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The EUROVISION its Bigger than Us 2.

(1000 Posts)
RedToothBrush Sat 18-May-19 21:22:37


1. Malta
2. Albania
3. Czech Republic
4. Germany
5. Russia
6. Denmark
7. San Marino
8. North Macedonia
9. Sweden
10. Slovenia
11. Cyprus
12. Netherlands
13. Greece
14. Israel
15. Norway
16. United Kingdom
17. Iceland
18. Estonia
19. Belarus
20. Azerbaijan
21. France
22. Italy
23. Serbia
24. Switzerland
25. Australia
26. Spain

Gooseysgirl Sat 18-May-19 22:58:43

Oh Christ I'm pissed as a fart and I could sing better than that

chocatoo Sat 18-May-19 22:58:46

A cape, stairs and only one this not a recipe for disaster?

BernardBlacksWineIcelolly Sat 18-May-19 22:59:07

well I'm going to be seeing advancing monks in my dreams tonight

Vagndidit Sat 18-May-19 22:59:09

Oooof! This is grim.

MillieMoodle Sat 18-May-19 22:59:09

This is shit. She's really flat. She sounds like me at karaoke. Not a compliment.

Pinkyponkcustard Sat 18-May-19 22:59:11

That cape and all those steps!!!

dillite Sat 18-May-19 22:59:12

On the plus side- her arse isn't hanging out

Still18atheart Sat 18-May-19 22:59:13

Hasn’t Madonna no learnt that she and steps on live tv is a bad idea

Mylifeisboring Sat 18-May-19 22:59:14

Madge - stop walking down those stairs in the big dressing gown !

SisterFarAway Sat 18-May-19 22:59:16

Sounds like a not-quite-so bad Karaoke rendition

Whisky2014 Sat 18-May-19 22:59:16

Wow shit
Plus...robes and stairs this went badly for her last time!

LizzieSiddal Sat 18-May-19 22:59:16

Shit, did she not fall down the stairs at the Brits?

She’s playing with fire!

Wincarnis Sat 18-May-19 22:59:17

Autotune not working Madge?

Greeborising Sat 18-May-19 22:59:18

“Just like a child”
I actually gasped😳

norrismcwhirtersfridgemagnet Sat 18-May-19 22:59:19

This is like me coming down the stairs from the loo just now.
Shit she's terrible. Sobs...

NomDeQwerty Sat 18-May-19 22:59:24

Fair play to her. She was never a singer but this is ok

FannyTassles Sat 18-May-19 22:59:25

I remember watching that live...

Is she flat on some of those notes?

greenelephantscarf Sat 18-May-19 22:59:25

omg - she's so out of tune it hurts

Myimaginarycathasfleas Sat 18-May-19 22:59:24

Give her credit, she's doing better on those stairs than I would at this stage in the evening grin

JustDanceAddict Sat 18-May-19 22:59:35

Oh dear, she’s completely out of tune. Wtaf. dD and I are cringing

NomDeQwerty Sat 18-May-19 22:59:41

Yes flat.

SisterFarAway Sat 18-May-19 22:59:48

Shit, did she not fall down the stairs at the Brits?

She fell up

Catbot Sat 18-May-19 22:59:55

Jaw. Dropping.

Housewife2010 Sat 18-May-19 23:00:02

Why is she here? Has her pension pot run dry?

FannyFeatures Sat 18-May-19 23:00:02

Is there a puddle at the bottom of those steps??

Greeborising Sat 18-May-19 23:00:02

Oh dear oh dear oh dear

LizzieSiddal Sat 18-May-19 23:00:03

She sounds dreadful.

EskeewdBeef Sat 18-May-19 23:00:04

Christ alive. She's making the contestants look like pros.

FannyTassles Sat 18-May-19 23:00:10

Oh great...just what we need...duracell batteries.

BooksAreMyOnlyFriends Sat 18-May-19 23:00:10

Out of tune but I'm quite teary hearing this. I loved madonna as a teen. She was with me through some crap times.

youngestisapsycho Sat 18-May-19 23:00:15

Dear God.... the Aussie was better!

