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Need a bit of support - new Puppy.......

(34 Posts)
inmypants Sat 13-Nov-10 08:40:56

We got our Border terrier puppy on Tuesday and on the whole has been OK however yesterday afternoon and this morning just feel so overwhelmed by it all.

She is very clingy and needs to be with me permanently when I am at home or cries like mad. Obv this isnt ideal as I need to do all sorts in the house and she is confined to the kitchen and playroom. When she starts crying I thien find she is doing loads of wees which must be stress related as she is being taken out at least 1x/hour after sleeping playing, eating etc etc so if I then crate her she cries in there but does on occasion just get into her bed to lie down - but I have to shut her into it.

Our 2 adult ( but young 2yr old) cats hate whats going on and confine themselves to upsatirs - I miss them sitting on my lap and they show no signs of accepting dog - dog in turns thinks they are amazing and wants to chase them....

On top of this dh working really long hours so fairly useless at helping although I did just take myself to bed at 9 last night and told him to deal with her.....

Aaaargh i'm just worried we've made a huge mistake even though she was much wanted..

Please give me some support - feel like i've got baby blues!

she hates the car and cries constantly.....

activate Sat 13-Nov-10 08:43:45

if you can't spend the time with her and training her and playing with her and loving her then yes you have made a huge mistake

she sounds really really stressed - she's a baby

inmypants Sat 13-Nov-10 08:49:48

Thanks for your comment - Not sure its the suppor I really need though.

To be clear I have been with her at home since we got her bar taking my son to school and collecting him ( hour round trip each way)

When I have needed to go out longer to a c doctors appointment yesterday a friend came in and puppy sat for me so she has been left for no more than an hour on her own. But if I am not able to go upstairs and change the sheets ( this is what I tried to achieve yesterday) and she did 3 wees within about 10 minutes not sure what I am to do?

We are all spending huge amounts of time whith her infact ds was off school on thurs and spent all day with her in one way or another....

Please don't jusge when you don't know the facts....

She has no other accidents otherwise she has done them all outside..

inmypants Sat 13-Nov-10 08:56:48


minimu1 Sat 13-Nov-10 09:14:08

Getting a new puppy is a major change and can be really hard work but it will get better I promise!

I wouldn't worry about the cats usually they sort themselves out quite well and will probably be ruling the roost in a few weeks.

You may have to put things on hold for a couple of weeks as it does sound likw yo have a clingly little chap. However a happy dog is one that has learnt to deal with stress and be on its own on occasions.

You need to be very confident around this puppy and not let it get any negative vibes. So if it wees inside take no notice and "cheerfully" clean it up. When you leave the room do so in a bright an cheerful manner and when you come back into a room that the puppy is in do not acknowledge the puppy. Puppy learns it is no big deal when you leave.

I would restrict the puppy to a couple of rooms for a week or two as nervouse pups find it easier to settle down if they do not have the run of the house.

What are night times like?

Always feed your puppy in the crate and frquently through the day drop treats in to the crate so that if they go in they find yummy things!

If you do have to change the sheets etc just ignore the crying. Try not to leave the puppy for hours obviously but for a few minutes the puppy has to learn it is ok to be on their own. Personally I would try not to leave for longer than a few minutes to start with as then the puppy will settle in quicker and things will get more settled quicker.

Hang on in there it is hard work and having a stranger in the house who does not know your language and routine is hard for everyone but soon that stranger turns into this loving bundle that thinks you are the best thing in the world!

activate Sat 13-Nov-10 09:15:51

sorry I find it difficult to be supportive or offer support because I don't know what you want

puppies are like babies and need you like babies do particularly in the first few weeks

you've brought a new puppy home and leave it alone for 2 periods of an hour a day - I don't think that's fair

dogs aren't cats

inmypants Sat 13-Nov-10 09:20:21

thanks ...those are really useful tips - would you recommend a good puppy treat the ones i seem to have found seem to be quite big and she is a little one... 9 weeks tomorrow - the ones at the vet which were pedigree ones seem to suggest they were from 4 months only...

Night times she is very good indeed and hasn't cried during the night at all - we have put a cuddly dinosaur in there which is about her size which she 'loves' a lot and a hot water bottle ....

