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My stepdaughter is depressed because of bullying

(20 Posts)
samjandwich Sat 19-Mar-05 23:26:43

Hiya My step daughter(15yrs) got in with a bad crowd last summer, she has now broken away from them besides a couple of girls which appear to be really nice anyway, Anyway before christmas she and this lad (from the bad crown) fell out and he started to harass her, he has thrown eggs at her, milk, and verbal abuse, turned other people mainly males against her and received threats. We decided that it would be good for her to stay at her mums for a week and this lad felt that bad that he rung her apologising, they were ok together for a short while but fell out again anyway if i go into detail this message would be very long. He has had hold of her by the neck and swung her around, he has stopped her from getting home, come to us telling had hold of her on the floor, follows her everywhere, memorised everynumber she has had and our hime and even my mobile, we had abit of damage to our property but cannot prove anything that it was him and more, We contacted the police for advice and they said to contact parents, which we did they were shocked about it and said they would have a word with him but this has not helped. My dsd does not go out of the house cos of him, he now has been seenn hanging around at the end of the street, we have taken her to the doc and shes been referred to the hospital for counselling, My hubby is gonna ring his parents again tomorrow, But i am so unhappy for my step daughter, she can't have fun a teen should be able to have. Anybody been in a similar situation

helsi Sat 19-Mar-05 23:29:55

Can you tell the parents that if it doesn't stop then you will involve the police? I would then ask if the police can warn him or something - sorry not much use but sending hugs and thoughts. I'm sure some others will be able to help more than me.

expatinscotland Sat 19-Mar-05 23:31:13

How about pursuing him through the civil courts? That's stalking, IMO.

samjandwich Sat 19-Mar-05 23:34:37

My husband is going to have a word with them in the morning and threaten the police, thanks for hugs and thoughts, and advice. Its sometimes good to get it off your chest on boards like this, people give such good advice on here.

ionesmum Sat 19-Mar-05 23:43:34

Just wanted to add my hugs too. This lad's behaviour isn't bullying, it's stalking, harassment and assault. He's committing criminal offences, and you can go straight to the police if you want to.

samjandwich Sun 20-Mar-05 00:42:54

Thanks for advice, we are gonna give his parents the chance to do something with the warning that if they do not succeed we will be straight on the phone to the police and i am thankful for your replies

ionesmum Sun 20-Mar-05 13:07:06

best of luck!

samjandwich Mon 21-Mar-05 21:51:48

An update for you:-
My husband contacted the lads family and they are wanting to work with us as they hear of bad stuff about my stepdaughter, so hopefully we won't need the police,its been agreed on both sides that next time something happens we are gonna get them into a room together along with parents and see if that helps, but still worried about her mental well being, she has also told us something shocking about what she does when she get depressed so we got her straight to the doctors and she has been referred to a counsillor at our local hospital, i hope this makes sense to you as i am not always good at putting my thoughts into words, i hope this all gets sorted soon, for her own good and ours.

Thanks for all the support and thoughts
from a very stressed samjandwich

ionesmum Mon 21-Mar-05 22:54:33

Hope all goes well. Thinking of you.

KVG Wed 30-Mar-05 10:25:54

Message withdrawn

samjandwich Wed 30-Mar-05 21:19:39

hi K thanks for your reply when this lad first came to call for my step daughter he introduced himself as her boyfriend, my dsd has never been interested in him and we believe that this was the source of his vendetta (think thats the right word lol). Since my last post my dsd has not gone out much and we are still waiting for the councilling appointment, we have been told that it could take a while.
my dsd has started to go to the gym a couple of times a week , she then can take her frustration out in a good active way, she very sporty and and enjoys going, the instructors keep a good eye on the kids that go too.
The lad in question came to the house a couple of days after my last post and my husband had a good calm word with him, the lads father then was seen having a aggressive word with the lad in a nearby street regarding the situation as one of his female friends had 'jumped' my dsd, luckily my dsd can handle herself in that respect and came straight home, since then we have not heard of anything happening so keeping our fingers crossed. Hope all this makes sense to you, I have never been much good at english lmao

Can i ask what IYSWIM means, i have seen it several times , i am quite new to this site

from a not so stressed anymore samjandwich

ionesmum Wed 30-Mar-05 21:28:06

If you see what I mean.

Glad things are better.

KVG Wed 30-Mar-05 21:55:11

Message withdrawn

samjamsdsd Fri 01-Apr-05 16:25:37

hiya! i am im samjamsandwiches step daughter, thank you for all your concerns. Samjamsandwiches told me about this website and about the board all about me so i was interested and decided to take a look and i thought it was really good so i decided to join!

samjamsdsd Fri 01-Apr-05 16:26:51

oopsie i put samjamsandwiches instead of samjandwiches sorry

ionesmum Fri 01-Apr-05 22:05:56

Hello, how are you doing?

trefusis Fri 01-Apr-05 22:34:55

Message withdrawn

ionesmum Fri 01-Apr-05 23:50:56

samjandwichdsd, have you seen the kidscape webiste? \link{http:www.kidscape.org.uk} They have a helpline you may find useful.

ionesmum Fri 01-Apr-05 23:52:05

Damn. Link didn't work. Anyway, the address is kidscape.org.uk. sorry, I'm a technical idiot!

samjamsdsd Sat 02-Apr-05 13:09:15

*hey nice to 'meet' you too trefusis, and thanks ionesmum i will check that website out *

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