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Will my DC's heart break if I let the puppy go to another home?

(43 Posts)
trottingon Thu 11-Aug-11 19:32:21

Usual story, DC nagged for dog for about 2 years. We gave in at last. We now have a 9 mth old puppy. Got it at 8 weeks old.

Prior to getting this pup we talked extensively to DC about the level of responsibility, i.e. walks, poop patrols, feeding and general welfare. We went on a 3 mile walk today and had long face from DC and the, 'I hate walking, it's so boring' attitude

Now we feel trapped with a high maintenance pet, but feel that we will destroy DC if we send it to a 'better' home....If we let the puppy go will DC hate us forever?!! HELP!!!sad

clam Thu 11-Aug-11 19:37:16

How old are your DCs?

thisisyesterday Thu 11-Aug-11 19:37:23

how old are the children?
I would say that under about 8, maybe even older, they simply will NOT have realised how much work it is or how boring it can be. they just wanted a puppy and agreed to whatever you said.

i think that if you buy pets for children you have to accept that actually you are the one who is really responsible for it sadly

that said, if you cannot devote the time and energy that it needs then it would be better to rehome it now than wait.

if your children are teens though I think it shjould be ultimatum time. you look after the dog or the dog goes.

coccyx Thu 11-Aug-11 19:40:15

I can feel myself getting cross

JarethTheGoblinKing Thu 11-Aug-11 19:46:41


alp Thu 11-Aug-11 19:52:05

Puppy's are hard work. Dogs are hard work. My DD asked for a dog for 2 yrs. She still would rather watch TV than play with the dog, however she is 8 and I know this is what she is like We take the dog for a walk via the ice cream shop sometimes but sometimes she is very keen and holds treats, whistle and does the training.

What I'm saying is all kids get bored with things, that's what kids are like.

trottingon Thu 11-Aug-11 19:53:01

Yes I was expecting that kind of reaction coccyx and I understand it, but we have had dogs before. We are not new to being dog owners and responsible ones too, but I am finding this puppy extremely difficult and although in reality I didn't expect DC to take the full responsibility of this pet, I didn't expect the novelty to wear off so quickly.

GlitterySkulls Thu 11-Aug-11 19:53:52

oh for fuck's sake.

JustFiveMinutesHAHAHA Thu 11-Aug-11 19:54:23

If no-one is going to be resonsible for this dogs happiness in your home, then rehome it through a rescue. Do not do it privately. The rescue will ensure it goes to a good home and will be there to support the new family and if by some chance that too goes wrong they will be there for the dog.

Though, I cannot - for the life of me, understand people who get dogs and expect children to be responsible for them.

<biting tongue>

Shitter Thu 11-Aug-11 19:55:05

which breed is the pup?

RitaMorgan Thu 11-Aug-11 19:57:25

Very silly of you to get a dog on the basis that the children will help - you are the adult, you should have expected to be responsible for it.

Really, I think you have committed to this dog now, you can't just give it away.

CoffeeIsMyFriend Thu 11-Aug-11 19:57:53

What sort of dog is it? HAve you done basic training, gone to classes? How old are your children.

I am restraining myself here and just sticking to questions for the moment as I am pretty sure the shit will hit the fan soon OP. sad

Shitter Thu 11-Aug-11 20:04:02

If you tell us the breed, we might be able to give you a few tips if you are finding it hard.

What is hard, just the walking with kids moaning or is it behavioural? Are you fed up with the dog or just the children.

You need to tell them that walking is part and parcel of having a dog, and that it would be very unhappy stuck indoors, and would have to go a another home where someone will be kind to it.

When my dc were little we had 3 pups, and walking etc has always been part and parcel of daily life with animals. They have just got on with it.

trottingon Thu 11-Aug-11 20:06:12

Well I feel so bad now I have read all the comments and you are all right of course. Thank you for the slap across the face...I deserve it!! Reality check accepted and understood!!

trottingon Thu 11-Aug-11 20:07:05

Sorry shitter she's a cocker spaniel (working)

DogsBestFriend Thu 11-Aug-11 20:08:54

Your child didn't buy the puppy. You did. So now you're responsible for him, no excuses please.

Nine months is a difficult age. Pups are past the cute, forgivable puppy stage and are bigger, smarter and harder work, not yet grown into their paws, not yet able to fully control their childish impulses.

