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I know its for the best but still feel like I'm letting him down :-(

(21 Posts)
TINKERBELLE33 Thu 03-Jan-13 12:54:12

Have finally made the decision to have my old boy PTS. He has been living on borrowed time for about 2 1/2 years with arthritis and various tumors, and just seems so tired at the moment. His back legs have just about gone and he is really restless so I think now is the time before things go too far.

I am absolutely heart broken as I have had him since birth, having helped deliver him over 14 years ago. I couldn't even make the appointment at the vets and had to get DM to do it for me. I am hiding upstairs so the Dcs don't see me crying.

I think the best thing is just to say he died at the vets rather than tell them he is going to die, but try to covertly get them to say their goodbye without knowing IYSWIM.

Sorry for rambling on, I just needed to get it off my chest as we have had 2 family friends die over xmas and new year so was feeling quite down before this.

Onlyaphase Thu 03-Jan-13 12:59:41

So sorry to read this. I will be where you are in about 12 months with my old lab I think, so I've tears in my eyes reading this now.

Please try and remember that you're doing the best you can for him, letting him go with dignity before something catastrophic and painful happens forcing a painful and frightening ending. It is a horrible thing to have to do, but better than the alternative.

Can you get the vet to come to your house instead maybe? Would that be easier for him?

BookieMonster Thu 03-Jan-13 13:05:11

sad thanks So sorry.

TINKERBELLE33 Thu 03-Jan-13 13:08:36

Thanks for the suggestion, though not really an option as my vet is 30 miles away. I know in my heart its the right thing to do but it doesn't make it any easier. I think its harder because its planned. When I had my cat PTS it was because he had a fit at the vets following unsuccessful cancer surgery and I made the decision and it was done straight away. Its the waiting that's the hardest. Our appointment is 4pm.

WileywithSageStuffing Thu 03-Jan-13 13:36:29

Really sorry to read this. Has made me well up as this time last year I had my beloved 13 year old JRT put down. She had a brain tumour and has similar symptoms.

Normally when I took her to the vets she would be desperately trying to leave everytime the door opened and be quivering on my lap. That time she laid by my feet looked at me and settled happily. When they have her the injection she lay perfectly still, always watching me but it was as if she had peace. Realise that sounds silly but something definitely passed between us - a thank you both ways. A thank you I guess to each other.

This will be terribly hard for you but please stay with your dog. It's the final thing you can do for them and they do know it.

Much (non mumsnetty) love to you.

mrsjay Thu 03-Jan-13 14:16:17

I am so sorry it is so hard when it is time to do but you are doing what is best for him it isn't easy our dog died 2 years ago unexpectedly and it is just awful and we recently had an 18 yr old cat pts my heart still aches for her (( hug))

mrsjay Thu 03-Jan-13 14:17:07

wiley your story made me cry,

WileywithSageStuffing Thu 03-Jan-13 14:49:41

18 years old mrsjay that's heartbreaking. I think people fail to understand how your pet becomes part of your family. I think being brave enough to make the decision to PTS when the time comes is the biggest show of love and appreciation. When my JRT was PTS it was like it was just the two of us in the room - if she had been human I would have told her thank you for all the excitement, frustration and joy she had bought me and my daughters. Thank you for the unwavering and unconditional love she had given me. I am sure she was grateful for being allowed in the bed every night and the time I had to jump into the sea off the harbour wall to rescue her when she had an attack of the lemmings.

tinkerbelle33 this will be the hardest thing you have to do for a long while I expect, the waiting must be unbearable. Just spend the time with your dog on the sofa, on the bed wherever. You know it's for the best.

FWIW I felt that I would never be able to have another dog. But after only a couple of months of solo walking my husband bought me a Shih tzu.

TINKERBELLE33 Thu 03-Jan-13 20:41:57

Thank you for your kind words and support, you will never know just how much it helped. The vet was wonderful and treated him as if he was her own. He perked up on arrival and we really wondered if we were doing the right thing as he was flirting with all the girl dogs just like he used to do. Its amazing what a difference adrenaline can make. Once this wore off he fell and couldn't get back up so it was definitely the right time. He just lay in our arms and went off to sleep.

I miss him like crazy but also feel relief that its all over. Still need to tell the DCs as they haven't noticed. Think I will leave it until tomorrow now as its already past their bed time.

Blistory Thu 03-Jan-13 20:54:04

So sorry, it's such a difficult decision even when you know it's right.

Paddlinglikehell Thu 03-Jan-13 21:03:43

So sorry, we had the same decision several weeks ago, so difficult to know when it is the right time but it is easy to let them go on too long because of our feelings.

How lovely he had a bit of a flirt beforehand. My old terrier had a lovely little walk before we took her, she had abscesses in her mouth which at 17 we were unable to treat, but despite this, I too felt she had just had enough.

It does get easier and we actually came home with a puppy today as our other dog is so depressed, I have waited two years for this puppy, because I couldn't get one whilst the old girl was still around, but I sobbed my heart out today, thinking of her.

Cuebill Thu 03-Jan-13 21:11:23

Really sorry, such a hard decision to make sad

Whippoorwhill Thu 03-Jan-13 22:30:36

Oh I am so very, very sorry. Our Old Dog will almost certainly be making that last trip to the vets in the next week. It is utterly heartbreaking even when you know you made the right decision. I really feel for you.

changeforthebetter Thu 03-Jan-13 22:33:29

So sorry sadbrew

RedwingWinter Thu 03-Jan-13 23:30:57

I'm really sorry, it's such a hard thing sad

Signet2012 Thu 03-Jan-13 23:35:21

So sorry sad

I had my beloved pups pts three weeks ago. My heart aches for him.

I don't think I'll ever be able to get another dog. I couldn't face looking into their eyes as they are put to sleep.

Take comfort from knowing it was the right thing to do

Charliefox Thu 03-Jan-13 23:39:24

Tears are now rolling down my face. We had our boy PTS about 7 weeks ago now. It's heart breaking and you have my heartfelt sympathy for your loss.

TINKERBELLE33 Fri 04-Jan-13 00:21:48

Just going to bed now and it has really hit home. No more water bowl to check, bed to arrange, late night loo trip or barracading him into the kitchen to prevent him using the carpet as a toilet. Not sure why he started doing this six months ago as he rarely did this in the kitchen, but hey ho, we loved him all the same.

Forgot to mention earlier but I was so upset at taking him to the vets that not only did I forget to lock the house door, but also didn't even close it. I came home 3 hours later to the door wide open and the cat guarding it! Luckily nobody noticed, although I am disappointed that the busy body head of the neighbourhood watch over the road didn't notice.

mrsjay Fri 04-Jan-13 09:45:08

tinkerbelle you did the right thing bless him eyeing up all the ladies, you will miss him for a very long time but thats ok smile

SpicyPear Fri 04-Jan-13 11:07:32

Very sorry for your loss. Have just bumped a link to the Blue Cross support line if you feel you need it.

WileywithSageStuffing Fri 04-Jan-13 13:07:19

tinkerbelle so sorry. That's the worst part - the quiet, no leads, water bowl etc. It puts you out of routine and everything seems so abnormal.

For me I was given a dog fairly quickly after the event but it was a totally different type of cat dog. Very low energy and genteel.

Glad the house was ok, you must have had so much on your mind. You know now that he is out of pain and will not suffer. I really feel for you.

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