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Bastard Dog Club

(247 Posts)

Roll up, roll up! Anyone who has a Bastard Dog sign in here! Does your dog hate other dogs? Does he or she bark, lunge, growl or actually want to eat other canines? Are you regularly stressed, embarassed or rocking in a corner by your Bastard Dog's antics? Then this is your safe zone. Come hither and share your tales of woe, and also hopefully your successes.

Give us some background, thus:

BD breed: Spaniel cross
BD age: 18 months
BD behaviour: Jumps at approaching dogs and tells them to fuck off in a very vocal way.
BD training attempts: We're working on BAT, using tons of treats and actively avoiding interactions.
Frequency of BD incidents: Probably some kind of reaction every month or so, usually my fault.

Now, who's for gin? <profers bottle>

AdoraBell Sat 02-Feb-13 01:58:39

My luffly mountain of a German shepherd hurt me today, so he had Temporary Bastard status.

Wasn't his fault though. Had to chain him sad to let a bloke in protective suit, goggles and breathing mask (they love that look, my dogs) fumigate the house. Then had to move dogs and my teddy bear thought he was going walkies and went for it. Twisted my ankle good and proper, he did.

He's gorgeous really though, usually only wants to kill dogs who try to get into his garden. Oh, and pee on any visistor's car wheels. Not a real Bastard Dog at all.

TessTing123 Sat 02-Feb-13 07:56:16

My Bastard Dog has heard a rumour that I would like her to stop bark bark bark barking and waking the baby every day twice a day and at various points all through the night, so this morning she thoughtfully leapt the bab gate and went and JUMPED ON THE SLEEPING BABY instead.

GooseEnthusiast Sat 02-Feb-13 08:21:46

Ooh, can I join?
BD Breed - German Shephard
Age - 10 months
Behaviour - will chew anything in sight, including clothing, kitchen utensils, shoes, books, sponges and the cat confused Barks and lunges at some other dogs - there appears to be no reason why chooses to bark at certain dogs hmm
Training - She has excellent recall so she gets called back and sat next to me before treats are forthcoming (and then carries on barking from a distance until the enemy is out of sight).
Plus points - she loves me and will give me a cuddle whenever I want one. She grins at me. Her recall has been brill, she responded to her name straight away and has never ignored it. I love her smile

punter Sat 02-Feb-13 09:14:08

Joining in please (so glad to meet up)

Golden Lab 5 months old
Loves everyone especially small children which can be difficult when they scream and howl.
Sits and waits to meet other dogs who are off lead, owners think what a well behaved puppy, then he rushes at their dog, quickly turns and greets (ie tries to get on their shoulders) owner who probably smells of treats
Picks up every bit of rubbish on the pavement and redistributes it in someone's driveway
Pretends to be starving all the time
Does not bear comparison with previous rescue dog (now gone to dog heaven) according to DH, rescue dog was a saint and did everything perfectly apparently (my memory is somewhat different)
But he makes wonderful hot water bottle in the evening wrapped around me and snoring like a pig.
Time for a walk (drag on lead)

ClaimedByMe Sat 02-Feb-13 09:49:38

Today is Saturday, DP is off work, today BD is his responsibility, heehee!!

Claimed, I like your style.

almostanotherday Sat 02-Feb-13 10:31:58

Breed-border x pug
She barks at everything and everyone! The vet said to ignore the barking hmm

bergedorf Sat 02-Feb-13 11:04:53

Can I join too??

I find it hard to find the funny side sometimes and I Need a thread like this to help me get some perspective!

Breed: miniature schnauzer
Age: almost 7 months
Behaviour: hysterical barking was my biggest problem, till she started snapping. She has recently come into season though, so am Hoping the snapping is a temporary hormone thing.

Training: calming everything right down. No visitors, walks in lonely places, tape over front doorbell, children instructed to be quiet and no running...

Oh my. It's hardsad

There. I told you I was having problems seeing the funny side.


Oh bergedorf sad That does sound tough. Are you attending any puppy classes with her? Sometimes you need a professional type to give you a hand. I took my dog to training classes and then had a behaviourist in to give me some advice. It really helped <sneaky hug>

My BD has excelled himself this morning, by pulling DH over on his morning walk. To be fair, it was icy, and Jas did stop as soon as heard the big human crash to the ground in an explosion of profanities. He then licked the big person a bit before sighing deeply at the shitness of being a biped.

littlewhitebag Sat 02-Feb-13 12:24:05

My BD:

9 month old golden lab:

Hates her control lead and tries to get it off at any opportunity - now has a permanently pink bit on end of nose from doing this.

Barks at anyone who walks remotely near our house in an attempt to be a guard dog then rolls over and presents tummy if someone actually comes to the house.

Has zero recall if another dog is in the vicinity.

Is trying to dig an escape route out of he garden so our grass looks literally as if bombs have been dropped on it.

Wakes too early and whines to get out.

Eats small rodents when out on walks (well chews them then rubs herself all over the mushy little body - gross)

Plus sides:
Cute, cute cute - big brown soppy eye and soft silky ears. She is also good for resting feet on when watching TV.

Ddog2 is a bit of a BastardDog.

BD breed - lab-pointer cross (we think - she's a rescue dog, the Dogs' Trust billed her as lab cross).

