Dog collectors. Do you know any? How do you deal with them?(13 Posts)
I have an accquintence who keeps buying and rehoming dogs. We already have one dog of her, have fostered another while rescue space was being sought because she was threatened with eviction for breach of contract and have advised on rehoming a third, she had her on Gumtree - straight after her "just one litter" because we all know how having "just one litter" calms the bitch down, who would otherwise be unmanageable, don't we? <sigh>
She is now on FB asking if anyone is selling any puppies. The breed she is looking for is totally unsuitable for her circumstances and I know in 6 months time she will be looking at me to either take in or find rescue for the dog. If I don't help, she will rehome herself on FB or Gumtree.
What do I do? Do I start refusing to help mop up her messes for her to the detriment of the dog's welfare? Do I just keep assisting her in rehoming these dogs? I've tried suggesting she doesn't have anymore dogs, but it never sinks in. I have shown her link upon link of what happens to dogs sold on FB etc. I have tried to get her to talk to rescues herself to find out how many dogs they have and how hard they are finding it to keep up with the constant influx of new arrivals. None of this works. I don't think it will ever work. Every dog she gets will be "different this time" and she won't need to rehome it.
Sorry if this sounds blunt but stop being her mother.
write on today's calendar that you've had this conversation and, in 6 months time, tell her that you told her on 2nd October that she would be in this situation and you're not able to help her rehome the dog this time. Then put the phone down.
As dreadful as it is to think of her posting unsuitable dogs on gumtree, that is for her conscience, and not something you can attempt to control. Just extricate yourself from this.
I completely understand why you feel compelled to help the dogs but i don't think you should keep taking responsibly for cleaning up her mess as it's just enabling her.
You've done your best to educate her and she's not interested, so atty some point for your own sanity you will need to draw a line! Morally, the fate of the dogs is her responsibility alone.
Also, although I'm well aware of what happens to many dogs rehomed via gumtree/FB, I've also met a lot of nice respectable owners who've adopted dogs this way, so it's not a given that they will all end up abused or as bait etc if you don't step in.
Agree with all of the above. Hard as it will be for you, just stop helping. I bet in the back of her mind she's thinking 'Meh, if it doesn't work out, Doin will take it away'. She's not dealing with the consequences of being a fuckwit. Make her.
Obviously I cannot condone this but
I lady I don't know often pops up on Fb asking about kittens and puppy's. Within the hour one out of three local ladies involved in rescues pop and post
Do Not Sell to This Woman!
And appear to pm the seller too.
I believe she is similar to your lady, and they don't know what else to do
I did take a step back the third time as in I didn't take the dog into my home or do all the running around for her. I just gave her the number of a rescue manager.
I had spoken to the rescue prior to passing out their number and warned them to expect a call from her and explained I had met her dog and she was a sweet little thing who I would be happy to foster it if they needed me to, but this lady did not know I had done that.
I also made the rescue aware they had already taken in a dog from her via me and I had one of her's who we'd kept.
The first two were under threat of being pts if she did not get immediate assistance that day, although in fairness she claimed the first dog was not hers. It was her cousins and her cousin's parents who were going to kill it.
I know the rescue had a word about her waiting a good few years before taking on any more pets.
I know what I need to do. It's just going to be hard for me to sit back and do nothing while she is passing luve animals about like sweeties. Her friends and family are all the same always advertising the sale of or wanted or available for swap dogs and cats.
Is there a way you could not see theses posts and ads etc? Maybe block her on FB so you don't have the upset of worrying about particular dogs and it's a bit easier to disengage?
I don't know how they do it. Don't they bond with these animals? I love my Xbox, I really do. If it broke I would be devastated and would need an immediate replacement, but if someone offered me a new in one in exchange for my dog I would probably punch them. I could buy a new Xbox and play all the same games and use it in exactly the same way and it would be identical to my last one. I could find another Fox Terrier X, who would probably be cheaper than an XBox, but he wouldn't be my Fox Terrier X. He wouldn't be identical in every way. He wouldn't be the dog who'd curl up on my lap because of the hours and hours I have spent gaining his trust.
How do they not bond? I try to not bond with my foster dogs, but it never works. The only thing that enables me to "pass them on" is knowing that their finding a very good home is creating space to take in a dog who would otherwise be at risk of being pts. And also the fact that the new owners are home checked and keep in touch with updates, pictures etc. It still hurts everytime one leaves. I still miss them.
I've always had a much stronger bond with my dogs than I have with most people, it is such a pure relationship. And like babies they rely on you for everything and can't speak their pain - making you doubly responsible for providing care and not breaking their trust. No living creature deserves to be thought of or treated as a disposable or interchangeable 'thing'. Mistreatment of children and animals is just the worst thing there is - this woman deserves the equivalent of animal SS to come down on her hard.
I think you need to stop helping too, maybe it's counter-productive and just encouraging/enabling her to go on being irresponsible.
People like this make me so though. I don't understand how they can do it either, surely dogs are part of the family, not things to be sold on or dumped when they're no longer wanted?
I know what you mean D0oin - unfortunately a lot of people don't seem to see their dog as a family member, more as some sort of toy. Makes me too.
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