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Emptyshell update and a request for fingers/paws crossing

(30 Posts)
DejaWho Fri 16-Sep-11 08:00:32

I'm not coming back full-time - I think certain elements of this site are profoundly toxic and dangerous to childless women with the rising MumsNet as a lobby group (I live in utter terror of what the world would become if they got more of a political lobby foothold)... just thought I'd let you guys know what's what.

I saw scuttle had been on the warpath and I just need to ask for my username back - thank you, it touched me a lot (was stuck in the arse end of nowhere at the time having to be nice to the in-laws so couldn't do much else)... but I'm not going to go begging bowl in hand and be berated by the powers that be, and I fully expect this account to be nuked now I've fessed up to who it is (by the way MN - if you ban on Firefox... can still log in on a new ID on Internet Explorer - might want to look at that one). Me going off on one like I did was partially a reflection of the hurt and utter rage at the continual childless/free baiting and assumptions on here - and I guess I partly wanted to prove that they'd judge a childless woman bereaved by a series of miscarriages and infertility more harshly than one "in their club" so to speak. I was right on that front - sad that we don't have a voice for WOMEN as a whole anymore - places like Handbag I miss greatly because there, you weren't some kind of subhuman person if you had wonky plumbing (although I don't miss the fucking tickers). I don't think it's ever fair to judge people's capability to do their jobs on their reproductive status, I don't think it's fair to judge people's "worth" to society on their reproductive status - IN EITHER DIRECTION - yet it's perfectly OK on here.

Anyway - the update and small request... slobbery-dog is fine, houndy dog is a bossy pain in the arse and I got told off by the dog warden last week for her weight with the utter gem of a conversation of "have you wormed her"... "yep"... "are you feeding her"... well fuck no I KNEW there was something I'd forgotten! She's gaining and no longer looks like a toastrack on legs - but I'd rather she gained slowly than became a blimp overnight. She's even vaguely mastered obedience becoming the star pupil at doggy-asbo class last week - we did sits, we did downs, we did stays, we didn't eat the small yappy thing next to us!

OK the small request for fingers/paws/everything crossing... prayers if they're your sort of thing, good wishes if they're more your arena. After the last year of assuming the last miscarriage left me infertile I appear to be highly possibly up the duff again (don't quite trust that second line - it's faint and not flashing dayglo neon yet)... I need to ring the recurrent miscarriage lady and get in for an early scan, and there's a very very real possibility that I'll have to lose it again at the same point as all the others for them to be watching this time and see what's going wrong - so I'm not mentally picking out curtains for the nursery (I'd be thinking more "fuck, I'll have to actually tackle stripping the woodchip out of the room I've closed the door and decided to ignore it for a year" anyway).... I just figure getting a few more fingers crossed on our behalf may swing some force of cosmic karma in our direction so wanted you to know. I'm superficially quite calm and resigned about it all - worst case, it shows there's still some life in the wonky plumbing, slightly less worst case - we get a few answers and possible ways forward, best case - well, not even going there.

Dogs, and wonky mog, in whatever outcome are here to stay - would you really have expected anything else from me on that front?!

kitsmummy Fri 16-Sep-11 09:09:08

Oh my goodness, you won't know me because I haven't posted on any of your threads before, but I have seen some of them.

Really really good luck with this, I hope all goes well for you xxx

DooinMeCleanin Fri 16-Sep-11 09:24:24

Oh ES sad. I pray that everything works out.

Why were you banned? What did I miss? Who do I need to shoot?

If anyone needs MN for support it's you. I hope you feel you can keep in touch with those you want to. There are a lot of people here who thought you were a great poster.

So glad hound is getting better.

DogsBestFriend Fri 16-Sep-11 09:31:29

You have no, no, NO idea how much I have fingers and toes crossed here. I hope with every fibre of my (old and knackered!) body that it all goes perfectly and that all your dreams come true.

Please keep us all updated. If MN get stupid about you again and delete you, you know where to find me to pass messages on.

Oh and at least you have a dog warden where you live and they care enough to make enquiries about the local canine population, missus. My county doesn't even have a DW any more! smile

Look after yourself, keeping you in my thoughts and wishing all that you wish for yourself.


AndTheWinnerIs Fri 16-Sep-11 11:32:35

I remember you from the mc boards es.
I hope and pray that all goes well for you.
Take good care of yourself x

Oh my god! Everything crossed for you xxx

Me and three Jack Russels xx

coccyx Fri 16-Sep-11 11:36:55

I don't know you but i am a doglover and someone who has had miscarriages, so I wish you all the best

higgle Fri 16-Sep-11 12:30:54

me too - good luck!

tooearlytobeup Fri 16-Sep-11 16:36:02

I read lots of your threads while lurking in the doghouse before we got our own dog. I truly hope that after all the heartache you have gone through, that this is the start of a happy and healthy pregnancy. I will be keeping everything crossed for you smile

CoffeeIsMyFriend Fri 16-Sep-11 16:46:37

No clue why you have are persona non grata, but I wish you well and lots of luck.

big slobbers from the 2 hairy babies I have.

