16yr old sis-in-law

[Janbo25]

Hi, my dh as got a sis who is 16 recently she has been talking to me frequently and asked me if i would go with her to go on the pill, because she doesn't want to tell her mum, also to get condoms for her. I feel i should so i know she is safe, but also don't want family to feel that i am going behind there backs??

[Mum2girls]

Blimey - that's a difficult one. Have you told dh?

[madmarchhare]

Id just go with her, Its not as though she is 12. She is asking for support, not permission.

[Janbo25]

no he knows i have been chatting to her but doesn't really want to know what his little sis is up to

[WigWamBam]

I'd take her, to be honest; at least she's being sensible enough to keep herself safe, and feels that there's someone she can talk to about it. I did the same thing for my little sister when she was 17 and kept it secret from my parents.

[Janbo25]

how strange does it feel though giving them sex advice!

[madmarchhare]

Have you heard some of them though 'these days', they seem to know more than I ever did!

[Janbo25]

yeah absolutely some of the terms i still don't know what they mean!!

[jessicaandbumpsmummy]

I would go with her. I wish I had someone to turn to when i was her age.... i went on my own and was petrified!

Good on her for being so responsible.

[Janbo25]

thats what i thought

[Blu]

Yes, support her. She's of a legal age, she just needs moral suport - and very sensible of her to seek advise from someone older and wiser.

It's not 'going behind their backs', it's respecting the confidence and privacy of a young woman doing something sensible and legal.

[Janbo25]

ty blu, i just didn't want to get challenged in the future but i agree with you. Its just hard to think of her as doing "that kind of thing!" lol

[runtus]

Just imagine how you would feel if you don't go with her and she ends up pregnant at 16 or worse still, catches something that could have been prevented by condoms?

Tricky situation I know and feels abit like piggy in the middle but lets face it, we all wish we had had someone like you at that age!

[Janbo25]

i know thats my feeling i have just bought her 12 condoms in the meantime, i'm not sure whether to keep it to myself and go or to talk to my dh or mil???

[WigWamBam]

If she wanted your dh or her mother to know, she would have gone to them. Don't betray her trust, she came to you because she trusts you.

[Janbo25]

ok, do you think if dh and mil ever found out they would respect her wishes and still understamd what i did?

[WigWamBam]

I think you're making too much out of this. She is over the age of consent, and she could go and see the GP on her own if she wanted to, so you are not going behind anyone's back. And no-one need ever know that you took her if you don't want them to.

If you can't handle it, then don't do it. You shouldn't feel pressurised into doing something for her that you don't feel comfortable with. If you're comfortable with it then I can't see the problem.

And bear in mind that if you go behind your SIL's back and tell her mother when she has asked you not to, you will have betrayed her confidence badly, and you will never get it back. Telling her mother that she's on the pill/sexually active is her decision to make, not yours.

[Janbo25]

thank you for the advice wigwam