Anyone else got a dirty dd? Its driving me crazy!!!!!

[mosschops30]

God I am so bloody about this.

DD started her periods properly last month, and thats a whole other story.
But anyway I have asked her to put her used towels in a bag and then take them out in the morning to put in an outside bin.
Yesterday she 'forgot' (said with that lovely teenage smirk) obviously I did it to make sure theres no smell.
Anyway same again this morning, she got up late after several 'snoozes' spent ages on her make up, then left stinking bag of towels from last night and this morning in a bag on the floor.

God I could scream , its not isolated, I have tried to encourage her to have a bath or shower daily during her period which she has ignored, she has to be nagged into bathing every other day normally. She often 'forgets' to put on deoderant and is more concerned about her hair and make up than her cleanliness.
I have discussed with her how important it is and that no one will be looking at her face if she smells of BO, but its not working.

Is it just mine??? and WWYD to make it better?

[brimfull]

mooncup?

arf

[fannybanjo]

I haven't yet (DD1 only 7) but one of my best friend's DD (12) is EXACTLY the same over hygiene and it is cracking her up. I am sure she will grow out of it.

[LadyGlencoraPalliser]

You sound very angry and hostile about this issue which I suspect will not be helping the situation. I wouldn't expect my DD to take her used towels to the bathroom bin. I would expect her to do exactly what I do, put them in the bathroom bin. I think you sound a bit paranoid about the smell tbh, if they are in a bag in the bathroom bin, they are not going to "stink". Same with the washing issue - your nagging and threatening her with "smelling of BO" might be counterproductive tactics. It sounds as if this whole issue of cleanliness is a biggie for you and maybe you need to think about why it frightens you so much that your daughter might not always be in a state of perfect freshness and fragrance.

[LadyGlencoraPalliser]

Sorry, I meant - I wouldn't expect my DD to take her used towels to the outside bin.

[mosschops30]

Lady I am angry because I think washing daily and putting your towels out is not a lot to ask!
I mention the smelling of BO is because there have been times when dd has come in and I can smell her from the doorway ....do you think this is acceptable.

We dont have a bathroom bin, and our bathroom is so small you have to go outside to change your mind! When I have a period I take out my towels in the morning and drop them in the outside bin, so yes I think she should do the same. And if your sanitary towels dont smell, then you are a better woman than me!

[Inghouls2]

I think it's a bit much to expect her to take them to an outside bin mosschops...
But it definitely isn't too much to expect her to change her towels in the bathroom and put them straight into the bathroom bin.

[mosschops30]

why is it unreasonable to put your towels in a carrier bag and then dump them in an outside bin once a day, its only outside the back door, she hasnt got to walk down some victorian style back lane in her nightie every 6 hours
Am I missing something?

[Inghouls2]

x posts... but she's a teenager mosschops.. She's not going to remember to put the bag in the outside bin in the morning. She's going to leave them lying around undetected where they will stink. Squeeze in a bathroom bin. If you make it easy for her it'll be easier for you.

[brimfull]

we have a bin with a lid in the bathroom but if your's is too small then I think she should do as you do.
You could always threaten that her father or brother will clean them up for her-should motivate. My dd used to be appalled that dh knew about her periods
The shower thing-does she not care that she has BO?

[mosschops30]

ggirl she maintains that she cant smell it!

[MamaG]

YANBU mosschops. I think a lot of teenage girls are mucky pups! Could you squeeeeeze in a teeny bin? And some scented nappy bags (you'll be needing those soon anyway )

re washing I remember having to be nagged ot have a shower as a teen () - I hated being cold and wet and having to dry my hair (ridiculous I know) - if your DD is the same, maybe stick the heating on a bit longer and get her hair cut (if she agrees!). Am waffling but am basically telling you to try to find out if there's a good (as in teenage girl version of good) reason for it

(Can I just tell the ohter posters on this thread hat mosschops is VERY pregnant so be nice? Thank you!)

[Inghouls2]

well she probably can't... tell her she needs to take a shower when she smells, but eventually she'll either realise or one of her friends will helpfully point it out and then she'll do something about it.
How old is she?