BD behaviour - barking at anything and anyone who dares to approach our house, or any of the neighbours' houses (even the neighbours are not allowed to drive/walk up their own drives) or goes past our house. Thankfully we live in a cul de sac, so there is not too much traffic.

She loves dh. He is hers, and hers alone. She gets a real face on her if he talks to or plays with ddog1, and if dh and I attempt to have a cuddle, she will insinuate herself between us and wiggle her bony bum until she is the centre of attention.

She has awful habits - her finest moment was rolling in half a dear, runny seal,on the beach - and dh had taken them to the beach on the train so he had to take her home on the train too! She stunk so badly even ddog1 - a lab, so has equally low tastes and standards - didn't want to sit near her!

Training - I have tried to teach 'no barking' as a command - telling her no barking and rewarding her when she stops barking. It hasn't worked yet.

Good points - very affectionate and very bright. Good recall. Doesn't go for other dogs, but will growl or bark at them. Runs like the wind.

TaggieCampbellBlack Sat 02-Feb-13 13:41:14

Bastard Dog has emptied the bathroom bin.

I also have Bastard Teenage Girls.

Ew ew ew.


Taggie, you've earned a wine

clam Sat 02-Feb-13 14:01:57

Taggie My BD has been there, sniffed that, deposited the contents all over the landing and got the T shirt! Nice.

Floralnomad Sat 02-Feb-13 14:05:32

This is one of the many reasons we have a stair gate! Hope it didn't eat anything too manky , my BD is currently laying on the setee watching the rugby.

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM Sat 02-Feb-13 14:19:11

My semi BD once discovered a 'toy' that she proceeded to take from it's hiding place in a box under my bed and play/chew it to death in the living room.

This happened the same day that my mum decided to call in to use the bathroom (she works from her car, was in my area) and I didn't get home until much later.

Now THAT was embarrassing.

<dies a little bit more inside at the memory>

<wonders how I can supress that memory>

Well - I definitely wouldn't go mentioning said embarrassing memory on a site full of people with everlastingly long memories for such things, BrianCox! grin

Oh, Brian <shakes head> School girl error, that <adds info to spreadsheet>

AdoraBell Sat 02-Feb-13 15:46:11

Claimed my OH has been away on business for two fucking weeks, he's going to be busy tomorrow as it was his idea to buy two more Bastard Puppies in addition to the 2 wonderful Bastard Dogs we already hadgrin.

ClaimedByMe Sat 02-Feb-13 15:56:15

My OH is contemplating a 3 week on 3 week off job in Shetland, leaving me with BD, 2 dc, 3 cats and 3 guinea pigs he will not be resting on those 3 weeks off!!

BD has just outdone herself with a BBL (bastard black lab) it was running off lead on the grassy area infront of our house playing fetch when dp came back from walkies with BD BBL came over to sniff BD's backside but being an anti social BD she sat down, BBL was not doing recall when being called, DP had BD by the lead and BBL by the collar until BBL owner came and get it, she was apologising, when BBL was being dragged away BD then tried to bite its back leg, we have had issues in the past with this BBL, BD does not like him!

gymmummy64 Sat 02-Feb-13 16:08:07

Today for the first time ever my BD was better behaved than another BD, I was so proud of him grin Pride in my canine is quite a new experience for me! The other BD was lunging, barking, snapping and we walked past without any reaction eating sausage. Amazing. I thought I could even detect a slight look of superiority on BD's face wink

We are clearly lined up for a major fall next week..

Imsosorryalan Sat 02-Feb-13 16:14:50

Please let me in, my dog is defiantly very bastardly!

Bd breed- a mix of all sorts of Romanian dogs
Age- 7 'Kevin' months
Bd behaviour- you name it. Dog aggressive, people aggressive, fear aggressive of men in particular, hates car journeys, hates walks near any traffic, barks and growls and snaps at visitors in our house.
Bd training - sessions with behaviourist, currently dealing with visitors in house by crating with treat and saying NO firmly when growling and barking.

Just started bronze puppy training ( in hope of some doggy socialisation) < but really to show other puppy owners how lucky they are>

Forgot to mention terrible recall, counter surfing and eating kids toys and my very expensive boots whenever she gets the chance...

magnolia74 Sat 02-Feb-13 16:17:36

I'm joining!!

BD Breed: springer x staffie
BD Age: 9 (I have no idea how she has got to this age!!!)
BD Behaviour: hates every single dog on the planet, fear aggressive although has never bitten. Can't see a dog even miles away (not literally!) without having a horrendous reaction. Pees on the floor if dh shouts, or if anyone she doesn't know tries to say hello, or if we are too nice to her hmm
Anything that is within reach in the kitchen is hers to take to bed and destroy!!
Empties every bin in the house
Pretends to like the cat then snaps...... Poor stupid cat
BD Training: nothing works so we are after dark walkers only sad

Oh gym, you know it <experience talking>

Cuebill Sat 02-Feb-13 16:31:48

Ok I must be having a humour bypass but ALL of these issues can be resolved with time patience and correct training. <rather than stealth boasting as to who has the worst dog>

Contact APDT trainers in you areas and all these behaviours can be changed

<hides thread and de registers>

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