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Nigel Slater......ARRRGGGHHH so smug!

(90 Posts)
geraldinetheluckygoat Wed 24-Nov-10 20:58:58

Isn't he?
Its all the little rubber sealed jars full of organic sugar and butter wrapped in brown paper. And the way he says cheese.

Bucharest Fri 26-Nov-10 08:18:05

Oh goody! I love bashing sleb cook threads!

Nigel gives me the absolute heebs. (I agree, his recipes are wonderful, and his books are lovely, but he is just so greasy)

Doesn't quite heeb me out as much as that dreadful Valentine slurpy slurpy sucky sucky man though. (can't remember his surname, just his cringey first one) did that thing on ingredients and kept slurping into fruit and veg in a way that if it were one of our children we'd slap 'em round the noggin for disgusting table manners. Ate everything in hoooooge portions and talked at the same time so we could see it all being masticated. Uck Uck Uck.

Nigella is still my goddess. (but she needs longer cashmere, lovely though it is to see a woman with a real belly)

Longstocking2 Fri 26-Nov-10 10:39:20

mayornaze oh yes. I have a secret penchant for the man and his floury hands.....

Who is Valentine?

Why oh Why can't anyone join me again in speaking with horror about that CaCa caCOW chocolate bloke what is his name? with the house in the south west and the gorgeous wife and the Boden catalogue kids?
The one who baked a pig in a hole in his lawn? Posh as hell?

Alibabaandthe40nappies Fri 26-Nov-10 10:43:50

I like his recipes, but I cannot bear watching him, or even reading his articles really because of the smuggery.

It is the casual assumption that we all have a garden full of a vast variety of herbs and vegetables that we can go and select from before we prepare our evening meal, argh.

Having said that, can I recommend his marinated pork chops with vermouth-braised fennel. Yum, yum!

Alibabaandthe40nappies Fri 26-Nov-10 10:45:00

Bucharest - yes he is dreadful too, and cannot speak so I can't understand how he ever got on television!

JulesJules Fri 26-Nov-10 10:57:30

Well I love his recipes, but can no longer bear watching him on tv.

Smug wankery.

Left over cheese? Oh, can it be a couple of square inches of dried up Cathedral City? It can not. It can be about 3lbs of various beautiful artisan produced smug cheese, wrapped in paper and tied with string.

Butter wrapped in brown paper. OMFG.

Longstocking2 Fri 26-Nov-10 11:00:13

Wille Harcourt-Cooze

Bucharest Fri 26-Nov-10 11:07:47

lol- was thinking, erm, posh, bakes pigs in the back garden, sounds like Hugh FW but gorgeous wife and Boden children just didn't compute.

After seeing Valentine with tomatoes I'm just thankful they don't grow mangoes in the UK.

lalalonglegs Fri 26-Nov-10 11:42:28

I shall join you Longstocking in your hatred of Willie and his toff's chocolate. Couldn't bear the way that we were meant to think he was some lovable eccentric and that this was a huge financial gamble: he's got an estate in Venezuela, he's living in one of the houses on his father's estate (I believe), he is obviously bloody well-connected (I'll just go and speak to my friend Marco Pierre White about my chocolate; I'll just get the nice people from Channel 4 to commission a series about "my struggle" and publicise my product for nothing). He is not about to go belly up hmm.

Longstocking2 Fri 26-Nov-10 11:48:35

and the wife is like Lady blahblah too isn't she?
I mean, that's fine and all but it's more false jeopardy as always.
And that xmas party and gorgeous mummy making gingerbread/ca COW xmas tree decorations in the AH GAH!
And the roasting HOG in the lawn and the heinous bodenfest was heave too far from me.
It's like Nigella's friends coming round for her oh so laidback xmas smackerals.....
it's all about that weird John Lewis aspirational lifestyle frenzy spend spend spend, be perfect, stick your tits out and dress your kids like they're just come out of some Finnish wigwam.