AlecTrevelyan006 Sat 18-May-19 23:00:15

well, at least she's singing live...

PickleC Sat 18-May-19 23:00:17

Ooooh nooooo. All those rehearsals and her one good eye can't find any of the notes

MillieMoodle Sat 18-May-19 23:00:18

On the plus side- her arse isn't hanging out


Hoggytat Sat 18-May-19 23:00:20

Being careful down those stairs isn't she

EugenesAxe Sat 18-May-19 23:00:23

This is awful. She’s so out of tune. Never do this again Madonna 😞

Pinkyponkcustard Sat 18-May-19 23:00:27

It’s really missing the gospel choir

Jennie1978 Sat 18-May-19 23:00:38

It’s awful!

Clawdy Sat 18-May-19 23:00:40

This is dreadful beyond words.

banivani Sat 18-May-19 23:00:40

This is my childhood being MURDERED people

BernardBlacksWineIcelolly Sat 18-May-19 23:00:41


AnneEyhtMeyer Sat 18-May-19 23:00:45

She's totally lost all power and tune.

LizzieSiddal Sat 18-May-19 23:00:52

She fell up

Ahh that explains why she’s coming down this time grin

user764329056 Sat 18-May-19 23:01:19

What complete garbage

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll Sat 18-May-19 23:01:20

All those yawning and tapping their watches to see if they've stopped, bear in mind that, for all participating countries apart from the UK, Ireland and Portugal, it's at least an hour later. Two for the hosts, where I believe it's now around 1am - before voting has even begun.

Why doesn't it start at 7pm? Did the BBC originally pull some strings to get it to start at a nice time for us and stuff most of the rest of Europe? Did we get to call the time in exchange for our hefty financial contributions whilst France got the token bilingual voting for theirs?

AnneEyhtMeyer Sat 18-May-19 23:01:21

Everyone's a fruit and nut case as the advert used to go....

Whisky2014 Sat 18-May-19 23:01:22

Oh my god

norrismcwhirtersfridgemagnet Sat 18-May-19 23:01:23

Everyone's a fruit and nutcase

Mylifeisboring Sat 18-May-19 23:01:32

She has lost it now

SisterFarAway Sat 18-May-19 23:01:32

Tchaikovsky is turning in his grave

FannyTassles Sat 18-May-19 23:01:35

"Are you my mummy"?

Jellykat Sat 18-May-19 23:01:39

Has she finally lost the plot???

dillite Sat 18-May-19 23:01:40

WHAT THE FUCK????? gas mask wearing priests????

EskeewdBeef Sat 18-May-19 23:01:42

She can talk in tune.

FannyTassles Sat 18-May-19 23:02:06

@norrismcwhirtersfridgemagnet - Yes!

LetsGoFlyAKiteee Sat 18-May-19 23:02:10

We waited for this?!

EskeewdBeef Sat 18-May-19 23:02:15

Miming now of course.

norrismcwhirtersfridgemagnet Sat 18-May-19 23:02:18

Oh thank fuck- auto tune

noodlenosefraggle Sat 18-May-19 23:02:22

pinky yes the gospel choir made this song. Oh dear Madonna. Why didn't you mime?

RedToothBrush Sat 18-May-19 23:02:32
New Thread Alert

AppleDump Sat 18-May-19 23:02:34

Please let it finish

TheAssemblywomen Sat 18-May-19 23:02:40

OMG...this is awful...Madge wot u doin...

Myimaginarycathasfleas Sat 18-May-19 23:02:39

They've cranked up the auto tune. All the way up to eleven.

FannyTassles Sat 18-May-19 23:02:50

Jayzus - we'll need a third thread to get through the votes...are you still awake @RedToothBrush and on the case?

RageAgainstTheVendingMachine Sat 18-May-19 23:02:55

Jesus. What's happened to Madonna? She's usually good live. What on earth? Or has she lipsynced in the past and this is how she actually sounds? Elton John must be laughing his ass off.
She's going to get crucified.

And what's all this shite about crimes - is she making a political statement? Who okayed this? scandalo

AfterSchoolWorry Sat 18-May-19 23:02:59


This is SO BAD.


wowfudge Sat 18-May-19 23:03:00

Is she flat on some of those notes?

