size with a staffie build.) was lying on the sofa, which was unusual for him, looking very concave and incredibly miserable. Beside the sofa, on the dog bed, was the biggest pile of vomit I'd ever seen. So I go into panic mode and, ascertaining he was still actually breathing, brought a bowl of water out to him. He drank, and seemed to come back to life a bit. So then I gave him a normal-sized potion of dinner (dry dog food) with some watery gravy on top. He ate it all up, then I was surprised when merely 10 minutes later he vomited the whole lot.

He's alive and well today, I feel I have to add!

A more amusing tale, although not so much at the time, was when I was teaching my own dog a few tricks. She's very good at giving her paw when asked. I was trying to teach her the rather gross 'kiss' where she effectively sniffs my face. Yeah; I'm one of those dog owners... blush Anyway, my lovely dog proceeded to paw me in the face rather enthusiastically. She's lab-sized. It hurt.

lotsofdogshere Thu 21-Mar-13 09:07:10

we were making christmas cakes, left the ingredients weighed out whilst answering the door, friends golden retriever scoffed the lot. I now know raisins etc are very bad for dogs - back as young women, we just laughed and cleaned up the mess. Ignorance can be bliss, the dog was absolutely fine. My spaniel was a real stealth thief and ate all the savoury side of food on the table, set out to celebrate my sisters 16th birthday. She left the trifle and cakes - i've always wondered why, maybe she was full.......

poachedeggs Thu 21-Mar-13 09:53:13

Not German primrose, no...!

topbannana Sat 23-Mar-13 22:45:09

I used to do working trials with my old rottie. She was required to sniff out and bring back very small items (shotgun cartridges, pieces of knotted twine etc) holding them in her mouth until told to "release"
We were practising the "hold" command and she had a plastic bottle cap in her mouth. I had been told to pop my fingers in the side of her mouth to prevent her dropping the cap on the floor.
She went to spit the cap out and I immediately, in my best Barbara Woodhouse voice, commanded "HOLD"
Tragically my finger was between her back teeth and she was very obedient hmm Not a mistake I ever made again smile

Bugsbasset Tue 26-Mar-13 22:22:55

30 years ago and still feel awful blush. 10am.

Gets baby in big pram and old English Sheepdog on leash to go to baby clinic and local shops .
Baby weighed and all fine smile and trots to shops for groceries. Ties up lovely gentle hairy dog. Parks pram outside shop [as you did then ] .
Chats and wanders home a happy mum .

5pm now at work on evening shift . Phone call from DH. Where is the dog?

Yup baby brain at its best . dog still at shops .

Thankfully ok and not stolen. I feel awful about it to this day . she got chicken for her tea and I never ever did it again

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Wed 27-Mar-13 13:28:13

He also had a rubber examination glove fetish and has had other dog walkers staring in horror as he shits a hand out one finger at a time. I don't mind as his poo is ready bagged, though admittedly disconcerting.

I have just laughed out loud and spat a bit of lunch at my phone. Brilliant.

Excellent name also, by the way. I thought about LibrarianPoo, if its not taken?

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