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Worried about very mature DS

(10 Posts)
GhostlySinCity Thu 16-Oct-08 08:25:26

My DS is just 13 and stands 5.9" tall. His voice is fully broken (if someone someone spoke to him on the phone they would think they were talking to an adult man). He has even had to start shaving the area above his lip.

Aside from this, he doesn't act like a 13 year old. He's very authoritive to the point of being bossy with smaller children. He uses adult style dialect etc. On the plus side, he's very much a gentleman, he opens doors for people and invites women/girls to walk through before himself and he donated a load of things to his cadet club when he was told he could sell them and make some money for himself.

What I'm worried about, is that this weekend he is going on a camping trip/exercise. The other kids are aged between 13 to 17. He has been a bit 'odd' about it and so I checked his mobile phone (first time I've done this) and there were messages from 2 different girls and they were quite suggestive and spoke about the trip at the weekend. I don't think he has told them his real age as one has asked if he is still at school or college.

I think the girls are quite a bit older than him too.

He is generally a sensible lad but realistically, what 13 year old would pass up the opportunity to 'mess around' with two older girls? Or am I being cynical?

chapeloffearstickchick Thu 16-Oct-08 08:28:51

I have 3 sons 2 are teenagers they spent this summer surrounded by girls and i was worried too.........i gave them the talk....*if she will let you do it -maybe your friends did it first?
*sex makes babies/fooling around makes babies-you aretoo young for babies.

I think you need a talk of your own.

onebatmotherofNormanBates Thu 16-Oct-08 08:35:27

Oh dear, poor you.

Have you had the 'respect for self and others in sex' convo with him yet? If not, now's probably the time.
I don't have teens but I imagine that the best thing you can do is to arm them with all the practical info (contraception/STDs) and then try and explain that promiscuous sex isn't necessarily all it seems. Explain that people sometimes confuse sexual attention for affection, so it's important not just to jump at every op but to think whether it's the right thing to do for both partners..

I might be wrong though,..

lilibet Thu 16-Oct-08 08:41:44

My ds1 matured early - it's frightening.

You do really need to have 'the talk' with him.

My line was that I can't stop him doing these things as I'm not with him all the time but to make sure that he knows the consequences of any actions and I hammered home the fact that sex belongs in a long term and loving relationship. (but please give me Gordon Ramsay for an afternoon!)

I have also stressed, stressed and stressed again that UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES do you ever have sex without a condom.

AMumInScotland Thu 16-Oct-08 09:23:34

You need to talk to him... something along the lines of how he's a mature and sensible lad and you know he wont be silly of course, but now that he's going away on mixed trips you need to be sure that he understands about how even fooling around can lead to pregnancy and how he needs to take responsibility for his actions even if the girl is older than him and seems to know all about it. Is his dad around to have a chat? Sometimes it can be easier from another man.

lazymumofteenagesons Thu 16-Oct-08 15:52:53

Both my sons matured early physically. Their voices started breaking at 11 and DS1 was the same height as yours at 13. What I did notice was that although they were physically mature they were not emotionally. At 13 they are certainly not mentally ready for sex.
Hopefully, this trip is well supervised!? But anyhow alot of the kids text msgs are far more suggestive than they will ever dare to be in real life.

LadyGlencoraPalliser Fri 17-Oct-08 13:38:57

Sorry but Chapeloffearstickchick I am shock
'if she will let you do it maybe your friends did it first'!!!

As the mother of girls I am appalled that you would choose that particular approach to try to put your son off having underage sex.
Deciding not to have sex until you are ready should be a positive choice for a teen, not a decision based on the assumption that any teenage girls he meets who appear to be interested in him are sluts. That's no way to bring up a son who respects women.

Mumwhensdinnerready Sat 18-Oct-08 15:31:29

My son is 12 and also very physically mature. I was quite surprised as I thought boys matured much later. He's 5'10 and size 11 feet, voice fully broken etc. However he is emotionally immature and I would also be worried about him going into such a situation because physically he has an adult body and all that testosterone.
I wonder how the camp is supervised? Surely the responsible adults are wise to the efforts of teenagers to get together?

pingping Fri 24-Oct-08 10:41:08

Is he an Army Cadet???

pingping Fri 24-Oct-08 11:11:32

If he is in Army cadets ummmm Then Yes there are adults that do supervise but as an ex Cadet I know there is always a way maybe its a hype thing though but I know alot of the older cadets did things but not so much the younger ones. I do once remember running between billets at stupid times in the morning blush

What stage of cadet is he?

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