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What is the fair thing to do here? DH and I disagree

(16 Posts)
StellaDallas Thu 04-Sep-08 12:30:50

DD1 got a much longed for mobile phone for her 11th birthday four weeks ago. Within three days she had lost it. It has vanished without a trace and she has NO idea what might have happened to it. We have spent ages searching the house, enquiring of everywhere she might have been and all to no avail.
She has just started secondary school and all her friends have mobile phones and naturally she is upset that she no longer has one.
I think she should be allowed to replace the phone with her own money - it will cost £50 and she has Amazon vouchers to that amount from her birthday, which I am prepared to buy from her.
DH thinks she should have to wait a couple of months and then not get the phone she originally had (the model she chose herself) but a cheap basic phone.
Now I know she needs to learn to be more careful with her stuff, but I think she has learned her lesson.
I would really like to know what others would do in this situation?

WendyWeber Thu 04-Sep-08 12:32:55

Well IMO it's her money so her choice - she should be a lot more careful with it now.

If she loses the replacement & it's up to you to get her another, then get the cheap basic one.

Anna8888 Thu 04-Sep-08 12:34:05

Her loss, her responsibility, her money, her decision.

zippitippitoes Thu 04-Sep-08 12:34:13

well if she is buying it then it is her decision

WideWebWitch Thu 04-Sep-08 12:34:20

It's her money, let her buy another. I wouldn't do it with my own money. I'd also make the rule clear about what happens next time NOW so there's no discussion if it happens again, you casn just say "you know the rules"

StellaDallas Thu 04-Sep-08 12:34:29

Do you think it is unfair to make her completely pay for the replacement? I have qualms about this, but DH is being hardline.

chopchopbusybusy Thu 04-Sep-08 12:34:31

I think it's fair for you to insist she buys it with her own money - I suspect she has learned a lesson from it.

What happens when you ring the phone?

laweaselmys Thu 04-Sep-08 12:34:55

Agree with WendyWeber, having lost one once I bet she'll be really really careful not to loose it again! Especially if she knows all others will be cheapie ones.

MascaraOHara Thu 04-Sep-08 12:34:58

Let her buy the one she wants.. make it clear that if she loses that one you will not be replacing it.

I'm assuming that she was upset and to be honest, if she's just started secondary school it could well haev been stolen.

TheProvincialLady Thu 04-Sep-08 12:35:14

Yes if the money is hers it is up to her what she spends it on (within reason!). I should think she has already learned her lesson by having to spend her money on replacing something she would have had anyway if she had taken more care.

pigleto Thu 04-Sep-08 12:35:21

I would say it was up to her how she spends her birthday money. But I would strongly suggest to her that she get a cheaper phone.

hanaflower Thu 04-Sep-08 12:35:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

zippitippitoes Thu 04-Sep-08 12:35:30

no if you lose something then its lost

StellaDallas Thu 04-Sep-08 12:38:04

MOH - she lost it during the summer holidays. We are completely perplexed about how, that is why I have qualms, I don't know for sure that she was careless IYSWIM.
Hanaflower - I won't allow her to take it to school - but she wants to be able to text her friends at weekends and evenings - she will feel out of the loop if she can't.

MascaraOHara Thu 04-Sep-08 12:41:05

ahh, I see. I thought she'd 'lost' it a school.

I'd still let her buy it with her own money but make sue she understood, she wouldn't be getting another if this one is lost

bagsforlife Thu 04-Sep-08 15:49:28

What about buying a cheap one with her own money? Then she'll still have some money left to spend on other things, plus it won't be so disastrous for her if she then loses the new phone.

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