Your job is to reign those impulses in. It DOES get better, provided you're willing to put in the effort. If you're not, say so now please and I will give you solid reasons why you MUST, for the dog's sake, rehome via a rescue and not privately and we can save each other a lot of wasted time. I have 13 dogs to find rescue places for tonight, I'm sure you're busy too. (Not mine I hasten to add, I'm a rescuer).

If you are then lets look into how to do that.

Tell us about your family set-up - do you have just the one DC? Age/s?

Do you both work? F/T or P/T? Do you have a dogwalker/sitter? Have you done training classes? Up to what level/for how long?

Are you town or country and what sex and breed is your dog? Is he/she neutered/spayed?

And please can you stop refering to him/her as "it", that saddens me.

Shitter Thu 11-Aug-11 20:09:06

Cockers are fab. Should be easy to train. I have mad spirngers, they are very lively at a young age, but make fantastic family dogs. I do hope you sort things out because you would be well rewarded by her.

Labradorlover Thu 11-Aug-11 20:11:00

Possibly break your DC's hearts and teach them that it's okay to ditch an animal you chose when it becomes inconvenient......
Dog walking is shit sometimes....try Scotland for the last few sodden days.
My DD knows the dogs have to be walked. I try and make it as painless as possible so she's kitted out with the waterproofs and sometimes has a choice of walks etc, but it, like working and cooking have to be done.

NevermindtheNargles Thu 11-Aug-11 20:14:50

I have one of my dogs for this reason, his previous owners decided after a week that they didn't want him. It breaks my heart to think of it, he's such a loving boy.

I wonder what you were expecting when you got your pup?

TBH I find puppies a pain in the arse, and high maintenance, but it's worth putting in the effort to end up with a fantastic companion for your DCs to grow up with, and for you.

lostlady Thu 11-Aug-11 20:14:52

I would wait a bit; our puppy was going on eBay almost every day when younggrin Now she's two, wouldn't be without her. This stage will probably pass, give it some time

trottingon Thu 11-Aug-11 20:51:21

Thanks all, I have read all you comments and feel told off and rightly so. Please don't think that our puppy is unloved, she is lovely and has everything plus a little more. We are responsible in life but confess to being a little out of our depth.
Reading all your comments has made me feel like a child being taught about responsibility. I am signing off now but thank you for being so frank!! My decision is made and she will stay and have a great life with us!!

minimu11 Thu 11-Aug-11 21:20:34

Trottingon it is very common to feel overwhelmed especially when your pup has got to this age. It is perfectly normal to ask for advice and get people to help you. Personally I would steal the dog from your DC's and make her all yours smile

Do you have a good trainer who can help you with some of the issues, look into getting a dog walker for a day a week to give you a day off (although I bet over time you will love your quiet time out walking with the dog!) get OH to look after the DC's and have a quiet relaxing walk with just the puppy.

If you can stick it out for a few more months and give more time to training you will soon have a loving, super dog that will give so much back to you.

Do not hesitate to ask here for advice or local dog clubs to help you. - hope it works out cockers are lovely grin those ears are to die for

minimu11 Thu 11-Aug-11 21:22:14

just a thought my DC's had a stage of moaning over dog walking but loved geocaching and would go for miles to do that - just luckily the dogs loved it too so win win.

Would your kids be up for geocaching?

Elibean Thu 11-Aug-11 21:25:53

Sounds like your child/ren passed on their fed-up-ness-with-puppy-responsibility to you, you posted it on MN, MN ticked you off and reminded you of your responsibility, and you can now, possibly, pass that back to your child/ren grin

Good for you, trottington, sometimes all we need is a firm boundary and a bit of encouragement - all of which you can now pass on to your pup! Good luck, and do post again for support/encouragement, there is a great 'coping with/training new puppy' thread on the go.

CoffeeIsMyFriend Thu 11-Aug-11 22:15:54

9 months is a tricky age, but like others have said, it does get better. My 'puppy' will be 1 at the end of August and at times it has been very hard going especially as she is a working GSD. The training, walking is all worth it though when they eventually settle down. Promise it will get better.

Some of the most fun walks we have had is in the pissing rain, hail, wind and snow. And I for one always feel better after a lovely long walk.

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