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(35 Posts)
doublemocha Mon 12-Nov-12 09:48:54


Lots of you will have read my posts last week about crate training our new puppy.

I took him back to the breeder yesterday.

Rhinestone was right, I wasn't prepared. I thought I was prepared, I thought I had read all that I could, spent time with the breed, talked to breeders etc, agreed with work to wfh etc. but I wasn't. I have always been a 'coper', people laugh at me for it, just getting on with it and not flapping, having the DC never bothered me. DH has mental health issues and I deal with stuff when he's bad. So I wasn't prepared for feeling so overwhelmed, it was an alien feeling to me. By the weekend I was having panic attacks, which I have never experienced before (still having them now for gawd's sake, how pathetic is that?!). I read all your posts talling me to 'calm down', you were all right, I did need to calm down, completely I did but I didn't seem to be able to. I read all that I could and got myself in such a stress.

So we did the right thing for him and took him back while he has the opportunity to find a loving, decent home before he got too late for him. DH insisted on that and fair enough.

I am not proud of myself in any way at all for doing this to him and to my family. I am not proud of my inability to just get on with it. I guess that I could have just not posted again, but I wanted to say thanks for your support last week and, if people search this thread thinking of getting a new puppy, just to let them know to think seriously. The reality is not for everyone.

Thanks again.

They really don't, Look <sad face>

BeerTricksPott3r Mon 12-Nov-12 16:47:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LookBehindYou Mon 12-Nov-12 16:53:09

Are you saying BeerTricks that the OP should not try again for the whole of her life? Do you not think that her circumstances might change or that she might have success with a different age/breed? Have you written her off forever? That's rather extreme.

BeerTricksPott3r Mon 12-Nov-12 16:58:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

doublemocha Mon 12-Nov-12 17:08:29

Thank you for your replies, it is appreciated, supportive or not! I don't want to start a fight. I messed around with an animals life and that wasn't fair. I am deeply, deeply sorry for this circumstance.

To prepare I read as much as I could (and ended up confusing and doubting myself), I talked to three breeders, I spent a lot of time with our friends Vizsla, I grilled them about how hard it was, I went on a breed specific website. I changed my working hours to wfh. I went on a waiting list. I thought I could overcome the challenges our life had in it.

What I didn't do - failed to truly grasp everything maybe and didn't have the confidence to try my own approach, thought it through too much and didn't know how to handle the panic attacks (which I haven't ever had before). Felt I 'couldn't do it'.

There's some great advice on here and it is much appreciated.

I thought I could cope I and didn't.

LookBehindYou Mon 12-Nov-12 17:12:49

OP, the puppy will be fine. Don't beat yourself up about this anymore. Perhaps though you should take this as a warning that you're reaching the end of your tether and go and talk to someone.

SpicyPear Mon 12-Nov-12 18:03:07

Hi double. I hope you don't mind me chiming in as you did come here to post about the dog, but I just wanted to second LBY. From the details you've posted here you have an awful lot to contend with in your life. You indicate that you pride yourself on being a "coper", but now you are having panic attacks, a sign of severe anxiety. Having been through something similar myself in the past I'd just gently suggest that maybe you need to take care of yourself for a bit. You are human, you don't always have to "cope".

LadyTurmoil Tue 13-Nov-12 00:47:18

To everyone on this thread. I was trying not to be judgemental and, again, I would say How wonderful if everything in life worked out as we wanted but it doesn't. I certainly don't have the attitude that a dog/puppy is something disposable, to try out and return if it's not what you expected. But you have to agree that puppies are particularly challenging at times. Doublemocha obviously did as much "homework" as she possibly could and came to a very, very difficult decision that people agree was the best one in her circumstances. I just don't agree, as LBY pointed out, that she should be written off as a potential dog owner for the rest of her life because of this one traumatic event. As I said before, it would be wonderful if life always worked out as we wanted, but it DOESN'T. Good luck doublemocha and please take care of yourself.

tipsycat Tue 13-Nov-12 13:17:52

Hi Doublemocha, as the owner of a 12 month viszler, I can understand the decision you have made. Our viszler is lovely, but has taken much more effort to housetrain than our previous dog (labrador). We also researched the breed, and were experienced dog owners, but have found that our Viszler is more of a challenge than we expected. We love him to bits, and as I am at home most of the time, we have managed. I would not recommend the breed to inexperienced owners. You have done the right thing, take it easy!

spudballoo Tue 13-Nov-12 20:37:21

I'm so sorry to hear what a rough time it's been. I do sympathise. I have an 8 mth old puppy and, like you, did all the research, read all the books, found the right breeder, waited until I'd stopped working etc etc. The reality was quite shocking, and actually he's been an 'easy' puppy. It put such a strain on me, and our family relations too. And that's without a DH with a kind of issues yours has.

You've been honest and brave by letting the breeder take the puppy back, and by coming back here to say what's happened. I'm sorry you're now getting a bit of a ticking off which you don't need, sounds like you're doing that to yourself. It's very unfortunate of course, but these things happen an a 10 week old puppy from a good breeder will be snapped up.

I do love my puppy to bits, but there have been times (many times) when I have really wondered if I've done the right thing and it's really, really got me down at times. My children are at school but I'd not, for example, really thought through walking the dog in the holidays. My boys are very young and can't/won't walk too far, but that doesn't work for the dog. Just a small example.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that i'm sorry things didn't work out but I'm sure you've done the right thing for your family. And that your honesty is admirable.

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