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Bastard Dog Club

(247 Posts)
ChickensHaveNoEyebrows Fri 01-Feb-13 11:14:44

Roll up, roll up! Anyone who has a Bastard Dog sign in here! Does your dog hate other dogs? Does he or she bark, lunge, growl or actually want to eat other canines? Are you regularly stressed, embarassed or rocking in a corner by your Bastard Dog's antics? Then this is your safe zone. Come hither and share your tales of woe, and also hopefully your successes.

Give us some background, thus:

BD breed: Spaniel cross
BD age: 18 months
BD behaviour: Jumps at approaching dogs and tells them to fuck off in a very vocal way.
BD training attempts: We're working on BAT, using tons of treats and actively avoiding interactions.
Frequency of BD incidents: Probably some kind of reaction every month or so, usually my fault.

Now, who's for gin? <profers bottle>

flirtymary Fri 01-Feb-13 15:50:21

Oh my goodness, if ever there was a thread meant for me, this is it grin

BD Breed- Mixed and mixed some more

BD Age- estimated at 4 (rescued street dog so that is based on his teeth)

BD behaviour- Hates and tries to murder all:-
-dogs in ANY form including plastic bags, boxes or other refuse that might be another dog including a white stone in a rockery in a front garden every bastard morning...

Whilst on the lead dragging me through hedges, shrubs and fences and getting himself tied up around trees daily

Getting banned from dog obedience classes for weeing on all the jumps

Biting the hand of the too strict behaviourist who told us we weren't laying down the law enough with him

Farting horribly when on the sofa and then jumping off onto the floor leaving me and DH getting fumigated alone.

Secretly pushing us over in the night with his back legs so he cantake up most of the bed so that DH and I wake up jammed together on the final 1/4 of the mattress....

I could go on...

MumaBex Fri 01-Feb-13 15:54:41

BD breed - Cocker Spaniel
BD age - 1
BD behaviour - She has no real problems with dogs other than with little black ones (as she nearly had her nose taken off by one). incontinent -well she holds it when she is in her bed, but if i leave the room and look back at her she will instantly piss and poo on the floor. She destroys EVERYTHING! Latest thing the sofa (not the edge like most chewy dogs, but the middle of the cushions you sit on). When walking she hates being on the lead and if you let her off she will just go and do whatever she wants, which most of the time is run into the road to see the cars!

Plus points - she is good with our little boy. good looking bitch and enjoys cuddles.

ditavonteesed Fri 01-Feb-13 15:54:44

bd breed - border terrier
bd age - 3
bd behaviour - hates other dogs, expect labs and spaniels for no apparent reason they are exempt from her hatred.
bd training - tried dog clubs etc but they were too much for her, now have perfected recall and she is clipped on and walked past any other dogs while jealously watching her brother play, is regularly told she could play too if she wasnt such a bastard.
bd incidents - never any more as she is always on lead around other dogs.

But, she is so cute and every person that has ever met her loves her even if they hate dogs.

groovejet Fri 01-Feb-13 16:29:01

bd breed - cavalier
bd age - almost a year
bd behaviour - will wait until I think he has achieved good recall and then bomb the full length of the park to see another dog or interesting looking person. Hates the rain, ran off over a huge field to seek shelter under a tree when we got caught out in a heavy shower.
bd training - usually good at training unless it has been wet then will refuse to sit or lie down and convinces everybody that he is a pampered dog unlike their more hardcore breeds.

plus points - he is very chilled out in the house and loves cuddling up to me.

kitsmummy Fri 01-Feb-13 16:35:49

BD1 breed -pug x french bulldog
BD1 age - 2
BD1 behaviour - bloody barking at any dog or person she can see from our house. Running up to and barking at any dog she meets on walks. Sounding agressive, although I think it's actually fear. Going nuts at any dog/person she can see when she's in the car. At home, she's the best, most lovely dog ever with an amazing temperament.
BD1 training - puppy classes, walks once a week for a year with a dog walker and loads of other dogs (also daily walks with me obviously). Now seeing a dog behaviourist tomorrow!
Frequency - every time she sees another dog! (apart from BD2)

BD2 breed - boxer x border terrier
BD2 age - 8 months
BD2 behaviour - barking at everything and everyone (behaviour learnt from BD1 as she didn't do this when we first had her from rescue sad)
BD2 training - puppy classes and a little amount of clicker training from me which she picks up brilliantly. I'm going to use behaviourists methods on BD2 also.
BD2 frequency - again, everytime she sees any dog/person (but very people friendly once she can get to them. She's a little big scared of other dogs but there is no agression there.)

