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Bear Grylls and his stating the bleeding obvious

(28 Posts)
Hassled Sun 25-Sep-16 22:20:09

"It's hot on the island". Really?
" Humans need water to survive". No shit.
"If the slebs don't get any food they're going to feel hungry". You don't say.

Ok I might be paraphrasing but his only role is to squint into the sun and say stuff that your average 6 year old is aware of. I could do that job. Maybe I will.

MayhemandMadness01 Sun 25-Sep-16 22:22:53

But he says it with such ..... whats the word ..... it'll come in a min ....... ah yes - smugness

Hassled Sun 25-Sep-16 22:46:22


DoreenLethal Sun 25-Sep-16 22:50:37

Dom joly being so excited about eating a lump of dry wood. Ace.
Dom joly being a lazy fucker and the rest of them being too scared to say anything. Ace.
Fish hook in the finger. Ace.
That bloke from the hotel being in charge, will be ace.

Same time, same place. Fuck off bear grills, you utter twat, where are you anyway? In a hotel in Miami probably.

CurbsideProphet Mon 26-Sep-16 20:22:59

Have you seen the Bear Grylls puppet Newzoids? Very funny!

I'm catching up with sleb island now. So much whinging. Didn't they know what the whole show is about? Clearly their agents brushed over the details grin

Hassled Sun 02-Oct-16 21:23:08

Anyone still watching this enjoyable shite?

It's been bugging me who Ollie Locke looks like. I've finally worked it out - Joan of Arc.

OnceThereWasThisGirlWho Sun 02-Oct-16 21:49:26

I can't believe how mean they are being to Mark considering he was the only one actually trying to get on with doing anything! How can they bitch about him trying to get them dinner?
Karen comes across as a manipulative cow. Wanting to run everything and be the boss but not actually do any work.
And now the rest of them have realised they need to go hunting, urgently, they are leaving out poor Mark who's idea it was in the first place.

I'm finding this version far more depressing than the others. All ego rather than teamwork or brain cells. Completely dysfunctional community.

OnceThereWasThisGirlWho Sun 02-Oct-16 21:51:08

Oh and Dom is so, so annoying!
<wonders why I am even watching this> grin

Hassled Sun 02-Oct-16 21:54:46

The non-slebs were way more efficient at the actual food-gathering stuff.

Mark is annoying as hell, but someone needed to take charge.

OnceThereWasThisGirlWho Sun 02-Oct-16 22:01:34

I find the others more annoying as he is actually realising what needs to be done. Tbh I hate group politics irl too, wish people would just get on with it!

Glad they let him hunt in the end

MrsJayy Mon 03-Oct-16 10:35:11

He should be saying Marks crazy eyes are a bit scary or Doms lying about is lazy 😂 his newzoids puppet is very funny

MrsJayy Mon 03-Oct-16 10:36:32

Olly Locke is hilarious he is so ott

BelladiNotte Mon 03-Oct-16 18:35:19

hassled you made me laugh grin and how come ollie's pink shirt still looks so, well, clean? Love Ollie.
When that turkey just 'wandered' into the camp (the one that even then they didn't manage to catch) anyone else get a feeling of deja vu? Didn't a little piggy just 'happen' to wander into a previous camp in the last series when they were all starving? Hmmm..
That politico girl is just plain annoying. She'd drive me to cannibalism. Or at least fantasise about it. Likewise DumboDom, the lazy sod.
Mark's great! Tho his evident weight loss and gaunt face is scary.

MrsJayy Mon 03-Oct-16 19:19:22

Ollie sends the shirt out to be laundered 😊 i have this weeks to catch up on

CurbsideProphet Mon 03-Oct-16 21:59:02

I was also wondering about Ollie's shirt! Maybe he took a fortnight's worth in sterile sealed bags grin

CurbsideProphet Mon 03-Oct-16 22:00:51

I thought Karen was a former Labour councillor, but she acts as though she is part of the cabinet hmm

MrsJayy Mon 03-Oct-16 22:07:03

Ollie Locke would walk out of Armageddon. With not a hair out of place and pristine I'm not convinced he is a real boy grin

OnceThereWasThisGirlWho Tue 04-Oct-16 14:52:28

When Karen said something like "I've seen a lot of people like him in politics and they never last", I was like, oh, you mean people who actually want to get on with the job at hand rather than play political games? No wonder the country is in a mess... shock grin

Dom seems to be trying to be as annoying as possible. <sharpens spear>

I reckon they pack Ollie away every day along with the day's filming and camera batteries, and the crew replace him with a fresh one for the next day...

Oh btw this was raised on another thread for a different series, but the women seem to remain very hairless in these shows... I'm guessing they have an "essential" supply of razors? And suncream?

MrsJayy Tue 04-Oct-16 15:03:06

Aye no hairy pits is there actually it might all be filmed in 1 day then they go to Bora Bora for a holiday

CurbsideProphet Tue 04-Oct-16 18:12:50

MrsJayy my DP and I discussed that last week grin as it really doesn't seem possible they could go a whole week without organising food. All they seem to do is go out in a big group and clomp about making a racket, then be surprised that they don't come across any turkeys etc. I'm sure those 2 turkeys that arrived in their camp this week were put there by the "safety team"!

Tigresswoods Tue 04-Oct-16 21:00:54

Just watching episode 3 it's bordering on abuse leaving them there with not a clue & all those sand flies.

If I was one of those "celebs" I'd get the hell off & make some massive donation to the charity.

Hassled Tue 04-Oct-16 21:09:06

Oh I'm sure the turkeys were ushered in by Bear's secret minions. And they were so pointed towards the good water/nice beach the other week. Next week they'll accidentally stumble across a hamper from Fortnum and Masons.

MrsJayy Tue 04-Oct-16 23:08:22

Hassled 😊

Powergower Tue 04-Oct-16 23:17:22

It's all so contrived and bear says the same things in every episode. ...'to survive you need to be persistent and positive ' 'they need to eat soon' .....

My ds said he's so bloody smug. Handy that the turkey walked into camp. ...

OnceThereWasThisGirlWho Wed 05-Oct-16 03:20:16

So, who would you like to see on the island instead of these celebs?
I am clueless and don't know who most celebs are but I had a mad thought earlier about Derren Brown being on the island and hypnotising them all into efficient hunters/water gatherers/shelter builders. Whilst he lay on a bed of palm leaves occasionally poking the fire.

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