FreeButtonBee Fri 26-Nov-10 11:48:49

those of you with a crush need to read "Toast" - it may give you a sliver of hope...

I wanted to mother him after reading it; poor fella had a bit of a rough time of it. Also have the feeling he is slightly asp-y as well, which might explain the slight odd-ness on the telly.

Will have to keep an eye out for the tv version. Thanks Bustle!

BustleInYourHedgerow Fri 26-Nov-10 11:55:35

Yuparooney! Helena Bonham-Carter is evil stepmother and Freddie Highmore id young Nigel.

renaldo Fri 26-Nov-10 12:12:56

finish wigwam

renaldo Fri 26-Nov-10 12:13:48

That is exactly how SIL dresses her child
looks bloody stupid in the east midlands

IslaValargeone Fri 26-Nov-10 12:19:11

I am desperate to watch him after reading this thread, love his books but never seen him on television.
As for Willie bloomin' whatsisface biscuit

Longstocking2 Fri 26-Nov-10 12:30:00

LOL renaldo, the child as status accessory/dolly/pet/narcissistic appendage... I have stuff to do but I could go on!!!

I love nigel, he taught me to cook with real fast food.
He wrote me a letter in response to mine.
He is awkward on telly next to some more natural types (paul hollywood... swoon come to me with those flour hands, you're welcome to knead my bread..)

Sorry! confused blush

geraldinetheluckygoat Fri 26-Nov-10 13:19:40

Ohhhhh yeah, remember when Mr Ca-COW had a "white christmas" and they put fake snow in the garden so we could watch the whole family gambol about in it, in all their Nordic Jumpered glory?

And the time when we had to keep going to the "factory" with all those ridiculous brass ca-COW machines from 1823 which (surprisingly) kept breaking down, the wife in the background looking mildly irritated yet resigned?

The hog roast in the garden pit was obscene. I might do that this christmas, if i can find the grass under the debris of spent fireworks and assorted plastic tat...

MonkeySee Fri 26-Nov-10 13:21:35

It's the way he says:

A DISH of roasted plums.

So pretentious.

Vintagepommery Fri 26-Nov-10 14:09:53

I like his books but haven't watched his telly series but now I want to know does he say cheese??

bluebump Fri 26-Nov-10 16:47:15

I live in the same town as the Willie chocolate bloke, I often see him in the supermarket. He was renting that house that they filmed in as I recently saw it up for rent again, it is a lovely place. I bought some of his chocolate as I like to support the locals but I couldn't get it to make anything that tasted nice blush

geraldinetheluckygoat Fri 26-Nov-10 16:54:53

he says cheese like Wallace, just like ProfYaffle says!

Loving the insider info on willy, blue bump!

Longstocking2 Sat 27-Nov-10 12:08:50

LOL bluebump that kind of sums it up doesn't it?
Telly is so full of fiction in its lifestyle progs.

TorcherQueenie Sat 27-Nov-10 18:03:26

Valentine Warner is the guy you're looking to hate on grin he is a twunt though really not even accidently like Nigel.

GrendelsMum Sun 28-Nov-10 20:01:41

Oh, his books are great, though, and his artices on veg growing. I think that Nigel Slater should be forgiven pretentious cookingness on the telly because he is a really good food writer. As is Nigella, actually, although I think she's run out of cookbooks now. I used to cut each of her columns out of Vogue and stick them in my cookbook back in the day...

swanandduck Mon 29-Nov-10 13:18:53

I think he's great. A nice, calm change from all the shouty, bouncy, gimmicky chefs we regularly see on telly.
I also love his recipes and the way he relies on ordinary stuff he had in the cupboard or can buy in the shops, not endless fancy schmancy ingredients that you have to go on a big search for.

BelligerentGhoul Mon 29-Nov-10 13:29:07

I have said this before and I will say it again: I don't mind reading Nigel but there is very little of his stuff that I actually want to cook. None of it ever sounds like a proper meal, apart from the meat stuff (I'm veggie) - he seems to live on cheese, walnuts, tomatoes and icecream.

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