had almighty bust up with dd(15 next week). she has been obnoxious all week, rude and mouthy. was also found to have been stealing money from dh wallet.
she sidled up to me this morning to ask if it was ok for her to go to cinema on sat. with her new boyfriend. i said no way as she had been horrible all week. she said tough it was already arranged. i told her to rearrange it, and if she behaved next week she could go then. she went off on one, going on about how i want her to get dumped and how all her friends see their boyfriends every day. she wants to go the park with him in the evenings. of course i said no way. i am happy for her to go at weekends in the day but not in the evenings. I try to be a responsible parent and tbh the friend she is referring to has a mother who couldnt care what the daughter gets up too - of course i couldnt say that to dd as not fair to put her friend down!! have done the actions/consequence talk till am blue in the face.
despite having 3 younger siblings i do give her quality time on her own, and we do try to accomodate her on family days out - which isnt easy bearing in mind the age gap. we do take her out on her own too.
she shuts herself up in her room with her mobile all evening - she says she studies but i doubt it. she doesnt tell me when her exams are. i feel like a useless mother and am not sure where i went wrong? how can i bring her back in line?
sorry to be so long winded.
Wish I had answer - sorry you're going through this but we must all remember at all times 'it's not us that are going through enormous hormonal changes (ok some of us are ) trying to grow up and think we can do it all by ourselves without any adult guidance because adults know nothing...' etc etc you get my drift.
teenagers are horrible but we didn't make them that way.
I read that parent of teenager role has to change from one of manager to consultant.
Sorry - haven't yet got to the bit that tells you how to do that!
You are not a useless Mother. Your DD sounds like a normal teenager. Try and pick your battles. Don't worry about her staying in her room all evening that is very normal for a teenager.
we had a chat and she says she knows we make the decisions that are best for her. we have tried a compromise and have invited her boyfriend for dinner on her birthday. she is still not allowed out to the park in the evenings though!! we werent this bad when we were teens were we????????
sorry too tired to help but just to say 'i share your pain' keep up the good work!
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