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At least Fantasy TV Men Aren't Wankers! Musketeers Appreciation Thread XI

(1000 Posts)
MalcolmTuckersMistress Fri 28-Mar-14 21:47:30

Is Constance pregnant? Is Anne pregnant? Who is in that coffin? Why is Aramis's chin so very shiny? Will Richelieu go out with a bang?

So many questions. Enough of the plot now! The most important one still remains. Just WHO would you chose first?

Please join us on what could be the last thread of the series (depending on how much we can fit in between now and Sunday night!)

We've had a lot of fun here, and it's never too late to join in!

Part one

part two

part three

part four

part five

part six

part seven

part eight

part nine

part ten

DrinkFeckArseGirls Fri 28-Mar-14 22:35:31

Yes, Richelieu will bang me wink.

MavisGrind Fri 28-Mar-14 23:22:10

Just checking in, in case I loose you all

<silently weeps, wipes back tears so no one notices. In a cellar. Carries on fighting assassins. >

HannahHorvath Fri 28-Mar-14 23:46:58

I woz ere 28-3-14


HannahHorvath Sat 29-Mar-14 00:12:20

^ ^ spaniels ears ^ ^

Not to be confused with fingers wink

Twit Sat 29-Mar-14 08:34:56

Can't think of anything clever/funny to do.

Oblomov Sat 29-Mar-14 08:48:04

Finally. Found.

AnneElkMiss Sat 29-Mar-14 08:55:50

Well Hellooo there ladies. After 10 hilariously funny laugh out loud threads, I thought the final Sexmas Eve of the series (sob) would be as good a time as any to finally delurk and join you all if I may. I would have done so threads ago, but your sheer rate of random blabbering level of commitment and my lack of belief I could match up against your erudition and eloquence of wit kept me lurking in the shadows.

However with all this speculation on plot lines (yes, plot chat....who'd have thought!), I got to wondering how they could maintain the Athos/milady tension and have developed a theory....I've not read that far into the book, so if it resembles the original story in any way, apologies for being boringly predictable.

Anyway, here's my theory (ahem) I reckon the real reason why milady did for delaferetheyounger has to come out - he did something vile to her and because he was everybody's favourite no one would believe her - but it would be something that would justify her killing him. So, rather than hating her, our gorgeous hero can go back to feeling guilty and tortured for originally having her hanged. She is then thrown in the Bastille, from where he secretly help her to escape. She finds another evil patron and sinks back into the shadows so she can continue being devilish, but this time Athos can't resist her when she returns periodically every episode to ravish him.

They get a bit of bed action, we get a bit more billowing, open even more, shirt action, and Athos gets to remain miserable and self loathing (just the way he likes it), cue lots of piercing bedroom eyes and leaning.

So whaddaya think? More holes than the real plot writers??, I'll fit right in then smile

Heres my list btw:

As Musketeers - Athos
In RL -Tom Burke (but he'd have to arrive in full Athos costume on that gorgeous black horse)

So, sorry Hannah, Comtess and all the others on the Athos spreadsheet, you'll have to budge up a bit, I'm about four and a half years pregnant, and if I don't get a go, I will get very hormonal on yo ass - chin jut, clicks fingers realises I'm a middle class white woman from a small northern town and really can't carry that off Fortunately, in my lecherous fantasies, my massively distended front side completely disappears and I magically revert to the taut athletic body I had 10 20 years ago.

I may hang on to the impressively hoikable bosom however.

QueenAnneofAustria Sat 29-Mar-14 09:07:23

Marking for later.

But all of you get your backsides back to the other thread. We are not finished!!!

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sat 29-Mar-14 09:09:03

AnneElk welcomesmile

Now can you please sod off to thread IX, which isn't finished yet? There's a good girl

HectorVector Sat 29-Mar-14 09:15:24

I have been watching you all with interest and to admire the Athos pictures. What are you all going to do once Sunday evening is over. sad

HectorVector Sat 29-Mar-14 09:16:07

Oops so you've not finished your other thread - whoops.

HannahHorvath Sat 29-Mar-14 17:42:12

Drink you fackin cunt!


MalcolmTuckersMistress Sat 29-Mar-14 17:45:03

Hello hello! I don't know why you say goodbye I say hello! Very nice to meet you sexy wench Elk plus wriggly internal one.

Good wenching and now we are over the 10,000th post!! We are clever wenches.

I've had a brilliant day! No idea if I'm still a bitch of evil to my H, but not arsed about it now. I'm switching off from the situation that upset me yesterday and no longer having anything to do with it. I've said my bit and I'm leaving it there.

