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Dreams Of A Life - Joyce Vincent - Channel 4

(149 Posts)
SoleSource Thu 07-Feb-13 22:24:41

Are you watching?

What are your thoughts?

Booyhoo Fri 08-Feb-13 22:40:35

life seems to come easier for some than for others doesn't it.

NightingalesOde Fri 08-Feb-13 22:50:24

I can really sympathise with that Booyhoo. Sometimes they mellow as they get older, they fear loneliness, death and realise that the carers in an old people's home will not brook any of that critical nonsense!

Booyhoo Fri 08-Feb-13 23:02:28

oh he has mellowed in ways and in others i think he has gotten worse. i just know what subjects are safe and which to avoid. i make a point of always proudly announcing my dcs acheivements (even just tiny things) to him. sort of to let him know that my dcs are not fair game and that i will not partake in belittling them so he daren't try and also to try and make him see that there are other ways he could have been with us. i dont know if that has worked or not but i'm not going to stop. my dcs will get the praise they deserve.

SoleSource Fri 08-Feb-13 23:04:14

Three whole years!
I wonder if she was going to deliver the presents to old friends or family too

Booyhoo Fri 08-Feb-13 23:21:27

apologies for thread hijack sole

i wonder how close to xmas she died, whether she would have labelled them and delivered them. i wonder if she'd done it the year before.

SoleSource Fri 08-Feb-13 23:24:14


Nooo its our thread

I just wish I was her friend

I wonder if she.knew..her neighbours

SoleSource Fri 08-Feb-13 23:26:46

4seven, freeview 47


SoleSource Fri 08-Feb-13 23:37:22

Shortly before Joyce died she with an asthma attack. Her next of kin was her bank manager! sad
I don't have next of kin either. No.joke.

SoleSource Fri 08-Feb-13 23:38:38

Martins Father was racist therefore Martin did not want 'tinted' children.

Booyhoo Fri 08-Feb-13 23:40:19

something changed. something happened to her to trigger her withdrawal. someone who wasn't in the film will know what.

Booyhoo Fri 08-Feb-13 23:43:03

yes that's right, i remember him saying that. do you think that affected her answer when she said she didn't want to be with him the second time?

SoleSource Fri 08-Feb-13 23:46:27

sad yes oh scary

I wish she'd have rung me, because I would have helped, becaise I love you, Martin.

If only she'd have known

I suspect there was a possibility he' d not made that clear?? Or he did

Teats are flowing now, the end scebe with her beautiful, soft, kind face.

SoleSource Fri 08-Feb-13 23:49:52

Yes, didnt want to rske over.old ground was her reply.

Her Father was Black, her Mother Indian. According to friends she didn't have many about her heritage. She loked into tbe petson to decide if they were wirth kniwing or nott.
f I had a time machine..

Booyhoo Fri 08-Feb-13 23:56:23

why didn't people try harder to keep her in their lives? she was such a lovely person, she seemd so alive and ambitious with her singing, she enjoyed her fashion and style, why didn't she have shopping buddies? why didn't the music friends want to promote her and see where it went? i dont blame any of those people, i just dont understand it. sad

SoleSource Sat 09-Feb-13 00:09:35

I have a hunch that things became awkward so she left people. Maybe their relationships with their parents made her think.about what she had lost/never had. The lonliness resurfaced and in the end the only way to escape this constant reminder and her demons was to.withdraw.

You can see from my thread Booyhoo how I understand what.might have xaused Joyce to end alone.

NightingalesOde Sat 09-Feb-13 00:15:56

Sorry for going off topic too SoleSource smile

I think that she was a very good actress and she may have said that she was doing this or that, she was so proud, that in the end it isolated her.

I agree about the shopping buddies, perhaps people always ended up asking too many questions and wanted to know more about her? I suppose it's a natural instinct.

When the black boyfriend (sorry, can't remember his name) said that she had no interests, I thought that was a bit unfair and a dismissive viewpoint - it sort of debased her identity to little more than appearance and a voice, which cannot have been true when she had so much vivacity. She had sung in a studio and put her voice to a record (how many people can say they have done that?) surely she was interested in music? As Sole has said, she was probably interested in fashion, plus she would have naturally have acquired knowledge though her job (was she working in a Treasury department or was this just something she told people?) She would have certainly have had a good geographical knowledge of London after living all over the capital, she would have had opinions on the good and bad places visit, the bars and the restaurants, and it was known that she liked to go clubbing and performing.

It is quite difficult to have no interests in any way, perhaps what they meant is that she didn’t feel proud to say what they were and to explore them and deepen them or that she just wanted to forget herself and make whoever was in her life her main focus to make them happy. Many women tend to do this in relationships but not everyone descends to a lonely death. I wish one of her sisters would explain more.

DoctorAnge Sat 09-Feb-13 00:20:08

This film has really touched me too.
I feel so much for her and almost feel she withdrew from the hard nature of life when a beauty grows older and things get more serious.
She seemed to blossom and thrive in the transient, youthful atmosphere of the communal homes and hustle and bustle. But that doesn't last forever. She didn't survive the next step.
She just wilted like a flower. She didn't cope.
So tragic but totally understandable somehow.

Booyhoo Sat 09-Feb-13 00:24:20

i'm wondering if she happened to gravitate towards self involved people who didn't ask her anything about herself, didn't ask her what she got up to on her day off or where she gets her hair done. maybe she did that deliberately or sub consciously, but yes i agree she was bound to have some interests that weren't extensions of who she happened to be with at the time.

did anyone notice an edge to the woman with the very curly hair? i think she was her flatmate at one point. i got the impressions she didn't really like joyce TBH.

Booyhoo Sat 09-Feb-13 00:25:22

i'll go as far as to say i felt she seemed jealous of joyce.

SoleSource Sat 09-Feb-13 00:26:05

Me too Booy

I did not like her. Cold, snob!!! Probably jealous.

Ifonly Joyce had had Mumsnet back then!!!

Booyhoo Sat 09-Feb-13 00:29:30

god yes! she could have had all the support without having to explain herself to anyone in RL.

SoleSource Sat 09-Feb-13 00:30:45

sad too late for her wasn't it?


Imagine how many lives this site has saved?

SoleSource Sat 09-Feb-13 00:31:38

But we have no idea what the cause of death was.

NightingalesOde Sat 09-Feb-13 00:33:51

Yes, the transience and power of beauty, she was at her best when making an impact, as the guys fondly recalled her wearing her powder blue, spray on dress! Why not, if you are young and have it going on! The addiction of turning heads and creating a buzz at a party must have been a highlight of her week, she felt wanted and desired. Her friends started settling down and the guys who were not good, perhaps were no longer entranced as she wasn't a newcomer.

On the website, it says that she worked at Ernst, some women can immerse themselves in their job and manage to reach a level of seniority where asking too many personal questions is not a sign of respect, what stopped her getting to that level? Was she late or missed too many days through depression?

Do you think that she would have used Mumsnet had it been around?

SoleSource Sat 09-Feb-13 00:46:03

I hope she would have. In her flat on her phone. One or two reads and the site is addictive.

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