Unpopular and doesn't care

[CarmerKharma]

My 14 year old son has never had many friends and I think he kind of got used to it. He's obviously at secondary now and he does have a couple of friends who are 'unpopular' like him but the majority don't involve themselves with DS or these other boys. I don't really know why.

They like rock music, have long hair and out of school wear 'alternative' clothing when all the other kids wear trendy stuff. Is this really enough to alienate kids to this degree??

Anyway he says he isn't bothered and is glad to be different but I see all the other teens laughing and joking around town and feel sorry for DS and these other boys and can't understand why they're unpopular, they're good kids!

[mummyflood]

But they've got each other - and sound like a nice close knit group of friends who have things in common! Sounds to me that he knows his own mind, good on him.

He actually sounds quite mature to me, as long as he is happy within himself, I would be proud if I were you. Wish my DS2 (13) were more like this - he has the mind of his own alright, but doesnt have any friends and is quite immature. I am hoping things might change for him by the time he is 14!

[alleve]

I do understand how you feel. He is an individual and wouldn't feel comfortable to be amongst the trendy followers.

If he is happy being with the couple of friends that he does have I would try not to worry.

[stillstanding]

God, aren't the teenage years just so cruel? I suspect he does care but there is little he can do about it.

Looking back I think that the "cool crowd" in my day was pretty revolting and the kids like your son were so much cooler. He sounds like a very together individual with strength of character and no sheep tendencies.

[AmIWhatAndWhy]

This is marvellous news!

Myself and my small group of friends were just the same at school, by the time we got to a levels half the school were 'alternative' and at our prom we even got lots of apologies from people who said they were idiots to make fun of us and were in fact jealous.

[stillstanding]

I agree. Very uncool to be popular

The main thing is that he is happy. Which it seems he is. Hurrah!

[Tortington]

as long as he is happy and not being bullied i don't see a problem.

[electra]

I wouldn't worry about it if he's not Speaking as someone who never fitted in myself (and still doesn't!) there isn't really anything you can do about it if you happen to think differently from other people, except to accept it and try to find the good things in it.

[mumeeee]

He doesn't need lots of friends. If he has a couple of friends he hangs round with and he is happy himself. Then that's fine. Some people just like to have a small group of friends.