I'm about to have a bath because I stink of horse sweat and leather. I know Armand finds it particularly arousing but I'm going to have a Prosecco before making tea which is going to be toasted sandwiches because everyone has stuffed their gobs today and no one is actually that hungry. (I've had 6 chocolate biscuits and a crunchy bar. I did have sushi though so I'm not all bad!)

HannahHorvath Sat 29-Mar-14 17:50:17

<bursts back onto thread>

hello hello hello <runs round snogging and groping all present wenches>

Hello Comtess <grabs flange> <mwah>

Hello Letus <squeezes both boobs makes honking sound>

Hello Drink, you twat. <kicks drink in foo foo>

Hello Madame <licks up and down face> I've got a stbexp/exdp - it's shit. Hope you reach conclusion. Be happy, and if you want to talk abaaaat it - bring it. Or drop into clinic, I won't charge you. Our decision is well and truly made. The process of separating has just begun, and ain't it just a barrel of larfs.

Hello Cinnamon part timer <arse pinch is all you deserve>

Hello Elk - I love the image of a suckling infant hiding within your corset. Hadn't even thought about maternity wench wear. That is a whole other fund raising market we can tap into.

Who have I missed?.....

Oblomov Sat 29-Mar-14 17:54:30


HannahHorvath Sat 29-Mar-14 17:55:14

Tell you what. Why don't you all sod off now that I'm back yeah? <PA>

Oh look, you already have.

LetUsPrey Sat 29-Mar-14 17:56:52

Hello all wenches.

DS1 is having the mother of all pre-teen hormonal meltdowns. Super.

Send Porthos round for tonight. I.Am.Cross.

HannahHorvath Sat 29-Mar-14 17:58:46

Oblom! I'm so sorry my lovely...

<shoves hand up short skirt and jabs Oblom on bum hole just for fun>

How you doin? How's tings at home/hangover? Don't have to talk abaat it if don't want to. Just thinking of ya that's all.

Malcolm - words cannot describe the state of my aggressive arousal at thought of you all sweaty horse stench and leathery. Are you jelly blobbing to The Voice tonight? Am going to attempt live watching for once.

HannahHorvath Sat 29-Mar-14 18:03:08

Anne, ooh Anne, I too, think your muff looks just fab-u-luss darling. How will he be able to resist.

Good thing about beardy men I guess, is that they won't feel any minge stubble on face will they? <thinks hard> ....but can they still with tongue? Lips I imagine would be a yes, but tongue I'm not so sure. Tongues are weird aren't they? Can we take a vote....I would like some feedback on this matter.

LaComtessdelafere Sat 29-Mar-14 18:04:33

<parps Hannah's tits too cos it was funny and I want to be as funny too> <envious>

Drink that was a beautiful bit of placement. You lot are giving me incontinence and incompetence problems.

Malcolm, < gets into bath, bagsies non tap, starts to lather up > delighted you've had a nice day. You fully deserve it for starting us off on this fabulous journey. Talking of which, what time is the minibus arriving tomorrow?

Showing how ridiculous I am, I browsed for French booze today and have a pricey bottle of Chateau De La Fere ready to swallow down at Showtime tomorrow....

HannahHorvath Sat 29-Mar-14 18:13:56

I love Stink and Drink. Can you both do something together, so we can use that more often.

If you got together, not only would you be our first outed lesbian wenches. You would get clear rotas, or at very least could haggle for priority on the Constance, Milady, Queenie rotas.
Buuuuuuuut the best bit and the whole point really would be, that we could call you StinkDrink or DrinkStink or StinkyDrink or some other mash up like wot the young uns do these days.

On that subject.... we've not yet done this have we!

HannOs or AthNah or Hathos ..... who would you be?

Drinkal <- hahahaha like you don't already or Drinkloo hahaha <over tired hysteria> or RichArse ooh that's nice. Like that.....

Right then you iganunt bunch. I ham orf. The water is cold, and dinner is waiting to be cooked.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sat 29-Mar-14 18:14:13

Hell YES! Jelly blob extreme. I can't wait. Might even have another Crunchie and dip it into my prosecco.

HannahHorvath Sat 29-Mar-14 18:16:37

Badge of Creative Use of Wench Names is awarded for pulling Drink/Stink together for first time in ten threads. I hope you are feeling proud of yourself. You should be. thanks

MadamedeChevreuse Sat 29-Mar-14 18:19:52

Right. I am in the pub on my own watching the football. Hope he appreciates the irony of this. He can do effing dinner and bedtime on his own for once. Mtm - I like the way you roll. Hannah - youre wonderful and lovely and do please book me in for a slot when you can face it. <squeezes hannahs tit>

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