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Born Naughty

(33 Posts)
SurlyCue Thu 28-May-15 20:55:35

Is anyone watching tonights episode? I'm finding it quite hard to watch/listen to thomas' mum shrieking at him the way she is. Cant she see him with his hands over his ears and realise she is making a stressful situation worse? Why not take it down a notch and speak calmly instead of shrieking. I'm hoping with his diagnosis his parens will be given guidance in how to de-escalate situations rather than. Add to the volume/tension.

lightgreenglass Thu 28-May-15 21:00:06

I found it shocking that he hadn't yet been diagnosed as he seemed to have classic traits of HFA. Surely at school someone would have picked something up?

SurlyCue Thu 28-May-15 21:02:09

Yes 4 years they have been trying to get a diagnosis! Why so long?

Noeuf Thu 28-May-15 21:27:36

Watching on catch up. I keep getting side tracked by worsening they'd sit and eat with Jensen rather than stick him in a hi g h chair on his own.

SurlyCue Thu 28-May-15 21:32:28

Yes i wondered why they werent eating together at a table or at very least eating together in the living room. His mum set food on his tray then kept going back to the kitchen.

cosmicglittergirl Thu 28-May-15 21:34:48

I would have liked to have heard what Thomas's teachers thought.

Noeuf Thu 28-May-15 21:36:13

It just seems one of those really basic things doesn't it? Eat with your child, model good eating and tasting but he's almost on display.

Timetoask Thu 28-May-15 21:38:14

Thomas' house was extremely chaotic, I felt like diving in and giving everything a good clean !

Noeuf Thu 28-May-15 21:40:49

She looks quite embarrassed - I hope they do give some support as you can see how easy it would be to worry when he's had the allergic reaction.

SurlyCue Thu 28-May-15 21:41:21

I thought it was quite chaotic but i am aware i have issues with order and wasnt sure if it was just that I would struggle in it or that it genuinely was chaotic or just a normal family home.

SurlyCue Thu 28-May-15 21:43:36

I also thought Thomas' mum was quite detached from him. When he was showing her the box of toys/lego he found at the meeting she was unresponsive. Not even a "oh that's nice" just nothing!

Noeuf Thu 28-May-15 21:46:36

To be fair nine years on you can't maintain enthusiasm for rock collections Lego on an hourly basis...

SurlyCue Thu 28-May-15 21:55:16

Oh yeah totally, i get that, i am sure she is sick to the back teeth of lego (i am) so i wouldnt expect enthusiasm, but there was no response. You dont just ignore youre DCs when they speak directly to you to show you something? Especially when you are sitting there with no other distractions/children and are specifically there about that child? Wouldnt you be even slightly focused on him? I think she seemed to lack some basic interaction skills. Possibly something she needs help with as well as thomas needing help.

Noeuf Thu 28-May-15 22:00:46

I don't know, she looked exhausted by it all - 4? Dc, toddler, dog, cramped house, no diagnosis or help, I'd have tried for the cameras I suppose!

MrsTuppence Thu 28-May-15 22:07:45

I wondered actually whether she might be on the spectrum too - she looked so very distant and locked in somehow. Very sad really.
But yes, the chaos of the house and how much he wanted to get away was painful to watch.

TeaAddict235 Thu 28-May-15 22:13:04

I know that it must be difficult keeping up interest in one thing for sooooo long, but you must be able to say, "yes darling, that's brilliant" when your child drones on about something that you are not remotely interested in like lego. If they can spend two minutes attending to the animals on a daily basis, she should be able to give her son equal time.

SurlyCue Thu 28-May-15 22:16:44

It crossed my mind too mrsT perhaps she already has a diagnosis but chose not to have it discussed on camera. Although if that were the case you would think Thomas' diagnosis would have happened far quicker? Who knows. I agree though, 4 DCs, one with additional issues, school refusal, cramped chaotic house etc, enough to zap every ounce of energy from a person. Perhaps she was just zoned out for a few minutes. I did notice a lack of interaction in general on her part but that one stuck out. Maybe she just isnt comfortable with the cameras.

HardcoreInternetFriend Thu 28-May-15 22:24:27

I also found it strange that the toddler was always eating on his own, that won't have helped things!

defineme Thu 28-May-15 22:29:15

The boy with hfa dx's parents have been on the 'age gap' love series, which seems a bit odd to be serial reality tv people, but then I know Steph and Dom from Gogglebox started on 3 in a bed and then got picked for that. But also odd that he was already attending a sn saturday sports club...possibly further down the dxroute than they implied?
I was shouting 'give him a shed' at the TV. .. we have made our spare room my ds1's den as his asd means he finds our noisy pet and child filled house quite full on too. I really empathised with the mum's instinct that something wasn't right and also
how utterly ground down she was.
My nt kids found it very helpful watching a programme about another child's route to dx and asked lots of questions relating to their brother. Brilliant that this is on tv. I know my inlaws felt it was an insight into the kind of experience our family has.

Instituteofstudies Thu 28-May-15 23:06:26

The thing I found the strangest and hardest to get my head round was that up to this, no one had seemed to suggest Thomas may be on the AS. I am not a medic, have no personal experience of Autism, but straight away I thought his traits and behaviours suggested that's the issue. I can't believe his school hadn't flagged it up? Or his GP? The whole family have had no support and the poor lad was utterly miserable a lot of the time, when he should have been getting help.

Tutu1000 Fri 29-May-15 00:25:47

I found tonights episode quite upsetting as the boy Thomas behaves like my son. We are currently undergoing autism assessment for my ds1 who is nearly 10. I have been voicing my concerns about him since he was 18 months. Despite concerns from SALT and teachers we were never offered any assessments until I went to the GP and basically demanded it. Ds1 is currently in a mainstream school and whilst his teacher is aware of some quirky aspects of behaviour they would say he is doing ok. However he just about manages to hold it together at school and then has a meltdown as soon as he gets home most nights. I can well believe that they can have had concerns for years, but not been able to get help.

As for the shouting at him, not engaging with him. I also agree with the previous posters who say when you have coped for 10 years with the demands and obssessions of a child like that you have to learn to zone out yourself in order to be able to go on. It sounds awful, but sometimes it's the only way to get by. My ds1 can exhaust me just by talking to me and it is constant, about the same thing over and over, and it's not really a conversation, he's talking at me. I thought she just seemed worn down and at the end of her tether.

I hope now they have the diagnosis things have improved for them all.

TheFirstOfHerName Sat 30-May-15 22:42:43

I have been watching it as I have a child with a diagnosis of Asperger's and ADHD. The Asperger's diagnosis came when he was 9.

Something that struck me about Thomas' mum is that she seemed to show no emotion and rarely smiled, even just in a social way. I wondered whether this was a sign that she herself has autistic traits, or whether she has depression.

LarrytheCucumber Mon 01-Jun-15 20:30:19

I had similar thoughts TheFirstOfHerName.

FujimotosElixir Thu 04-Jun-15 20:04:40

anyone watching? 3 hours of bedtime t
reading? shock

undoubtedly Thu 04-Jun-15 20:09:33

Thanks for the reminder - just switched on.

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