I'm quite shocked! DS has applied to join the Army!!!

[RGPargy]

DS (18) has been practically out of work since the day he left college (he did a year's bricklaying in college) and myself and DP have been nag-nag-nagging him to find work ever since. He's had the odd week here and there with various little one man bands who have only needed him for a short time so nothing really permanent, bless him. I do feel a bit guilty for constantly pressurising to find work, but on the other hand, he hasn't really made that much effort, unless i nag him and am home with him at the time, if that makes sense?!

Anyway, the other day he told me he wanted to join the army! I was very shocked as i'm sure i'd mentioned that to him a couple of years ago and he pretty much said it was his worst nightmare! I thought it would have been too because obviously they are very strict and you need to be able to obey lots of orders/discipline, etc etc. But he said it's what he wants to do and is even giving up smoking when he's finished his packet of tobacco!

So he sent off for the info DVD, read up about what you need to join and then on Monday night he applied online. He's just waiting to hear back from them, which i'm assuming will be about going for an interview or chat or something.

I'm in two minds about how i feel about if he were to get in. I feel very worried about him getting posted out to war zones etc but on the other hand, i think it will do him the world of good. I think he is feeling a bit like a lost soul at the moment, not really knowing what he wants to do in life (he told me he doesn't want to do bricklaying anymore!). I think it will "make him" because he is quite shy with strangers and mumbles alot so i reckon it'll really help him to come out of himself.

I also feel very guilty and hope that i haven't been nagging him so much to find work that i've pushed him into this, even tho i never even mentioned it to him except for the time a few years ago when i mentioned it in jest.

Sorry for the long post and thanx for reading if you get this far. I just needed to write it all down and hopefully get some reassurance/comments from anyone that might have been or still be in a similar situation.

Phew. That's better.

[snorkle]

Wow, RGPargy, I can see why you have mixed feelings, it's a scary thought having a child in the armed forces. But good for him to get his act together and do something! He may well love it, there certainly are plenty of positive sides to it if he can accept the discipline. Best wishes to him for his application.

[jesuswhatnext]

good luck to him!!!

it could be a great life and career for him.

good luck to you too, i'm sure you'll be very proud of him!

[RGPargy]

Thanx you two. I really hope he gets in because i think he'd be soooo disappointed if he got rejected.

Just realised that my post sounds as if i'm saying going to a war zone would be the making of him. I didn't mean that, but just meant that being in the army would be the making of him!

[misdee]

good luck to him. i know you and know you will worry, but you are a good um and am sure you havent forced him into it.

itrs good that at 18 he feels he may have fouhnd soemthing he wants to do.

and it will give him a career.

[McDreamy]

Oh what a shock for you. It could be a great move for though.

The only piece of advice I would suggest is to consider all 3 services not just the Army. One is not neccessarily better than the other but he might like the look of one when he has looked into all 3.

I can only offer experience of being in the RAF which was absolutely brilliant and possibly one of the best moves I've ever made.

Good luck to him

[FluffyMummy123]

Message withdrawn

[saltire]

Mkae sure he knows how to wash
I'm serious. Dh was on an exercise last year, and they were living in what he termed as field conditions. So they set up wash tents. One of the young RAF guys went up to Dh and said "How do i wash msyelf, whats the basin for". He was 18, and obviously had only ever ahd showers, he didn't know how to fill the basin and wash!

[noddyholder]

i would be heartbroken if it was ds but if he really wants to then you should support him.He seems young to be making a choice like that.

[FluffyMummy123]

Message withdrawn

[RGPargy]

Misdee - thanx, i think really if he didn't want to do it there's no way he'd do it just to shut me up! He's been stubborn as hell about what work he DIDN'T want to do so i suppose if he didn't want to join the forces, he wouldn't! (PS - can you send me your address please, i want to send you back your beads as i have no need for them atm.)

McDreamy - I was always under the assumption that the army would take anyone but the others take people who have perhaps got good grades at school etc?

Saltire - PMSL!!! Thankfully (i hope anyway!) DS knows how to wash. How funny about that young lad tho!! lol!!!

[RGPargy]

Noddy - Of course i will support him with whatever decision he makes. He IS rather young but i sometimes feel that it's lack of life skills that keep him young minded rather than anything else.

icod - it's not something that i thought he would EVER do!!

[FluffyMummy123]

Message withdrawn

[McDreamy]

I am now an RAF wife and our family have a great time. Schooling and postings have never been an issue in fact DD's school at the moment is brilliant. Housing is fine, a bit magnolia but ok.

The TA is a really good bit of advice. I was an RAF reservist for 4 years before I decided to join full time. It does give you a really good taste of what you are letting yourself into.

[RGPargy]

Ruby - Ooo you sneak! That's a good idea about joining the TA first. Think i'll mention it to him and see what he thinks. I think I know where the TA unit is near me. Dont think DS is quite a rebel yet, just a huffy teenager!

Cod - yes, it is pants isn't it, for families in particular, as Ruby says.

I think i should get him to go down to the Armed Forces Careers Centre near us first to find out what would suit him best.

[TillyScoutsmum]

My db really wanted to join up and my step mum wouldn't let him (obviously you can't physically stop an 18 year old boy but she just went on and on about how she'd never forgive him etc.). So, now he's 24 years old, in a job he hates, spends all his spare time in his bedroom doing fuck knows what, has no real mates, no social skills and is basically quite unhappy

I know there are downsides to being in the forces I really do think it would have been the making of him

I can understand the mixed feelings though. Can they not leave after the basic training (6 months ish), if its not for them ?

[AuraofDora]

NO!!!
i'd be scared too scared for him sorry this would frighten me out of my tiny mind
after i'd bashed him over his thick skull and chopped his legs off at the knees
my worse fear
sorry
doestn help

[RGPargy]

TillyScoutsmum - such a shame, i dont want DS to be like that and i worry that he WILL be like that if something doesn't happen job-wise soon!

I think they CAN quit after the basic training. Think i'll check on their website first tho.

[Kewcumber]

my ex was army - I don't think he thought it was pants at all (though he had no family). It gave him structure and focus and a great life, instant mates and a bond with his colleagues that you don't get anywhere else.

I would worry if it were DS but if he were unemplyed I think its a better option.

[Kewcumber]

overseas posting are in the minority now I beleive, we just don't have that many overseas bases any more.

He could also learn a trade whilst he's in (electrician etc)

[RGPargy]

lol Aura!!

[RGPargy]

Ruby - Isn't the Command House THE place for squaddies these days? lol!

Kewcumber - thanx for the reassurances. I do think that DS needs structure in his life and deffo discipline (although i doubt he would agree! ).

I just had a chat on the phone to him and mentioned the TA route and also said that he really should go down to our local careers office and have a chat with them there because they are not focussed on one particular service etc. Hopefully he'll take my advice and go down there tomorrow.