[titchy]

Get a bathroom bin, or one for her bedroom, plus some scented panty liners. Quite reasonable for used towels to sit wrapped up in a bin for a few days.

And is it really necessary to have a bath or shower every day during a period? Why? Or am I really slovenly? Loo roll suffices with me and dd... if you're a bit more fussy than me moist wipes?

I think you're making periods out to be way too inconvenient and 'dirty' tbh which imo is a dangerous thing to impart onto an adolescent girl.

As for BO - can yuo just remind her each morning? DD, nearly 11, has been using deoderant for about two years, but it's only really the last 6 months that she's remembered to do it without me reminding her. And occassioanlly she doesn't put enough on, has PE and comes home rather 'fragrant'! One thing that helped was dd choosing her own deoderant - does your dd?

[HeSaysSheSays]

It is not unreasonable to ask her to do that, we are supposed to be teaching them the skills to be an adult and an adult would have to deal with their own towels.

Personally I would tell her that you have removed her straightners/culers and that she will have to ask you for them each morning, you will only give them to her when she has showered and removed her sanitary items to the outside bin. It may take some screaming and shouting but a quiet refusal to comply to her demands should get through in the end (especially if it results in one or two days or having to go to school without her hair done).

I recently had house guests who were a bit like this - only more so, on them leaving after a couple of days I found their used towels in my bathroom bin (well ours, they helped themselves) - unwrapped, unrolled and some sticking to the lid what made it worse was that I later found out that it was the mother and not the teen daughter who was the offender. It is basic hygeine and you are never too young to learn that!

[Inghouls2]

here's a mini swing bin
Can you squeeze that in under your sink?

[brimfull]

I do remember whe dd was 11-12ish she was a bit greasy haired.
She did get better ,no harm in nagging her to wash imo.

Also your smelling powers will be heightened if you are preggers so she may not actually smell that bad.

[LaurieScaryCake]

This is not about showering or towels - this is about what you want in your house.

I have some basic rules and they do include showering ever day, there are some things she cannot choose not to do.

1 is homework
2 is showering

Without doing these she gets no sleepovers/pocket money.

If this is to be one of your 'rules' then impose sanctions/consequences if she doesn't do it. When dd starts her period she will be required to put them in the outside bin too as I will not put a bin in the bathroom as it is shared by business clients.

[mosschops30]

thanks mamag maybe I could get one of those tiny bins with a lid, and yes will be using lots of towels myself soon and nappy bags

titchy IMHO its important to have a shower or bath every day (I do), I dont know why anyone wouldnt! But as I cant persuade her to do that normally, as she'll only be coaxed in every other day, I try to use the period thing as a bit of a reason to 'freshen up'.

Oh and im 34 fgs Im hardly of the generation that thinks periods are 'dirty'!

[NorkyButNice]

I would give her a proper lined waste bin in her bedroom, and maybe some scented nappy sacks if you're that concerned about smells. That would be preferable to me than used towels lying around in a carrier bag anyway.

FWIW, I throw my used towels and tampons in the bathroom bin (wrapped in toilet roll) - it only gets emptied once or twice a week and we don't have any problems with smells.

YANBU about her personal hygiene though - does she get to choose her own smellies to use? That might get her more interested. Otherwise (as other's said), eventually her mates will start shunning her, or a stranger on the bus will make a comment, and she'll get the message that way.

[mosschops30]

lol korma my friend says the same about her 15 year old, apparently I have to enjoy my shower now as I wont get a look in soon

[eyetunes]

How old is DD?

I never get any hot water as my DD is showering morning noon and night. Ds's on the other hand.....

[mosschops30]

oh and yes she has lots of nice smellies, she has an addiction to lush so is always buying things from there, shes also taken a likeness to expensive hair products which I dont even buy for myself.
None of these seems to be encouraging though.

[Trikken]

Id agree she needs to have her own bin, and as for not washing she will learn the hard way, she'll realise she has to wash when people think she smells.

[mosschops30]

she has a bin in her bedroom already but its a big waste paper bin. Would it be better if I bought a small one with a lid specifically for towels