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DH wants to rehome puppy - how will it affect him?

(93 Posts)
AppleStroodles Sun 17-Feb-13 20:13:28

By him I mean puppy, not DH...

He is 10 months old and a labradoodle and is just lovely but DH would like to re home him due to excessive shedding (about half a carrier bag full every 2 days which he says it making DS's eczema worse), separation anxiety (can't be left alone for more than an hour) and nervousness (he wees everywhere whenever a man he doesn't know comes into the house)....

He has said we can keep him if it's going to upset me that much to re home him (it will) but is it fair to keep him when DH doesn't love/want him? I love him so much but I want him to be happy so I'm really torn.

He has been well socialised, has lots of friends and gets plenty of excercise. He is great with our DC and other dogs so I don't think it would be hard to find him a loving home, but how would re homing affect him?

I can't bear the thought of him being in kennels even for a night so would want to re home him to someone we know or someone close by where I know he will be happy, safe & loved.

BeerTricksPotter Sun 17-Feb-13 20:32:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Floralnomad Sun 17-Feb-13 20:39:27

Is the shedding making your sons eczema worse? Did your husband want the dog originally ? Personally I'd rehome my husband before my dog went anywhere . The separation anxiety can be worked on , have the dog clipped really regularly to reduce the hair issue and introduce him to the men outside on a lead before they come in .

AppleStroodles Sun 17-Feb-13 20:50:33

I'm not sure if it is making his eczema worse or if it is a coincidence.
I wanted the dog, DH warmed to the idea after a few months. I was brought up with dogs but DH has never been around animals before.
He's never been aggressive to our dog, he liked him at first but is now just indifferent.

Do you think rehoming would badly affect our dog or do you think it would be worse to keep him when DH doesn't want him? sad

DH says he's a dog and will be happy wherever he is fed & gets attention... hmm

needastrongone Sun 17-Feb-13 20:51:48

Oh gosh, what a horrible situation. Hope you are ok.... Is there anything else going on in your life that is causing stress for your dh and he is focusing on your dog as an outlet? Did he want the puppy originally?

Does he interact and bond with your puppy? Could you encourage that? Clipping and grooming will help with the shedding, we have a springer puppy and dh has asthma, tbh he has got used to the dog and is no longer affected but I brush our puppy with a zoom groom daily.

How would dc feel about a re-home? Would you be able to accept a rehome without resentment?

No dog is worth a solid marriage but that assumes no other underlying issues. I had norovirus when we got our puppy and was hospitalised, it took weeks for me to get over it and I struggled with the puppy as I was so wiped out in general. Dh made it clear he loved the puppy but never more than he did me, so I would come first. Now, I can't imagine life without our dog but I wasn't in a position to think clearly at the time.

Good luck, hope you are ok and it works out.

Sulawesi Sun 17-Feb-13 20:53:14

Is it causing massive problems between you?

zookeeper Sun 17-Feb-13 20:54:16

I thought labradoodles didn't shed?

frustratedworkingmum Sun 17-Feb-13 20:55:24

Id be rehoming the DH rather than the dog! He is nervous of men? I wonder why?

I think that it is a disgusting thing to do actually - yes it absolutely WILL affect the dog, your DH shows how little he knows by saying that "he's a dog" - prat!

Firstly, what makes you so sure you will be ABLE to rehome your dog? There is trouble finding homes for dogs without the issues that you and your DH have given him.

Would love to see the look on the dogs home persons face when you cite XS shedding on your reason to rehome? You got a dog when you knew your DS had eczema?

Im sorry if you wanted to be made to feel better, but its a fucking shitty thing to do and will possible end up with your dog being put to sleep.

frustratedworkingmum Sun 17-Feb-13 20:56:18

zookeeper, that is a misconception that many people have, SOME labardoodles don't shed, many do though.

needastrongone Sun 17-Feb-13 20:56:23

Not sure what you mean by separation anxiety? If a dog is left for an hour usually they are ok to be left longer but not an expert. Does he get distressed before then? Is he crate trained?

The things you mentioned are all sortable with training, honest.

MechanicalTheatre Sun 17-Feb-13 20:57:19

I think you are setting a really bad example for your children if you get rid of a dog because you've decided it doesn't suit you after all.

