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Dispatches - Growing Up Poor

(270 Posts)
TurquoiseKiss Tue 03-Dec-19 10:59:48

Did anyone see this? I'm half way through on catch up - very tough to watch.

Bluebutterfly90 Tue 03-Dec-19 12:42:18

Just finished watching this myself, I recorded it last night.
Unfortunately I had a similar upbringing in the 90s, and I'm so angry that children are still suffering in this way, or even worse.
The current system just isn't working if so many people are having to resort to food banks and charity.
I live around Cambridge too, so we see the inequality regularly and it just seems to be getting worse. As the show said, so many people are one disaster away from being in the same boat.
All I can think about is how many people we could actually help if the super rich and the corporations in this country would just pay their bloody taxes.
I'll get off my soapbox now, but yeah, really upsetting that this is the reality in 2019.

MrsMaiselsMuff Tue 03-Dec-19 12:53:55

I've not watched it yet, but did see a comment on Facebook suggesting that families buy an Aga to keep warm. FFS.

I know through charity work how bad things are, and for so many families. One particular group we're seeing more and more of is families with either a disabled child or a disabled parent. Families that used to get support and respite but now are left to it.

Too many people are happy to turn a blind eye because it doesn't affect them. I have tried having rational conversations with them but all I get back is "that's nice dear" hmm

TurquoiseKiss Tue 03-Dec-19 12:57:57

Agreed, so many of us are one big expenditure away from being in a really tricky financial situation. Hearing Rose's mum say funerals were expensive was heartbreaking when she was talking about having to arrange her own daughters.

Good to see Danielle's mum moved in to a nicer home, and Courtney's family were very brave making the move to Hull for cheaper rent.

Can't help but feel the MH issues and depression suffered by some of the parents will only be exacerbated in their situations? Wishing them all good luck going forward.

Zoflorabore Tue 03-Dec-19 13:03:01

Am also half way through on catch up but need to go to a church event for dd’s school now. From what I’ve seen so far ( the first 2 children’s stories ) I’m shocked at how little food was in the home.

I’m in a poor area myself and due to a recent change in circs have had to make a claim for Universal Credit but we’ve got a good start on food etc. I know one family who live like this but that is down to both parents being alcoholics and cocaine users which angers me.

Will report back once I’ve watched it all.

longleggedgal Tue 03-Dec-19 13:04:55

I haven't managed to watch it yet but hoping to tonight with my two teenage daughters. I think it does kids good to watch things like this to show how others live. I'm not well off at all I'm a single mum to five but I've brought them all up to be generous and good hearted. Me and my eldest did a toy drive this morning to a local charity that helps kids like these who will not be getting anything this Xmas because their parents can't afford it. We took 10 toys and 10 selection boxes that we'd brought between us it cost £50. We decided to not get are monthly Chinese in nov and instead support the charity. It's a shame people are in this situation in these times but if everyone just gave a little something it helps loads.

HigherFurtherFasterBaby Tue 03-Dec-19 13:06:40

I’ll be watching once DC are in bed. I don’t understand how more people are not absolutely furious about this level of poverty in 2019.

Although most seem to think of it as “their own fault” and have zero sympathy.

longleggedgal Tue 03-Dec-19 13:06:39

Our

hanahsaunt Tue 03-Dec-19 13:13:33

I haven't seen it yet as I was at a school meeting last night. Whilst there one of the parents shared that they had hosted a city school for a farm visit earlier in the day. Three children had been unable to come as they didn't have coats to wear and the school had given out all their spares. One of the children was utterly bewildered having been removed from a different county 100s of miles away to here because it was a cheaper authority in which to be housed. The teacher told her of the children who don't eat over weekends. There are children in our lovely very middle class rural school whose families don't have money to spare but they do have enough to eat and clothes to wear. I know about the visible poverty, the foodbanks, the school holiday schemes to make sure people can eat in the holidays, the spare uniform quietly given out in some of our local city schools but children who can't go on school trips for lack of a coat and children who cry because the coat they do have got muddy which will make mummy cry because they are in a motel without a washing machine - it was just quite shocking. We do some but clearly we will do more now that the reality has been brought into focus.

HeIenaDove Tue 03-Dec-19 14:09:30

Unfortunately the people who NEED to watch this............wont.

