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help. when can they legally move out? with SEN?

(10 Posts)
pickyvic Wed 08-Jul-09 20:42:00

ive got an aspergers teen of 17. sulking at the moment over a phone bill - he has walked out in a sulk and is saying he isnt coming home - he has gone to the YMCA. (he did this before once)
i dont know what to do. he has no regard to my sitting here worrying - in fact i think thats what he is hoping for. can a 17yr old with special needs move out without consent?
ta.

Goblinchild Wed 08-Jul-09 20:50:22

Oh vic, I remember the last time he did this. He's hitting the rebellious teens a bit late, but making up for it in spades.
I haven't got a clue about the legal side of things, isn't wetaugust available? She'd know what is and isn't possible.
Hopefully he'll get frightened by an 'incident' and come home again like last time before any real consequences. he hasn't got a clue about money, or managing completely on his own, and the money he has won't go far. He's a bit short on possible options. Did he take his laptop with him? If not, he'll be suffering withdrawal soon and need to come back.
Worrying won't help you or him, have you made contact with the staff at the YMCA?
Hope things resolve themselves quickly, he won't enjoy being homeless with no funds.

pickyvic Wed 08-Jul-09 20:57:48

hi goblin - he took his precious lappy with him - he snook out while i was in the shower. ive blocked his phone - the usual. he has run up a big bill, not stuck to our agreement and ebbed away at the last bit of trust i had placed in him. he is now saying he wont come home unless i unblock the phone. i actually asked him to give it to me while i looked at options but he refused to hand it over so i had no choice. i think he is hoping blackmail will work for him. it wont.
at first it seems to give him a giddy sense of being free. but he always chooses to do this at a very bad time. its DD birthday saturday and i had tickets for us all for Alton Towers. sad
really cant cope with much more of this.

Goblinchild Wed 08-Jul-09 21:07:33

I thought he had a pay as you go phone after last time, then if the money runs out, it's nothing to do with you. As it is, you're now his target because 'You've got the phone and you blocked it and it's all your fault'
Inaccurate, but when have teens ever been logical?
You know we discussed that 2/3 chronological age for emotional maturity? So now you have a pain in the arse who looks 18 and is really 12, but is academically able. Going through that challenging nightmare Y8 phase that NTs dread.
I have no idea, do you think CAMHS might have a number that could help? Social services?
Out of my depth here, G is 14 running at 10, and a real rule follower so no breaking agreements.

pickyvic Wed 08-Jul-09 21:21:07

thanks goblin - he is on the waiting list for clinical psyche after last time(s). this is truly a flaming nightmare. im being punished. nothing to do but sit tight. the pay as you go thing didnt work because he could just top it up whenever he wanted, he had learned my bank details etc, too much like temptation and he is too clever, so id got him a contract phone with his absolute word that he wouldnt go over his contract limit. i am stupid. i know.

pickyvic Wed 08-Jul-09 21:52:05

ive phoned the YMCA so they are going to watch out for him and let me know if he does turn up there.

Loshad Wed 08-Jul-09 22:33:45

just wanted to send you ((hugs)) and hope he comes home soon with his tail between his legs. They can be really hard work sometimes teenagers.

pickyvic Wed 08-Jul-09 22:44:16

thankyou. all hugs gratefully received. ive no idea where he is and this is going to be a long night.

Loshad Wed 08-Jul-09 23:11:49

you poor thing, it certainly is.

maryz Wed 08-Jul-09 23:17:11

I've answered on the SN teens thread. Where we are ds can move out whenever he likes (he's 15). They won't make him come home and they won't provide accommodation for him. If he leaves here (or if we throw him out) he will be on the streets or in an adult hostel sad

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