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WHAT AM I DO DO WITH HER ? ? ? ? Help.

(21 Posts)
maltesers Mon 14-Feb-05 20:40:33

What do you mums with teenagers suggest i do with my dd of 14. She is so unpleasant at the moment and has turned that way in the last two years. Last night when she came back from her dads after one night there, (we have been divorced since she was 3 yrs), i went quickly on the computer. She asked me could she have a turn to which i said yes in ten minutes. She hounded me and became very demanding. Her voice got louder as did mine. I stupidly got stressed with her and told her to go away. She refused. We raised our voices at each other and in the end she pulled me of the computer chair and i fell backwards onto the floor. I have told her there is no pocket money or lifts this half term, and today i have made her do three household chores. I know i need to put my foot down, things are getting out of hand. I felt so humiliated. She apologized and was crying. WHAT NEXT ??

misdee Mon 14-Feb-05 20:41:20

tell her she is acting like my 4year old.

givenupforlent Mon 14-Feb-05 20:44:47

and dont let her on the computer for a week (other than for homework)

MunchedTooManyMarsLady Mon 14-Feb-05 20:48:17

stay strong. My niece was horrible for ages and has suddenly (now that she's 16) become human again.

maltesers Mon 14-Feb-05 20:50:59

yes, same her with my ds of 16. he is now really nice. is 14 meant to be a worst time for teenagers. I know that teacher say that yr 9 (third year of secondary school) is the awful year.

fostermum Tue 15-Feb-05 08:04:03

ride with it its the phase she is going through but i would give her servere punishment for man handling you,or it may become habit forming!no t.v. no p.c. no lifts,make her know you wont put up with it

hercules Tue 15-Feb-05 08:09:14

Yes, I agree Year 9 is usually the worst. Hormones are going barmy, they've passed the doing as they are told stage yet havent reached a more maturer stage yet.

maltesers Tue 15-Feb-05 16:59:09

You mite b right Hercules. Will try to look at it like that and keep a sane head.

Potty1 Tue 15-Feb-05 17:06:10

malteser - agree that it's important to show her that manhandling you isn't acceptable. It so hard though isn't it? They are trying to be grown-up and in control of themselves and yet somehow they just can't cope with it all and everything ends in a battle.

maltesers Tue 15-Feb-05 17:12:20

she is staying on a sleepover at her friends tonight. Thankgoodness, Its nice to have a break from her. Teenagers all have sleepover mania, dont they?

Potty1 Tue 15-Feb-05 17:23:31

I know.....we hardly ever did it when I was one (when dinosaurs ruled the Earth according to ds1)!

maltesers Tue 15-Feb-05 17:26:50


juniperdewdrop Tue 15-Feb-05 17:31:26

just wanted to add a (((hug))) for you. My boys are only little so I've got it all to come. Hope she turns a corner soon for you maltesers.

maltesers Tue 15-Feb-05 17:37:27

am glad my youngest of 4 is a ds. I think girls are worse during adolescence. My oldest boy is 16 now and no trouble. At least they dont pinch all your : makeup, tights, perfume etc (or you hope they dont) !

Potty1 Tue 15-Feb-05 18:08:52

Ds1 is 16, ds2 13 and dd is 11 going on 17!

I'm currently 'between teens' as ds1 seems to have come back from the wilderness and ds2 hasn't quite got there yet.......and long may it last !

Tortington Tue 15-Feb-05 20:02:20

many hugs! don't envy you one bit, my boy is 15 and a pain in the arse. my girl is only 12 and has an attitude to match any of trisha's guests!

fostermum Wed 16-Feb-05 06:29:39

a good sense of humour is always a bonus when you have teens isnt it

Potty1 Wed 16-Feb-05 08:16:40

custy lol about Trisha......there but for the grace of God

chenin Wed 16-Feb-05 16:28:17

Maltesers, poor you! I know just what it is like! My dd aged 16 is exactly the same about the computer and gets almost frantic if she can't go on when she wants. I try my best to stand my ground but it is not easy. When I want her to come off, occasionally I have to almost physically pull her off so I do understand what you are saying. The only thing that works is occasionally if she has been particularly trying, I actually ban her from going on for a couple of days and she hates that so much she does tend to toe the line now! Good luck with it and thank goodness for sleepovers for a bit of peace!

hopelesscase Wed 23-Feb-05 19:08:47

My dd1 is worse than maltesers' dd! Will be 15 soon - roll on 16, but I can't imagine her turning into a human being again - it's been so long since she was reasonable...

dd2 is a year younger, and so far has not turned into a monster!

tvresearcher Tue 15-Mar-05 14:28:36

Dear Maltesers,

I was just on this site to put an ad in the 'media' section and I saw this thread. I am making a TV programme where we will be offering advice and coaching with a team of experts to parents who are at their wit's end dealing with nightmare teens. Obviously we're not assigning blame - we acknowledge that parenting is really difficult and want to work with a family to help them live together amicably again.

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