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DH wants to rehome puppy - how will it affect him?

(93 Posts)
AppleStroodles Sun 17-Feb-13 20:13:28

By him I mean puppy, not DH...

He is 10 months old and a labradoodle and is just lovely but DH would like to re home him due to excessive shedding (about half a carrier bag full every 2 days which he says it making DS's eczema worse), separation anxiety (can't be left alone for more than an hour) and nervousness (he wees everywhere whenever a man he doesn't know comes into the house)....

He has said we can keep him if it's going to upset me that much to re home him (it will) but is it fair to keep him when DH doesn't love/want him? I love him so much but I want him to be happy so I'm really torn.

He has been well socialised, has lots of friends and gets plenty of excercise. He is great with our DC and other dogs so I don't think it would be hard to find him a loving home, but how would re homing affect him?

I can't bear the thought of him being in kennels even for a night so would want to re home him to someone we know or someone close by where I know he will be happy, safe & loved.

needastrongone Sun 17-Feb-13 21:52:53

Love and patience seems to work well working mum, the slightest hint of frustration on my part and our puppy can sense it, he will work for quite a time if he senses my enthusiasm, said enthusiasm wore slightly thin after extracting the 17th piece of horse manure from his mouth today on our walk!!

Seriously, dh has bad asthma. Most thought we were really stupid getting a dog. Dh insisted not. Took about two of three weeks, but now he doesn't react at all to him. Although, I groom the puppy daily and will keep his fur short. Our gp suggested its quite normal to get used to your own dog, although other dogs will still be a trigger.

frustratedworkingmum Sun 17-Feb-13 21:55:11

This is one of the reasons i am anti designer dog, no registration, much more likely to get irresponsible breeding, cashing in on peoples desires for specific aspects of a dog.

needastrongone Sun 17-Feb-13 21:56:55

Wouldn't be kc registered as labradoodle is a cross breed essentially?

TheSecondComing Sun 17-Feb-13 21:57:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TwelveLeggedWalk Sun 17-Feb-13 21:57:11

Oh, and anyone thinking of getting a doodle, spoodle, or any other cross, check out HERE first.

MyHeadWasInTheSandNowNot Sun 17-Feb-13 21:58:56

I would also get his eyes checked. We had a dog with separation anxiety all her life - no amount of training or taking her to the doggy psyc helped, when she got older her eyes were checked because she had cataracts and we found out she had a problem with her retinas, the vet said it could have been responsible for her separation anxiety sad

He sounds adorable - I don't know how you go about it, but I think you need to get your DS checked with your dog and see if it is causing his excema to be worse or not. Do you think if you prove it isn't, your DH will be happy for the pup to stay and will go back to adoring him? I think your DH is just in 'problem solving mode', prioritising your DS (naturally) and pragmatically suggesting re-homing the dog and distancing himself from him.

frustratedworkingmum Sun 17-Feb-13 21:59:49

absolutely needsastrongone, which is why all of these backyard breeders are onto such a good earner. It takes GENERATIONS before you will have true breeding, the genetics are complex and it will take YEARS before you can "design" a dog that doesn't shed and garuntee this trait. Unless of course you can identify which genes are involved in shdding/not shedding and genetically modify accordingly .

daisydotandgertie Sun 17-Feb-13 22:01:00

Of course she wasn't a proper, registered breeder.

A labradoodle is a cross breed and not recognised by the kennel club, therefore he cannot possibly have come from a good, responsible breeder. Cross breeds like these are fashionable money spinners and in many instances are badly bred.

Rehoming a dog should always be a last resort, IMO. Not just because your DH is ambivalent. You made a life long commitment to your puppy when you bought it and to me, that means you just don't dump it on someone else. Work through the dog's problems. They will be fixable, he is too young to have them ingrained in him yet. The skin problem for your DS isn't proven and could well be a red herring.

Rehoming centres are overflowing with beautiful dogs whose owners have dumped for someone else to sort out. Their resources are not infinite.

TwelveLeggedWalk Sun 17-Feb-13 22:01:20

Oh, and yes you would not expect a labradoodle dam/sire to be kc registered unless they were first generation - i.e the Labrador or Poodle. Labradoodles are cross-breeds so not KC eligible.

BUT kc registration is NO guarrantee of responsible breeding. Better to look for things like strict limits on the number of litters each bitch has/chance to meet pup with at least one parent in home environment/stringent health checks (hips and eyes esp with doodles) on breeding dogs/thorough to the point of nosiness questions about you, your work and family life etc

ithaka Sun 17-Feb-13 22:01:28

My DH doesn't like my dog. That's life. He is 12 now, we had him from a puppy. I know DH keeps hoping he will die soon, but he just keeps going, getting smellier and grumpier. That is family life - you all just rub along and DH's occasional whinges about the dog are water off a duck's back to me. I wish DH didn't play stupid computer games, but there you go. You can't go through a marriage never doing anything that annoys your partner (DH& I have been together for 20 years by the way, so the dog thing is certainly not marriage wrecking).

MechanicalTheatre Sun 17-Feb-13 22:03:10

Are you interested in advice for how to make this workable?

Or do you just want to rehome?

poodletip Sun 17-Feb-13 22:18:53

If the dog is really affecting your son's health then you should re-home or your son will be suffering for years. I'm not sure how you could prove it one way or another though. Please re-home responsibly if you do, through the breed rescue would be a good way to do it.

If you forget the health issue then no I don't think there is any need to re-home the dog just because your DH doesn't love him. As long as he is loved and cared for by someone then it's pretty irrelevant tbh.

What I would do though is address the issues he has, especially the nervousness. You need the vet to refer you to a member of the APBC they will take a full history and advise accordingly. As for the shedding that can be minimised by getting the dog clipped. I get my dog clipped off every summer to keep him cool even though he is a breed that is not normally clipped. A bonus effect when it is done is the reduction in hair around the house! You can always get a coat for the dog to wear when it is cold and it would make it much easier to live with him.

