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Mastercheffians - have you heard the heartbreaking news?

(33 Posts)
squoosh Thu 11-Aug-16 13:35:11

Our favourite hunky greengrocer Gregg Wallace has just married his (fourth) true love and is now sadly off the market. I know this will hit many of you hard.

"I think she'll be pregnant by the time we return from honeymoon!" Wallace told Hello magazine. What a lucky lady she is. If only we could all be granted a fortnight of sexy Wallace time.

We must endeavour to support each other at this difficult time.

MorrisZapp Thu 11-Aug-16 13:36:10

He actually said that? Fucking hell.

stareatthetvscreen Thu 11-Aug-16 13:36:34

<feels quite ill>

TheSpottedZebra Thu 11-Aug-16 13:37:19

He met her on twitter.
He met no 3 on twitter too.

Damn you, Internet.

ihatethecold Thu 11-Aug-16 13:38:55

Grim!

ParadiseCity Thu 11-Aug-16 13:39:09

I wonder if they will make a jizzy omlette baby?

TheSpottedZebra Thu 11-Aug-16 13:39:11

John Torode was his best man, appara.
But I'd read before that they're not really friends, that they don't see each other outside of filming.

Do you think he insisted on a new best man per wedding, and ran out?

Tiggeryoubastard Thu 11-Aug-16 13:40:21

His sex face wanders off feeling faint and nauseous

squoosh Thu 11-Aug-16 13:41:02

I can see why all these women fall for him......

Gruach Thu 11-Aug-16 13:42:20

<Cancels Twitter>

squoosh Thu 11-Aug-16 13:45:44

He's the most modern man isn't he? Meeting two wives on Twitter. If he had access to Facebook he'd be setting up a commune by now.

Tiggeryoubastard Thu 11-Aug-16 13:49:17

Let's hope he never joins mumsnet. The sheer number of quivering ovaries would cause an earthquake.

ElspethFlashman Thu 11-Aug-16 13:56:09

I seem to remember Wife #3 saying that he's a total manchild who basically marries looking for a mum. He does that learned helplessness thing and requires his wives to do everything, including managing his work, laundry, house, wardrobe, diaries.......

Thats why they all eventually fuck off.

KittyKrap Thu 11-Aug-16 14:00:47

Didn't the last wife he was with for five minutes end up living with his children? I forget. I'm trying not to drool..confused

youngestisapsycho Thu 11-Aug-16 14:03:09

Is he the one with the dodgy teeth?

GrouchyKiwi Thu 11-Aug-16 14:05:31

"I think she'll be pregnant by the time we return from honeymoon!"
That's so grim. Why would you even say that?

Why did you not tell us that he's not coming back to the show next year? sad

polyhymnia Thu 11-Aug-16 14:52:16

I don't bother with all the other Masterchefs but do like Masterchef, the Professionals. Only thing that blights it at all are his inane appearances, which add nothing.

Memoires Thu 11-Aug-16 16:59:39

What? Shouty Greg is off the market? Again Dear oh lor, I don't know what we shall do.

UncontrolledImmigrant Thu 11-Aug-16 17:00:56

Give it a year and he'll be back on the market, not to worry

<boak>

squoosh Thu 11-Aug-16 17:02:32

Memoires pop a low cut top on and take a busty selfie. Use said busty photo as Twitter profile photo and then wait patiently..............

LadyMonicaBaddingham Thu 11-Aug-16 17:03:07

Vomit emoji is needed here. I can't stand him, he makes me feel quite ill.

Queenbean Thu 11-Aug-16 17:04:28

Do you think me makes pudding face while he's shagging?

PlanD Thu 11-Aug-16 17:04:42

Oh godddddd! I didn't think my repulsion towards GW could grow any more. But it has. That's a talent, Greg.

NapQueen Thu 11-Aug-16 17:05:26

Wonder if their wedding cake had a buttery biscuit Base?

squoosh Thu 11-Aug-16 17:07:26

.

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