I havent been feeding her in the crate so will do that

I hope my op didnt give the impressions that i was other than committed but i did just feel like crying last night..

30andMerkin Sat 13-Nov-10 09:23:52

Ok, don't panic. There is a thread for New Puppy Owners which you'll see we ALL went through this phase pretty much (you'll also see that we career straight from one issue into another, just like children, but don't let that put you off! grin

Lots of people gave me support on here when I was feeling the same, and it does get better. How old is your terrier?

I am by no means an expert and I'm sure someone more experienced than me will come along soon, but tips I found that worked for the early days were:
- they sleep a lot when they're very young so do the bare essentials when they're asleep! Let everything else slide (just like a baby...)
- tire them out with lots of games and training and being taken out and about. Plus toilet training and feeding this takes a shed load of time, but it's worth it.
- REALLY work on the car thing. Ours comes in the car with me everywhere because it makes such a huge difference to my day - e.g. drive to supermarket, let him out for a wee, do shop (45 mins in car alone with windows ajar and alarm off), short drive to nearby woods, walk = dog happy, walked and not alone for more than an hour. Me going to supermarket without dog = dog left home alone for 2 hours, not so good. (Obviously this won't be possible when it gets warmer but by then he'll be old enough to be left at home for longer).

Does she have a travel crate? Spend some time putting her in the travel crate with a treat and giving her a cuddle, then just sitting in the car with her (not going anywhere). Then start the engine and do the same... Then short journeys etc etc, building it up. If she's not being sick then it's probably not travel sickness, just stress, but you don't want her to get to the point of being sick with nerves.
- Likewise work on the crate at home. We didn't shut the crate door on ours overnight until he was a good few weeks older (can't remember exactly, think it was about 14 or so), which meant his bladder was a bit bigger and he could go through the night longer. In fact really quickly he was going 10.30pm - 7am without any noise at all. We started with the crate door open overnight, and toys and small treats in there to encourage him to wander in. The downside is that we did effectively 'allow' peeing (on pads) in the utility room overnight, which we now have to un-teach. When we moved to shutting the door we covered it completely with thick blankets to make it dark and cosy, and I sat with him in the pitch black until he'd laid down and settled for the first few nights.
- Get The Perfect Puppy, which has a good section on how to teach your puppy to be left alone (few minutes at a time, not an hour am afraid)
- Socialise her like mad, she sounds nervous (in your arms if needs be until vaccinated).

Another book (I think it was the Culture Clash, anyone else know?) suggests 'umbilical' training - i.e. attach the dog to yourself with a lead so it accompanies you everywhere around the house. That way you can reinforce acceptable behaviour and be on the look out for needing toilet stops, without leaving her alone. Sounds like it might work for you, but I wouldn't do it without reading some guidance first.

30andMerkin Sat 13-Nov-10 09:25:33

Argh, and while I was writing my essay someone more experienced did come along, listen to minimu, she talks sense! smile

30andMerkin Sat 13-Nov-10 09:27:29

Oh, and sounds like you are shutting her in the crate overnight (better than us!) so ignore that bit! She'll soon settle in it during the day for a short period - I still use the blanket trick if I want to encourage pup to settle and nap in the day though.

30andMerkin Sat 13-Nov-10 09:31:15

And 'Get The Perfect Puppy' is a book, not an order!!(missed that word out) wink

inmypants Sat 13-Nov-10 10:04:36

Thanks for all these - clearly I am getting conflicting advice as friends with numerous dogs have told me that leaving her in the the crate for up to 2 hours at a time no problem.... Obv I havent done this and don't want to .

For the hour school r'trip I am torn between taking her and her being stressed in the car and leaving her in her crate and being stressed for a short period - ( she is always asleep when I get back) and my cleaner who was here the other day said she cried for 15 mins then went to sleep in crate ( she has 2 broder terriers herself) so not sure of thes best thing to do.

I will work on the car thing

Again any recommendations for treats for the puppy??????

8oreighty Sat 13-Nov-10 10:11:51

This is normal. This is me two weeks ago. Hang in there. Everything will get better! Look like you are doing everything right and getting some good advice. Big hug.