CoffeeIsMyFriend Fri 16-Sep-11 16:47:01

*have become persona. fucksake.

ruletheworld Fri 16-Sep-11 16:49:46

We've never spoken but I've felt the utmost sympathy and respect over the fertility issues you've posted about in the past. I have everything crossed for you too x

DejaWho Sun 18-Sep-11 11:36:56

Well the local EPU changed their number without updating websites and everything so I've been ringing the wrong extension for days like an utter plank and my patience and positive thought mind-powers are getting wrecked.

On the other hand - any rumours I came back from the Great Greyhound Gathering (would have been rude not to go since it was just near us) with no less than FIVE hound collars (including a really cute black one with irridescent dragonflies and matching purple tassel) are vicious vicious lies... I was only going to buy three collars, then I spotted the AK creations stall... walked past Silver Peacock though because I think my husband was contemplating divorce proceedings by then if I'd bought any more, especially the wonderful shocking pink one I had my eye on at that point.

DooMeCleanIn - got banned while you were away I think cos I lightly flame roasted some self-entitled twunt in AIBU and scared her back off to NetMums. Was the gist of it - but you did miss the shocking revelation that "a dog is not a child" and much piss-taking at that point for the "shit, there goes Oxford Uni out of the window then."

DooinMeCleanin Sun 18-Sep-11 11:58:59

A dog is not a child? shock. Next you'll tell me Santa is not real! It's all lies I tell you, lies wink

I went to a charity dog show just after getting back. I hadn't been paid from work again and so was skint. When I eventually got paid I absolutely did not owe most of my money to my mum <hides new dog bed and collars and harnesses and blankets and.....> My lovely grey came 4th in the best rescue bitch show smile. My Dad's ugly mutt came first <jealous, moi?> grin

Good luck at the EPU. I have everything crossed for you.

bemybebe Sun 18-Sep-11 12:05:47

ES, I have seen your past posts and felt incredibly sad for you!
I know from bitter experience how devastating your journey must have been. I have been pregnant only twice, both lost, the last at 24+1 when the little girl was born due to me contracting and infection. lived for 23 days, she would have been born next week otherwise.
All our fingers, toes and paws are crossed here for you and your LO!!!!!!

ForYourDreamsAreChina Sun 18-Sep-11 12:09:20

ES, I am also a namechanger and felt for you in the past.
Wishing you all the luck in the world, now. smile

pink4ever Sun 18-Sep-11 12:16:08

I wish you all the best for the current pregnancy. I was where you are a few years ago-thought I would never have a healthy pregnancy and was very bitter about it.
I doubt anyone thinks you are worthless or that your views are not relevant because of your fertility problems-sounds like thats you projecting that on to other people. Again dont blame you for that-I found being angry and twisted was all part of the process.
I was on the thread you got banned from and you certainly did dish it out quite a bit-doesnt bother me because thats what aibu is for imo<shrugs>
With regards to the epau-you have to be quite aggressive and basically become a bit of a pest.
Hope things go smoothly for you.

PacificDogwood Sun 18-Sep-11 12:22:51

ES, I am familiar with your story too and am wishing you the very best of luck.
I am dogless/free and my life is incomplete (must get rid of allergice DH poste haste wink).

My EPU/rec MC clinic has been v v good with me over the years, so I hope you get the care you need - and the outcome we all live in hope for smile.

<<dons tools to sit with everything crossed for the next 8 months>>

MotherJack Sun 18-Sep-11 12:56:17

Good luck with everything, ES.... sending you good wishes from here.

BeerTricksPotter Sun 18-Sep-11 13:07:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChippingIn Sun 18-Sep-11 13:18:48

OMG ES!!!! I have everything crossed for you!! I've even gone and crossed the arms of the jumpers drying on the rack! grin

... and as you say, at the very very least, it shows that it is still possible for you to get pregnant... but of course crossing everything for the best outcome. You so deserve that x

I do like your summary of that thread grin Despite the flame roasting you gave her, you should not have been banned. Anyway, you know where to find several of us should you get re-banned.

Keep in touch OK

DejaWho Mon 19-Sep-11 08:07:08

ChippingIn You've cracked me right up with the jumper arm crossing!

Well, after a long weekend of flapping myself into a tizz (coupled with some light relief as the infernal hound decided to run off with my husband's work sandwich this morning and proceeded to do a 35mph victory lap of the living room and garden) that pink line is still there and darker (not as dark as I'd like - I'm wanting neon flashing, fanfares and those party popper things) so I get the fun of trying to find the EPU phone number this morning and praying it's not closed and they haven't sacked Miss Miscarriages in the budget cuts! I am about to be, a right stroppy bugger - after I've eaten my almond croissant that is!

LoveInAColdClimate Mon 19-Sep-11 08:11:24

You won't know me but I have followed your posts before. I have everything crossed for you.

stripeybump Mon 19-Sep-11 08:18:54

Fingers crossed for you - I agree that you're projecting re not being welcome due to being childless, if you're repeatedly aggressive you get banned, end of. But hope you have a safe and happy journey with your pregnancy.

Ephiny Mon 19-Sep-11 11:34:16

Fingers crossed for you (and my Rottie is sitting with his paws crossed as usual smile). Really hoping for a happy outcome for you. Take care of yourself, whatever happens.

I completely agree with you about 'that thread' and similar ones on here, there are some absolutely outrageous and offensive things said about women who aren't mothers. Yes you may be more sensitive to that than some, due to what you've been through, but I don't think you're projecting or imagining it.

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