I properly love both my dogs but I think I'm a fairly rubbish owner in terms of realising their issues and knowing how to deal with it appropriately, as they both obviously weren't born like this.

DreamsTurnToGoldDust Fri 01-Feb-13 16:47:03

BD1 breed - Beagle
BD1 age - anywhere between 8 - 13, vet cant decide as Rescue dog and teeth missing
BD1 behaviour - steals food from everywhere, always on the hunt, turn your back for one nano second and its gone - sandwich -cakes -crisps - roast dinner -BD2s dinner - anything. Howls with excitement when the lead comes out, and I mean howl. Thinks shes a lap dog shes fat, heavy and massive but still tries to sit on you. Bad breath, will knock you out at 50ft due to eating poo.
BD1 Training - when we got her she couldnt even walk on a lead and it took 24 hours to get her out from under out bed as she was so scared, so training done by us, shes fab now apart from the food.
BD1 frequency - constant!

BD2 breed - Pugalier
BD2 age - 5
BD2 behaviour - shes actually quite good apart from humping the cat and barking at any noise, people who come to the door are scared when they see her but I`m afraid BD2 laugh when they see you.
BD2 frequency - nightly shag and everytime the door goes or dog comes on telly.
BD2 Training - puppy classes when she was little.

Yeah love them both really.

mum47 Fri 01-Feb-13 16:58:13

smile Dreams, we have a BD Beagle too with exactly the same BD1 behaviour. Her recall is appalling. She terrorises the postie and indeed anyone who dares even walk down our street. She steals everything - gloves, socks, dirty washing. She farts constantly and blames us (glares at us and then stalks out of the room) My ds' love her but I think she actually hates them as they area always leaping all over her. If anyone comes to the door she leaps at them and knocks them flying.
She is fab, and I love her! And yes, I am well aware that this post says more about my lack of training than hers.

DreamsTurnToGoldDust Fri 01-Feb-13 17:06:52

mum grin youve just reminded me of the farting OMG she sleeps under our bed (yes we are stupid I know) and when she knocks one out, you know! I forgot to mention the wet snoring, is that a Beagle trait? I have to wear ear plugs, its so loud dd can hear it through the walls!

She is without doubt the worse behaved dog I have ever had, but my heart melts for her.

Cuebill Fri 01-Feb-13 17:14:40

Please do start a good dog thread - I hate the name of this thread poor dogs sad

HoneyDragon Fri 01-Feb-13 17:27:12

Cuebill, I can assure that this is a venty term of endearment. Some of the posters that are using this term are DH regulars working with these dogs who would happily chop limbs of to make their BDs feel safe and content.

mum47 Fri 01-Feb-13 17:30:23

Dreams, I take your "under our bed" and raise you to "on our bed". blush
Yes, she snores like a bloody train, between her and dh I cannot remember the time I last had a full night's sleep!
As I type this, she has just nicked some christmas scented pot pourri off the dining room table (don't ask) and hidden under the chair with it. She can have it, she's eaten a lot worse and survived!

Cuebill Fri 01-Feb-13 17:30:34

Ok then but still think it is horrid......<stomps off in childish manner to cuddle her own reactive dog who is trying really hard to confirm to humans view of normal>

Maybe the dogs could start a Bastard owner thread on how their owners do not understand them

ditavonteesed Fri 01-Feb-13 17:35:26

cue bills, my terrier would be the first to post on that thread. we adore the grumpy bugger.

Whippoorwhill Fri 01-Feb-13 17:43:33

Awesome number of Bastard Dogs here. I'm a little sad today because my Bastard Dog is probably being put to sleep tomorrow.