30andMerkin Sat 13-Nov-10 10:20:16

For treats, tinsy tiny bits of chicken (Buy a cheap packet of thighs and boil them up, then stick in freezer and take out one at a time, will last quite a while). Or cheap cheese. If you go to training classes you need something like that that they can smell.

I think 'Puppy Coachies' (available from Pet shops & Vets, small pink foil bag) are suitable for very young dogs, but I don't have a pack here to check.

Tbh I gave ours Wainwrights puppy treats from quite a young age and only recently realised that they say 'suitable from 4 months' on them blush, although our dog is bigger so no danger of him choking etc, and they were hypoallergenic. If your vet sells something similar just ask their advice.

Also break treats up into tiny pieces so you can give lots and lots of rewards everytime they do good.

FlameGrilledMama Sat 13-Nov-10 11:07:42

I remember when I first got my dog as a puppy I was crying my eyes out saying we had made a horrid mistake.

I also cry my eyes out when I managed to concieve both times saying we made a big mistake when baby is born, and when I bought a house. It is a big responsibility and sometimes when it hits you just how much responsibility it is you can often feel a little sad, but it does pass. Just because you cry over these things does not mean they are not what you wanted.

minimu1 Sat 13-Nov-10 11:43:00

Tiny bits of cheese or chicken are great treats.

It sounds like you will be ok if nights are ok. Just gently and slowly.

You did not sound like someone that does not care just the opposite and had a moment of panic at the enornmity of it - you will be fine

lol at flamegrilledmama I am with you on most of those things espcially the conception!

Whe the puppy is bigger no problme for leaving for a couple of hours but build up to that. The more places as well that you can take the puppy even if you are carrying in the early days the better

minimu1 Sat 13-Nov-10 11:44:00

God my typing is worse than ever sorry can I blame it on the fact I am waiting for a client in a freezing cold field and my fingers are cold and it is my iphone - no? ok no excuses rubbish typing!

abr1de Sat 13-Nov-10 11:48:47

Get a babble ball. Every time the puppy noses it it gets a silly American voice telling it something like 'Oh boy' or 'You got me'. It will drive you mad but captivate your puppy--during the day. Kongs are good as well, stuffed with something suitable for a small pup.

activate Sat 13-Nov-10 12:07:37

I woke up grumpy this morning and think I owe you an apology OP - sorry!

inmypants Sat 13-Nov-10 12:48:01

No worries activate - you have no idea who I am or what my set up is and I know there are so many horror stories -

part of my problem is that I want to do everything right and like babies you can't 'control' them as such as this wonder I only had i child! Feel a puppy is the most I can manage!

But thankyou mn as you have given me some more =ve vibes have just been out and got treats and some more hideous toys! whilst bonkers is with ds and dh - typically she fell asleep! is now wide awake and, well, bonkers...

iloverhubarbcrumble Sat 13-Nov-10 16:49:16

laughing here - lots of +ve advice - mine is do not panic!!! - the first two weeks are appalling, especially if you are inexperienced. Chill, devote as much time as poss to the puppy, and don't try to do anything else much - maybe for a month or so. It will improve so rapidly.

Our puppy now 5 months old. She is such fun now. I wanted to send her back (joke) at 11 weeks. We used to put her in her crate at 8pm and have a huge glass of wine. (Well we still do that actually, but drinking no longer essential to sanity.)

Good luck grin

MadameCastafiore Sat 13-Nov-10 16:51:00

A dog that young shouldn't be walked that much either - 20 minutes a few times a day is plenty.

JustDoMyLippyThenWeWillGo Sat 13-Nov-10 17:00:08

We too went through this with Irish setter pup last year - kept threatening to put her on ebay grin and felt sooo guilty cos didn't love her (felt like very evil person.

Puppy phase very wearing,and people helpfully kept saying she wouldn't mature til 3 shock. But now she is lovely and my big friend, don't despair.

inmypants Sat 13-Nov-10 18:48:21

Thankyou again - about to crack open wine as have had another dramatic day....seemed to have developed some awful gnawing thing on her back paws absolutely awful so ended up at the emergency vet and a steriod injection....
Seems a little improved now but now weeing every 5 mins which I think must be a side effect of the steriods...

Think she must have trodden on something in the garden...

Lovesdogsandcats Sat 13-Nov-10 19:31:23

Why can't she have the run of the house in the day?

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