Walking on eggshells(5 Posts)
I know this will sound patronising (is that the right word) and I don't mean it too.
Don't worry. The fact that she rang the police straight away is a sign that it was a cry for help. She probably didn't know how to tell you that stuff was going 'wrong' in her eyes. I know that if I had told my parents that I was having trouble with a friend at school they would have brushed it off as silly, and I'm not saying you would do the same but maybe that is what she thought you would do. Maybe she is finding it hard to open up to the counseller as she doesn't know them and probably thinks they don't or won't understand. have you had a girly day out, the 3 of you? like the cinema and pizza or something, that way there is no pressure to talk things through or awkward silences and it might just make her feel 'normal' again, if only for a while.
Don't pressure her to open up and she will eventually on her own. Try and get things back to reasonable normality, the more you walk on eggshells the more frustrated everyone will be with the situation.
Is your daughter involved in any sport/clubs outside of school and away from her usual circle of friends? Might help her realise that this girl isn't the queen bee she thinks she is.
Sorry if it doesn't make much sense, I'm just going off my personal experience with my parents through a somewhat similar situation.
She will be. Maybe there weren't any signs for you to spot, I know that most of the decisions I made around the situation with my parents were spur of the moment.
If it will help I felt like it was just a really quick build up of emotions that I was too young to deal with and I could only see one way out of the situation, no signs for my parents to spot nothing, no signs for me to spot even. It was like a tidal wave, came from nowhere. But after realising that there were people around me who cared, and worried about me after doing what I did, I never did it again. In retrospect it was a huge cry for help with things.
What about suggesting that she invite the girls from outside of school over for a movie night/sleepover one weekend? Might help remind her that she has made friends and can do it again. Has she spoken to the rest of 'the group' you never know, they may not feel the same as the other girl.
Just make yourself available to her, does she draw or write or anything? Might help her confront things herself? Take some time for you as well. I know you feel guilty and that you think there was something you could have done differently, but there wasn't I assure you.
It'll get better, this time next year it will all be back to normal and you'll all look at it as a learning experience. It'll make you all stronger and closer in the long run.
I'm here if you need to chat though. x
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