I'd say all of them. Bloody awful.

Still18atheart Sat 18-May-19 23:03:01

This is so awful can’t stop laughing m. Clearly had too much to drink

Housewife2010 Sat 18-May-19 23:03:02

Is she singing with the mice from Bagpuss?

MillieMoodle Sat 18-May-19 23:03:01

This is the stuff of nightmares.

Greeborising Sat 18-May-19 23:03:08

Yeah banivani my childhood memories are crying in the corner

MissMary0fSweden Sat 18-May-19 23:03:10

Well I'm loving it. Batshit and brilliant.

Mind I don't think she could ever sing, really.

FannyFeatures Sat 18-May-19 23:03:27

Oooookkkkkaaaayyyy then 😂😂

LetsGoFlyAKiteee Sat 18-May-19 23:03:30

Woooo autotune!

LizzieSiddal Sat 18-May-19 23:03:32

It’s like something the local
Sixth form college has put on.

FannyTassles Sat 18-May-19 23:03:32

You are some woman there @RedToothBrush, fair dues to you smile

JaneJeffer Sat 18-May-19 23:03:35

There ain't enough alcohol in my house for this

RaptorInaPorkPieHat Sat 18-May-19 23:03:43

My god this is going to run soooo late this year...

At least the auto tune has kicked in.

She's even made San Marino look good.

NomDeQwerty Sat 18-May-19 23:03:50

This is very scaffold but it's interesting. And she was a mistress of reinvention back in the day

Pinkyponkcustard Sat 18-May-19 23:03:51

Not everyone is coming to the future...


Aridane Sat 18-May-19 23:03:58

Even though the slovenia song was creepy to watch.. It's growing in me

I agree - but was too embarrassed to type that

RedToothBrush Sat 18-May-19 23:04:07

She goes lost in a Hollywood Dressing Up Box

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll Sat 18-May-19 23:04:41

Well, if this teaches us all one thing, it's that we owe Mr San-Marino-Dentist-Man a huge collective apology for putting him at the bottom of the singing talent pile.

Goodness, it's Sparky's Magic Piano meets school band now.

Icantreachthepretzels Sat 18-May-19 23:04:48

I came on specifically to find out what people thought of Madonna's performance. I have a tin ear (not literally) and thought she sounded dreadful and out of tune - I was wondering if it was just because I'm tone deaf. But apparently not...

the white robed, horse head people are ... well, it's a more flattering outfit than Madonna's at least.

Lucked Sat 18-May-19 23:05:14

Is she singing with the mice from Bagpuss?


Housewife2010 Sat 18-May-19 23:05:28

Yay. She's fallen off the stage.

banivani Sat 18-May-19 23:05:31

Ooo intentional fall.. very meta.

JaneJeffer Sat 18-May-19 23:05:47

Housewife grin

AlecTrevelyan006 Sat 18-May-19 23:05:57

well, that was a bit shit

wintersdawn Sat 18-May-19 23:05:58

Whose flags were on the backs of the last two walking up the steps?

Hoggytat Sat 18-May-19 23:06:08

That was terrible. No wonder rehearsals were in secret.

Dowser Sat 18-May-19 23:06:34

Predictable and boring

That was dreadful.

What a cringefest

Redcrayons Sat 18-May-19 23:06:37

Was that it?

Deadheadstickeronacadillac Sat 18-May-19 23:06:50

Well Madonna was the worst act of the night and that says something

derxa Sat 18-May-19 23:06:53

I loved that

norrismcwhirtersfridgemagnet Sat 18-May-19 23:07:01

Oh thank fuck. The voting . COME OOONNNNN NIL POINTS

CoolCarrie Sat 18-May-19 23:07:08

She could never sing, lets be honest!

BernardBlacksWineIcelolly Sat 18-May-19 23:07:15


madonna said so

Stopyourhavering64 Sat 18-May-19 23:07:23

Israeli and Palestinian flag....

AppleDump Sat 18-May-19 23:07:24

@Hoggytat that's so funny 😂

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