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Related: Film discussion forum.

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Related: Film discussion forum.

Telly addicts

Anyone watching Adopting Abroad?

33 replies

GlaikitFizzog · 08/09/2011 21:44

It's so sad :(

I missed the first part, so I'm a bit confused do they just hand out babies based on if the ophanage owner likes you?

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SazZaVoom · 08/09/2011 21:45

Pretty much . They have passed a full UK adoption panel though.

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peggyblackett · 08/09/2011 21:47

I am crying eyes out (21w pg hormones to blame). So sad that no-one had fed the poor wee scrap for 4 days, and so upset by the notion that someone would want to return a baby if it wasn't in A1 health (I'm glad that she changed her mind on that one).

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SazZaVoom · 08/09/2011 21:48

Me too Peggy, although i fear she might rethink it if the baby does look like she has Thalacemia (sp?) or had tested positive for Aids

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ButHeNeverDid · 08/09/2011 21:49

I missed the first bit. Why is she adopting?

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peggyblackett · 08/09/2011 21:50

I know Sazza :(

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GlaikitFizzog · 08/09/2011 21:51

She had IVF for their son, but I think theycouldn't do any more cycles.

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GlaikitFizzog · 08/09/2011 21:52

She is so tiny

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thefirstMrsDeVere · 08/09/2011 21:52

I am not commenting of overseas adoptions generally. Some of people I have utmost respect for have gone through incredible things to adopt their children.

But this, this is different. I dont like it. There is something I dont like about it.
It doesnt seem right.

But there is SO much wrong with what is going on I dont even know where to start. Its a massive mix of terrible problems.

All those babies. Thousands of babies left in desperation. The birth mothers never ever knowing what will happen to their children. If they have lived or died.

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OllieinOrange · 08/09/2011 21:53

They agreed as a couple only to do one cycle of ivf when trying for baby number two. Its a fascinating programme.

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GlaikitFizzog · 08/09/2011 21:55

I know MrsDeVere, I can't understand why she would want a camera crew following her for something so personal and private. It's a bit uncomfortable to watch.

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thefirstMrsDeVere · 08/09/2011 22:05

I am sure this child will be loved and have a great life.

I am not against adoption from abroad.

Its the utter misery that leads to these babies having to be adopted in this way.
I am also concerned that people will think this is normal and acceptable.

It doesnt seem anything like what the usual experience is for overseas adopters I have met and talked to.
But I suppose they dont have the money or a camera crew behind them.

I also have my reservations because I read an article and the woman said she wanted to adopt a girl. I suppose that would be more likely in India anyway but it was the way it was reported or the way she came across.

Didnt like it.

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TheWorldKeepsSpinning · 08/09/2011 22:08

I saw the first half and didn't like it. She was acting like she was shopping for a daughter. I got so annoyed with her when she was trying to get a paediatrician to examine the baby. It like she wanted an AA inspection on a used car or something.
It was so sad to hear that most of the baby's the foundation comes across are dead

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piratecat · 08/09/2011 22:14

think you have to have watched the first part op.

they went thru lengthy british adoption process first. they wanted to help a baby from Pakistan. At the end of the day the woman who runs the place in Pakistan is in charge, and she has to approve of the person. 20-30 dead babies a week are brought on average or maybe it was a month.

I think she was being honest about the ill health thing. What a situation. She was honest that she didn't know how to react, how a terminally ill baby would impact on their lives. I think she was brave from the offset.

They decided to give IVF here one try, and if it didn't work they would adopt from Pakistan. I am quite sure they had enough money to fund more attempts.
My eyes were opened for sure. Really glad that little girl has a chance.

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TheWorldKeepsSpinning · 08/09/2011 22:17

The little baby was so sweet with her big alert eyes. I'm sure she'll have a great life.

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maxylou · 08/09/2011 22:19

I had mixed emotions watching it, didnt really warm to them in the first part but thinking about the time she had to spend away from DP and DS and her reactions at the hospital i came round a bit.

I thought the orphanage seemed a cold place and the women there seemed the same but im sure its just the language barriers and possibly the tv cameras being off putting

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thefirstMrsDeVere · 08/09/2011 22:27

I read that the woman who runs the place is a virtual saint despite the way she comes across.

The work she does is phenomenal.

If I had just seen this programme though, i would have thought the same as you maxy.

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TheWorldKeepsSpinning · 08/09/2011 22:35

ThefirstMrsDeVere Edhi and his wife are just amazing. The work they have done is phenomenal.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abdul_Sattar_Edhi

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TheWorldKeepsSpinning · 08/09/2011 22:35

Agreeing with you not repeating you

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5inthebed · 08/09/2011 22:38

I missed it tonight but will watch it tomorrow on catch up. The first part was very interesting. Will add my full thoughts after I watch it. Haven't read the thread yet.

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GlaikitFizzog · 08/09/2011 22:48

I didn't realise it was the second part until I'd started watching it, so to me it just looked like she pitched up in Pakistan and ordered a baby.

I totally agree that little Amara be loved and looked after now. In that situation you probably do have to go in thinking with your head re illnesses and the like, but to see someone going through that thought process was uncomfortable, but as ssoon as she had the baby in her arms I don't think a pack of wild dogs would have been able to drag her away.

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lisad123 · 08/09/2011 22:49

I sat crying. I watched the first half and liked the husband but wasn't so keen on her, especially her attitude towards if the baby was sick, but she made it clear it was because of impact on their two year old.
I softened to her this time, and knew as soon as she named the baby she wouldn't hand her back.
Beautiful baby and she will have an amazing life here, I can understand why they chose to adopt aboard, babies are few and far between here and there are so many there!
I wonder though if she has a clean bill of health and how saira family have reacted to it all.

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nomiddlename · 08/09/2011 23:06

I don't think she was being unreasonable asking the paediatrician to go with her to the orphanage. She was obviously thinking that it was better emotionally to not have taken the baby away from the centre and have her checked there, rather than take her, get to know her and then take her to hospital, only to pootentially find out she had a life threatening disease/difficult illness.

I understand that people might think her selfish for not wantingto adopt an ill child, but in reality, what parents would hope to have an ill child? None.

I think it was a bit strange having a camera crew following them around but I thought she was very respectful of the culture and seemed eager to do everything correctly and not cut corners.

I think at the end of the programme she still seemed in shock and therefore didn't seem quite as attached as I'd imagined she would be but the dad, Steve showed more emotion at the airport than he did throught the whole of part one.

And baby Amara was simply beautiful.

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peggyblackett · 09/09/2011 06:17

The health check/ returns policy aspect still made me feel very uncomfortable. Of course no parent hopes for an ill or disabled child, but when you have a child biologically there is no returns policy - and it doesn't matter as you love them regardless. They may not have been what you were expecting, but they still need and want your love.

In defence of Saira, I agree that once she had Amara in her arms, nothing would have persuaded her to take her back :).

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nomiddlename · 09/09/2011 08:24

And also, she had already told her son Zac Amara's name before she'd had the health check so in her heart, she knew she'd be taking her home as long as she lived.

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lisad123 · 09/09/2011 12:06

I think thats why the ophanage doesnt allow health checks onsite. No parent in their right mind would hand a child back after longing for one for so long, and taking it home for a week! And knowing what your sending it back to. It was clear as soon as she told her son about it, she was keeping her