Northernsoullover Tue 03-Dec-19 14:15:37

I had a period of time on Income Support where I was on my arse due to the difference in my rent and the amount I received on HB. Watching this last night made me realise that although it didn't seem it at the time I was a damn sight better off than these families. Largely due to the fact that it was over the summer. If I'd had to do a winter like that I'd have probably been in the same boat.
I wonder if there is anywhere we could donate towards fuel so that people don't have to go cold? I'm off to Google...

diege Tue 03-Dec-19 14:58:14

I thought it was heartbreaking and took me back to the financial effects that we as a family suffered after a bereavement and a recent hospital diagnosis. The buoyancy of the children and their quiet acceptance of the situation ('mum says we don't have that kind of money') broke my heart.

avocuddl Tue 03-Dec-19 15:30:43

I've just started watching and it's heartbreaking.

jenthelibrarian Tue 03-Dec-19 15:45:27

I watched this in angry disbelief, wept buckets over it.

It's inspired me to see if I can volunteer locally for CAB or something similar, we already donate to food banks.

We need basic standards of decent housing, support for mental health services, some sort of simple state non-rip-off funeral provision [that poor family where the daughter died of cancer broke my heart] and that's just for starters.

avocuddl Tue 03-Dec-19 15:51:47

Me too. Going to pop to Tesco soon- think they're donating an extra 20% to any donations at the mo

FoamingAtTheUterus Tue 03-Dec-19 16:00:41

We grew up in very similar circumstances but at least had.home security (( my mum owned our house. )) Most of my clothes as a young child came from the people who she used to clean for, they'd offer up hand me downs so at least I did have good, quality clothing.........teenage years were hellish. There just wasn't the money for fads and trends.

My brother educated himself out if the situation and took full advantage of the system in the 90s. All of us have made having the security of a roof over our heads a priority, other than one sister who is in a similar situation to the.lady in the programme. She's a carer for her disabled DC and racking up debts from the bedroom tax. She can't win, her eldest DC lives in a residential college Monday to Friday so she's pretty much lost all her benefits for
her (( that was her choice as she wanted her to have the experience )) but must be available for all hospital stays as college staff won't support plus all holidays and weekends so can't work. She has to keep the 3rd bedroom to be able to have her son stay as he needs his own room yet isn't exempt from the tax. She's been housed miles from town (( why do they always put housing estates full of poor people miles away from all amenities ?? )) So is frequently walking 6 miles (( 3 miles there and back )) to buy cheap food because her benefits don't stretch to bus fares. And that's shit at this time of year. Plus at the weekend her daughter still needs entertaining and all support now needs funding via her pip. All of this is paid for when they're children yet as adults when respite etc is needed more than ever they're often penalised twice.

I didn't feel that poor tho (( looking back I obviously was )) I think social media makes everyone a lot more aware of both what they're missing out on and how other people are living.

AuntieMarys Tue 03-Dec-19 16:34:48

That poor girl doing her GCSEs. And failing them. I hope the school are supportive.

dottypotter Tue 03-Dec-19 17:04:20

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

dottypotter Tue 03-Dec-19 17:05:18

They always say they are poor yet have money to smoke drink and have pets.

TamingToddler Tue 03-Dec-19 17:09:46

@dottypotter I'll go ahead and assume you didn't watch this show then? All the families had a sudden change in circumstances/ fleeing domestic abuse/partner leaving. Didn't see anyone smoke and drink either, and no pets either.

Agree it was horrific watching and really really sad.

UtuNorantiPralatongsThirdEye Tue 03-Dec-19 17:13:06

biscuit for you dotty

Pinkandpurplehairedlady Tue 03-Dec-19 17:15:49

If I knew how to do the biscuit I’d be giving Dottypotter one.

I’m on full universal credit after working all my life because of mental health issues. I’m also a single mum of two - what would you like me to do? Send them to live with their dad simply because he works and doesn’t need benefit top ups?

Bluebutterfly90 Tue 03-Dec-19 17:17:09

'So depressing' that people turn to the government?

If our government exists only to help people who can already help themselves then it has failed.

dontalltalkatonce Tue 03-Dec-19 17:19:36

Wow, the Tory bots just can't resist a good dig.

diege Tue 03-Dec-19 17:24:54

What a horribly ignorant attitude dotty
As others have said, the theme here is that unpredictable circumstances can land anyone in poverty. As I know from my own circumstances, terminal illness and suicide don't discriminate and can have a devastating impact on finance, regardless of background, career, family size etc.

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