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(10 Posts)
sarahsmudge Sun 07-Jun-09 12:08:05

my dd is 14, we're going to gran canaria in a few weeks for our family holiday. dd has said she wants to go topless on the beach because her best friend does it when she goes away. i'm not keen on her doing this and i told her she is too young to be going topless. anyone been in this situation? any advice would be appreciated.

thisisyesterday Sun 07-Jun-09 12:09:11

her best friend claims to do it while she is away.

what other reasons does your child have for wanting to do this?
I wouldn't be happy about it at all

sarahsmudge Sun 07-Jun-09 12:22:55

she won't give me any other reason why she wants to do this. she just says her friend does it and she can't understand why there is a problem with it. I think there is more to it but she won't tell me

mumeeee Sun 07-Jun-09 15:39:23

I wouldn't let her go topless. How does she know her friend really does this?

missismac Sun 07-Jun-09 15:50:27

Doesn't it depend if everyone else is doing it? On some beaches I've been on in Spain it looked a bit odd if you kept your top on, whatever your age. On others it's inappropriate. How about you suggest that you'll discuss it with her once you get there and see what the 'beach rules' are (note; 'discuss' not 'agree to her doing it)'. You may find that once there, if she sees that no one else does it, she goes off the idea?

If everyones doing it then being topless becomes de-sexualised and so I wouldn't have a problem with my 14yr old doing it too.

Personal choice though.

AMumInScotland Sun 07-Jun-09 15:51:38

Has her "friend" maybe teased her about strapmarks from her bikini top?

I don't have a dd (thank God!) but I think if others were going topless on the beach I probably wouldn't forbid it. But I'd point out to her that lots of ugly fat blokes are going to be ogling her tits, which might put her off the idea grin

thisisyesterday Mon 08-Jun-09 09:24:23

well I can think of only 2 reasons why you would want to go topless

1.) to get an even tan
2.) so men can see your breasts.

IMO neither of these options are acceptable.

BodenGroupie Mon 08-Jun-09 10:21:56

Wouldn't worry about it at all - DDs are 13 and 15 and probably wouldn't do it, but they've been on topless/nudist beaches on a lot of holidays and don't think other people's nudity is an issue.

Think your daughter may bottle out when she actually gets to the beach so probably best not to worry about it too much.

LollipopViolet Wed 10-Jun-09 20:58:48

Gosh, if I suggested this even now at 19, I'd be gaffer taped into the biggest t-shirt on the planet :0 I doubt her friend does this, none of mine did at 14, and that wasn't that long ago.

mamas12 Sat 13-Jun-09 00:13:18

Won't she be embarressed to go topless in front of brothers/father/uncle ??

Not on really, she wants to 'grow up' too soon and her idea of growing up sounds a little slebie and immature doesn't it.

She will probably not want to do it when it comes to it. Especially if you decide to place yourself at a place on the beach where you know she won't.

Just come back from there actually with a 14 dd and it was her first time wearing a bikini and I thought that was quite racy for her, but she does have a 12 yr old brother, who was all goggle eyed at the few topless women around.

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