If you do decide to rehome, please don't get another one in a few years.

AppleStroodles Sun 17-Feb-13 20:58:40

Thanks guys, I'm okay, he is curled up next to me asleep!

Our marriage is good and it's not causing problems between us, DH has said that if it will upset me that much I can keep the dog but he already resents him and I'm sure he (our dog) picks up on that.

I just want him to be really wanted by everyone, not just me, he deserves that, he is such a gentle & happy soul.

Branleuse Sun 17-Feb-13 20:59:18

Do you think if your dog was properly trained he would like it?

Its tricky though, if its making your sons eczema worse, id rehome the puppy

zookeeper Sun 17-Feb-13 20:59:25

frustrated, surely some dogs are ok for people with excema?

(sorry for thread hikack op)

needastrongone Sun 17-Feb-13 20:59:26

I'm sure op feels pretty shit anyway working mum, without being reminded, she's posted for some advice. Sounds like she's having a shite time generally.

zookeeper Sun 17-Feb-13 20:59:53

excema, even

zookeeper Sun 17-Feb-13 21:03:35

aaaaargh! eczema

TwelveLeggedWalk Sun 17-Feb-13 21:04:09

The people you need to speak to are here Labradoodle Trust
They will rehome responsibly (a friend's parents have one of their dogs and it's worked out brilliantly) and advise you on possible options.

needastrongone Sun 17-Feb-13 21:05:58

Training is a great idea. I love training our puppy but hadnt expected dh to love it too, poor sod crawls into bed at night with a look of desperation on his face, 'no more, please'!!

I have taught him to lay dead with the word bang this week, dh thinks its hilarious. Puppy has forgotten all other training at his awesomeness at this trick but its helped bond even further if you understand??

frustratedworkingmum Sun 17-Feb-13 21:08:20

I guess it depends what the child has an allergy to, but just because a dog doesn't shed doesn't mean it wont cause an allergy. Its a difficult call. But this isn't about that really, they have just decided that the dog is too much like hard work from what i can see.

needsastrongone I don't knwo what you want me to say - I would like to say "dont worry OP, rehome your dog, there will be people queuing to take him on and give him a loving home" but the reality is that is very unlikely. The "gentle and happy soul" already has anxiety and nervousness issues around men - this is not a natural behaviour, it will have had to come from somewhere. The reality is that a dogshome will struggle to rehome this dog as it already has issues - they struggle to rehome dogs with no behavioural issues. So the likelihood is that the OP will rehome it to a "friend" who wont be able to cope with the behaviours and pass him on, the behaviours will get worse and the cycle will continue - the dog WILL be affected. That is the best scenario - the worst scenario (but probably the more likely one) is that the dog will spend months in kennels and may end up being put to sleep. So no, im not going to pat her hand and ease her guilt.

If my DP did this, it would make me reassess him as a person and id have to quesstion if i wanted to be with him.

TheSecondComing Sun 17-Feb-13 21:08:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AppleStroodles Sun 17-Feb-13 21:09:42

Do you think re homing is the best option for him though?

We have had help from the vet who is a behaviorist for his separation anxiety but he still howls and barks when we go out and the neighbours complain to DH.

AppleStroodles Sun 17-Feb-13 21:11:26

Thanks, I will call and talk it through with the labradoodle trust tomorrow and see what they think

TwelveLeggedWalk Sun 17-Feb-13 21:11:35

Hmm, that sounds like I'm pro-rehoming. I'd normally be loathe to suggest putting any dog into rescue, but a fundamentally happy healthy young labradoodle, carefully rehomed through breed rescue, probably has about as good a chance of finding a good second home of any dog.

The preferred option of course would be to find a reputable trainer (loads of threads in Doghouse on how to do this) and work on the behaviour issues yourself. Just because some doodles shed (and ours does, copiously) does not necessarily mean they are allergen triggers (just as because some do not shed means they are hypoallergenic) - it all depends on the particular dog, and to a degree, on the particular human. How sure are you about the excema link?

Please don't try and rehome privately. The dog obviously has some behaviour issues and doodles are quite vulnerable to appealing to the wrong type of owners (puppy farmers, those wanting 'accessory' dogs etc).

TheSecondComing Sun 17-Feb-13 21:15:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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