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My Dp's mums and stepdads dog bit my son on chirstmas day.... feeling very sad

(5 Posts)
Scruffyhound Mon 27-Dec-10 10:16:31

I did not want to go around to my DP's house for chirstmas with my son as me and DS used to live there and the dog was always an issue. She used to yap at him and be around his feet all the time so much so I stopped my son from going down stairs in the house I had to move back home as it was stupid. She tried to bite him once and I told DP about it and he told his mum and step dad and his sister but no one did anything about it. So me and DS left. DP had a BBQ at the house and a friend has a little girl I warned them about the shitty dog no one listened and she got bit Dp's mum and step dad were away it was his sister who said oh she will be ok. I was so pissed off with them for not listening to me and had a missive argument with the sister. Anyways back to the current situation me and DP now live togther and are expecting a baby together (my DS is from my ex husband). DP's mum invited us all over for chirstmas I said I did not want to go as DS was with me my mum has just got divorced and she was invited as well and had not yet met DP's mum. My mum said there will be loads of us there it will be ok. I got sucked in by everyone and we agreed if the dog was ok with my DS we would stay if she was going to be a pain we would leave. So we got there and no yapping no nothing she was great with him. He got her some treats and he sat with her and fussed her she was fine. Then DP's sister was tickling my DS and the dog jumped up and bit my son she did not puncture but drew blood and left two scratches under his left arm pit they were nasty. I have a dog my self who is massive and a lurcher and is not nasty at all my DS loves her. But this thing is something else its a Jack Russel. I dont think its the dogs fault as the training is not existant in that house they are treated like spoilt brats. It annoys me loads so it can get away with it. I said to everyone in a very angry tone were never coming here again this is the second time and it needs sorting. So if they want to see my DS or there first grandchild they are NEVER going around there again. I feel like a bad mum and feel I should of put my foot down about christmas day this will never happen again. Also Ex husband prob thinks I dont give a shit. I really do I feel so bad about it. I should not listen to people when my gut says NO!! what do you guys think? Im not going around there again as I just want to kill the dog I have never felt like that about any animal. angry

minimu1 Mon 27-Dec-10 11:18:11

I would not make this a big issue but learn from the experience.

Obviously the dog is not used to young children and is not kept under proper control in family situations.

I would calmly say that when you visit you would like the dog to be kept in another room or ask your owners to come to visit you.

I can hear and feel many dog owners hackles up as I suggest the dog is restricted in its own home! However I feel that the dog would be happier out of the way of the exciting atmosphere that it is not used to.

If however the owners are willing to train the dog to be calm in busy family situations then there would be a different solution. Equally very easy to do if they wanted to.

Don't be mad at the dog it has not been taught what to do and was probably as stressed as you are.

You are not a bad Mum you have had an experience that you will prevent from happening again - and keep all the family happy - that sounds like a great Mum to me!

midori1999 Mon 27-Dec-10 12:20:53

I agree the dog is best kept seperate. It's obviously not happy in busy family situtations or really with children in general, hence it feels it has to bite.

No serious harm done, so don't worry too much about your DS. These things happen. Hopefully your partners parents will realise they need to keep the dog seperate for it's own good as well as tyhat of visitors.

Ephiny Mon 27-Dec-10 13:51:55

I agree, some dogs prefer a quiet calm environment and don't cope well with the chaos and bustle of family life with small children. I guess if your SIL was tickling DS then he was wriggling around and squealing etc?

You might have a point about the ILs not training the dog properly etc, JRs are usually very energetic, intelligent little dogs with quite a 'fiesty' temperament, and need lots of exercise and mental stimulation and training or you can end up with problems. I've seen lots of cases where people have got one thinking it'll be no trouble because they're so little and cute-looking, but end up with a frustrated and snappy dog because they're not meeting its needs. I guess that's their problem not yours though. You're perfectly reasonable to say you don't want to take your son there again, unless they agree that the dog stays in a different room.

Scruffyhound Mon 27-Dec-10 16:46:08

Thanks for the feedback. I love animals and have had a Doberman and now my Lurcher. The dobeman I had well before I had children and she was dumped at the vets where I worked just after new year. The rehoming centers were full so I said I would take her home and see what happens. I fell in love with Jilly she was a lovley puppy. She was great went to puppy classes and was a good dog. One day my mums husband took her out (he loved her!) he was walking her and two staffie cross terriers attacked her (they were off the lead we also found out later that they attacked a little old ladys yorkie and she had it put down they also bit the lady so the dogs were put down owner was a horrible person). Jilly was never the same again she became agressive towards other dogs and people wearing hats. I called bark Busters and they helped. What Im saying is I have experiance of animals and a troubled dog and I know its not the dogs fault but the owners are no good at training her. I put the dog away from everyone when we had the BBQ and made sure she had water and food then DP's sister said whos put you in here all alone come out that why we had an argument. They dont care. I have had no messages since my DS was bit to see how he is or anything. So for that reason and the reason of them not really caring about what the dog does so it seems I will not go around there. And it makes me angry when I see them spoiling her stupid and not training her to do anything. So for that reason I cant go back there now. I love my lurcher (Sasha of Scruffyhound as I like to call her!!) shes big and fluffy and is sitting on the sofa next to me I know she is ok there as she is not an aggro dog and will get off if told to do so. The dog who Im not a fan of Tia climbs all over the sofas she is never told no when jumping all over people on their head shoulders and trying to get tot he face all the time. Im sorry I cant abide it they laugh. I wonder if that Tia ever got out which has happened a few times now and found a child playing in the garden what she would do? If my dog even went to bite anyone I would be so sad and repremand her and sort it out not just leave it and then ignor the fact. So yes people are right its their problem and no way is this baby going around there until its sorted but by past experiance Im certain they wont and that sepaks volumes. Thanks again for your messages much appreciated. grin

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