LadyTurmoil Sun 17-Feb-13 22:57:01

I think there are a lot of things going on and you need to think it through and prioritise:
1. Have you seen a continual worsening and/or more frequent, serious flare ups with your DS's eczema? To anybody here who doesn't know about eczema, it's awful, to be itching and scratching until you bleed, your skin feels so tight and horrible that you wish you could shed it like a snake, so DO NOT trivialise it, please.
2. Is the shedding the biggest problem (whether or not connected to your sin's eczema - do you think it's something you can do more about? Sure you're doing everything possible already...
3. I'm sure you could improve on other problems with help of a good trainer (which I'm sure you'd find with help of MN!)
4. Sounds good idea to talk to Labradoodle Trust anyway - they may be able to advise on trainers as well.
Wishing you good luck.

merrymouse Mon 18-Feb-13 05:35:16

Does your DH really want to rehome the dog, or is he just going through a bit of an adjustment period now that you have a dog rather than a puppy?

frustratedworkingmum Mon 18-Feb-13 08:18:45

Not trivialising eczema at all - but the OP could have allergen testing done to find out if he dog is making it worse. Might be expensive though, but then i suppose if you can afford a labradoodle, you can afford to have the child and dog tested to see if it worsens her sons condition. Those dogs are stupidly expensive, for what effectively is a mongrel.

lotsofdogshere Mon 18-Feb-13 08:35:13

Another recommendation for the Labradoodle Trust. 10 months is a very common age for dogs to need rehoming. Labradoodles are generally lovely, gentle dogs, but there are so many myths about them - they usually shed, are definitely not for people with allergies, and are usually very bouncy dogs who need a lot of physical and mental exercise. Speak to the trust, you'll get good support and advice about your doodle. If you do decide to rehome, the dog will be placed with foster carers and when ready, moved onto adoption after matching with the right family. BUT so many doodles and poodle crosses are being rejected by owners, it is sometimes necessary to wait for a vacancy with a suitable foster carer. good luck in finding a solution

greyvix Mon 18-Feb-13 09:38:42

Re the weeing, our dog used to do that, and still does occasionally with people she loves and doesn't see very often. We assumed it was excitement. We just put her outside, and the visitor greets her on the patio.
OP, I sympathise. My DH ignored our dog for the first year, but loves her now. The separation anxiety must be difficult, especially when the neighbours complain.

Lilibel Mon 18-Feb-13 11:58:28

I hate when poodle crosses get slated!!! I have a 16 month old cockapoo. She's as mad as a hatter, but is extremely well behaved; can recall from any distance; has never had a toilet accident; adores everybody; has a range of party tricks smile OK, so I paid a significant amount of money for her, but that was my choice. Both her parents were KC registered, and PRA tested. She is definitely the dog of a lifetime, and I wouldn't hesitate to recommend the cross to an active person. Any dog is only as good as the time put in by the owner.

My DH wasn't mad keen on our dog for the first year. Puppies are hard work. Now he's 19 months old, DH actually enjoys him. DS2 has eczema, and when we first got the dog he did have a flare up. It has stabilised since, but it helps massively to have hard flooring which can be swept/mopped daily and the dog isn't allowed upstairs. Actually, everyone but me was mildly allergic to the dog initially, but are now able to cuddle and roll around the floor with him with no ill effects. There was an adjustment period. I groom the dog regularly, too, to keep any allergens to a minimum.

Sulawesi Mon 18-Feb-13 12:30:33

My dog is 10 months old and yes they are very hard work at this time, bit like toddlers, maximum energy but no sense whatsoever!

Hard flooring for the dog and he's not allowed anywhere near soft furnishings, much easier to keep clean and hair free (relatively).

Agree re clipping that would make massive difference.

Worrying re him being afraid of men, can you get a behaviourist in to assess or help with this?

I don't agree that rehoming would traumatise him forever, he is a young dog and would adapt easily. Mine goes off to the dog sitter without a backward glance. The problem is finding that good home of course.

Did you ring the Labradoodle Trust OP?

needastrongone Mon 18-Feb-13 12:58:51

Not sure that anybody is slating the dogs themselves and your breeder sounds very responsible Lilibel, but there's a shed load of money to be made from these designer 'breeds', they are big business. People are making a packet from selling what is essentially a cross breed for hundreds of pounds.

I wager a guess that my pedigree Springer, who I paid a premium £450 for, given we were extremely careful about selecting a breeder, didn't cost as much as your dog and he was at the expensive end of the spectrum! That galls me somewhat, not your very particular circumstance but the whole industry.

needastrongone Mon 18-Feb-13 13:01:30

Again, I am not making a judgement about you specifically honest(!!) but why didn't you choose a poodle or cocker? Not my business at all but it does interest me why people don't choose one or other breed.

D0oinMeCleanin Mon 18-Feb-13 13:22:39

i assume you've already considered grooming and clipping the dog? it's just you've not mentioned it. i hope that is because it is such an obvious thing to do.

needastrongone Mon 18-Feb-13 13:24:01

Also, assume that your breeder bred to keep one of the litter Lilibel, which would be the only responsible reason to breed, regardless of cross or straight pedigree etc? The mother of our Springer has already been spayed, having had the one litter, who the breeder wished to keep a puppy from (as she did her mother and grandmother, who they still have).

Otherwise, then yes, they were doing for money however responsible smile

Labradorlover Mon 18-Feb-13 13:29:20

You could try Petal Cleanse lotion, as well as clipping for the eczema. Second the suggestion for Dap/Adaptil, combined with training, to help with seperation anxiety.

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