BD breed: Black Labrador/Curly Coated Retriever cross
BD age: 12
BD behaviour: Randomly hates about 30% of the dog population. Some you can predict, nervous, flighty dogs, small yappy dogs, dogs with pricked ears like Huskies and German Shepherds and black Labradors hmm but with others there would be no rhyme or reason. Barks, all the bloody time. When she wants something, if she's left alone, at every sound both real and imagined etc. etc. Shredder extraordinaire, if it's chewable she'll destroy it. Once ate a single bed mattress. Major thief and clever enough to work out how to get into the things she wants.
BD training attempts: We tried all sorts of stuff over the years with varying degrees of success. Eventually she got old, deaf and nearly blind. She still barks for attention, she's barking right now because it is half an hour till dinner time smile and she still shreds. Most of the puppies soft toys have been disembowelled.

Despite everything she has been an amazing dog. Fantastic with the boys, wonderful with our other dogs and marvellously snuggly and loving. She will leave a huge, bastard shaped hole in our lives.

Whippoorwhill Fri 01-Feb-13 17:47:19

I forgot to mention the poo eating and the rolling in everything stinky with amazing relish.

HoneyDragon Fri 01-Feb-13 18:23:46

Cuebill. I think if their was a Dogsnet. For Dogs by Dogs, they would start that thread. I really do.

digerd Fri 01-Feb-13 18:53:06

I think all dogs have an irrisistable innate urge to roll in the stinkyist thing to rid them of parasites. My Lhasa Apso, was always the first to find the most repugnant smelling dead fish to roll in, and the other 2 Westies followed. Phew what a pong! They also ran with glee at MIL's to search for her cat's poos in her garden - yuck. But that's what dogs do.
One Westie repeatedly tried to attack a large Hedgehog in the garden, but it wasn't harmed, she was, with spines stuck in her bleeding lips and its fleas jumping around on her head- quite clear to see on her white hair. I had to sort it all out at 11pm at night.

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows Fri 01-Feb-13 18:57:52

Aw, Cuebill. This is firmly tongue in cheek. You know I adore my BD; I've asked for your advice enough times grin. I don't think he's a bastard, but I strongly suspect other people do when he's gobbing off. I have decided to reclaim the term. I'm using it before it's used.

gymmummy64 Fri 01-Feb-13 18:58:24

Wow chickens your club is so popular! Who knew Mnetters had so many bastard dogs?! Makes me feel much much better

Scuttlebutter Fri 01-Feb-13 19:15:43

Cuebill, I adore my reactive dog, and love every cantankerous bone in his body. This is a fun, lighthearted thread.

BD - Breed - Greyhound
Age - 10

Behaviour - Nervous with men he doesn't know well - badly treated and quite badly scarred still. Also reactive with other dogs (though adores his 3 housemates). A completely soppy love bucket with people he knows.

Training - Doing BAT and this is working well though the encroachment of off lead "he is only being friendly" can put us back. Recently diagnosed with arthritis and Previcox helping enormously. Has made huge strides with confidence generally since he came to us last year. So lovely and heartwarming to see him making progress. Still challenging.

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM Fri 01-Feb-13 19:21:59

I have a semi BD.

She is great off lead, absolutely brilliant - but then she is a half lab/half mutt and the lab part is prevalent eg: "Be my friend! Please! Look I'm a dog, you're a dog! Lets be best friends FOREVER and sniff stuff. Let me sniiiiiiifffff you!!!".

She has great recall unless I shout a nano second too late and then she's off on her own mission

On lead she is the biggest, snarliest, PMT-addled, bastardy bastard and it is exhausting.

Not always been this way, she is 6.5 years old and this has been getting more common this last few years. I am working on distraction with food and trying to relax when other dogs approach (ie walk past) as I do think my being tense has not helped the situation - bit of a vicious circle.

It is like having 2 dogs, she is a delight off-lead and very good at staying away from other BD's (but does like to intimidate small dogs by standing over them hmm and then looks surprised that they tell her to fuck-the-fuck-off!) On lead, she is hard bloody work!

She also has a habit of chewing cat food tins (on the rare occasion I forget to throw them in the outside bin straight away) and I can not have a kitchen bin as she is Queen of Getting In A Bin.

Good points - Gives the most beautiful cuddles, loves our cats and 9 year old, needy DD with a passion (so there is definitely something in that theory!) grin

DeepRedBetty Fri 01-Feb-13 19:47:48

Always lovely to hear about everyone else's dogs. But you're making me miss my favourite Bastard Dog Client, who's gone to live in Switzerland for two years sad.

BD breed: Rhodesian Ridgeback
BD age: 7 years
BD behaviour: Jumps at anything she doesn't approve of, while making a noise like an artillery shell landing. Things she doesn't approve of include... people with walking sticks. People carrying bags, especially flappy empty carrier bags. Things she thinks are flappy carrier bags, like the hood on a child's waterproof coat blush, that was awful... Joggers. Cyclists. Horses. Cows. Ducks.
BD training attempts: I was her Walker, not her owner, we tried all sorts but in the end I was instructed to take her to a place where there weren't any other dogs and given vast amounts of petrol money to do so. Not really a long term solution.

Miss so much!

NoThankYouToSideSalad Fri 01-Feb-13 21:04:30

Having been a very smug owner of two (now sadly deceased) beautifully behaved and obedient border collies, fate has bit me on the bum and I am the apologetic owner of 2 BDs. So...

BD1 Breed - female border collie
BD1 Age - 2 years. Have had her from 9 weeks
BD behaviour - Obnoxious teenager eg.whilst indoors she is "velcro" dog. Once outside, however, it is all "yeah, whatevs I'm off. Laters.." Any attempt at recall is met with a "speak to the paw 'cause the ears ain't listening" attitude. She also has a penchant for consuming poo - fox poo, her poo, BD2's poo, cow pats, sheep poo,etc - which wouldn't be too bad except that she likes to lick - a lot - around my mouth (bleurgh). She also enjoys deliberately winding up BD2 e.g. stealing his ball/bone/toy and prancing about with it in her mouth, waggling it in his face as if to say "nah, nah ne nah can't have it" until BD2 has a canine meltdown (ear piercing barks, whimpers, frantic lunges,etc.)
Training - failing miserably with recall as she has no interest in treats or toys. Am avoiding wooded areas as she is better in open fields. I think this is because she can then get a better run up to body charge BD2 as he chases his ball.

BD2 -male springer spaniel
BD Age - 2 (we think) Got him from a rescue 6 months ago
BD behaviour - can NOT stay out of mud. The stinkier the better. Insists on full body dives in mud when catching ball. Ball obsessed. Will plough down anyone and anything in his way when in pursuit of ball and frequently does. A persistent stealer of balls from both dogs and people and WILL. NOT. LET. GO. EVER. Stages a sit down when it is time to leave the park i.e. sits on his haunches and refuses to budge. Also refuses to leave stagnant pools of water.
Training - I try to put him on lead well before we reach smelly pools of water. HOWEVER, I have been sussed out by BD2 and he will now sprint far ahead of me to get to said smelly pool. I carry A LOT of balls with me to distract him from other balls. I have been known to pick him up like a tantruming toddler when leaving the park.

Good Points: Both LOVE people and other dogs. They love snuggling; they're gorgeous; and I love them to bits (poo breath and all). smile

ExitPursuedByABear Fri 01-Feb-13 23:33:32

Cuebill This is clearly not the thread for you.


Hear that scream? That is the noise of the owner of a BASTARDDOG. Wrapped up in that noise is the shame, the guilt, the worry, the fear, the nerves, the sick feeling in the pit of the stomach when you have to go and see the headmistress.... all that fecking stress when you are taking the fecking dog for a fecking walk. That fecking dog that lies under your chair with his cold wet nose pressed against the back of your heel, whispering, I love you, I love you, I love you, you are the best thing since sliced liver bread, take me out, take me out, I promise I won't catch a Canada Goose do anything wrong, I won't attack anything or be aggressive, look, look, look at these eyes, are these the eyes of a monster, really?

<takes Bastarddog out>

MagratGarlik Sat 02-Feb-13 00:30:19

Dd 1. Whippet.

Age: almost 3 years
Background: rescued at 12 months, good with dogs. Attacked by staff x shortly after we got him. Now reactive to dogs if he is on lead.

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