I have finally allowed DS to have a Facebook account....

[Squirdle]

...but I have insisted he has added me as a friend.

I am kind of a bit wary of him having it, but felt that at least if I could check now and again then it should be ok.

He is absolutely fine about it, but I am left feeling that I may be invading his privacy a little.

Do you think I was right?

[bythepowerofgreyskull]

How old is he?
the other thing I would say is that he can set privacy settings which show you nothing of what he is up to even though you are on his friends list.

[Squirdle]

He's 14. Hmm, I forgot he could do that, though I don't think he will. I have told him that having me on there is the only way he will be allowed to be on there. He is a pretty good teenager, not stupid and I do trust him....but maybe I just don't trust everyone else.

He has also added my sister and 2 brothers and some other relatives and also a few of my very close friends who he is close also, so I guess it should be ok.

[Squirdle]

So could someone block another person from seeing if they are on Facebook. I mean, they would be on their friends lists, but the blocked person couldn't see them?

[ravenAK]

Surely at 14 he could set up an account without your knowledge or approval, from any public access computer (eg. library, internet cafe). It'd take him 10 minutes to set up myspace & bebo whilst he was at it.

Facebook's pretty safe I'd've thought! It's the grown up nerdy one.

But IMO you'd be better talking to him about safe internet behaviour than trying to control what accounts he can or can't have.

[bythepowerofgreyskull]

am not sure about that hidden friend thing..
I am a member of a hidden group on facebook,
if someone looks at my profile page it doesn't show up, it doesn't show in lists of groups available to join, and is by invitation only.
if they do all that I am sure you can be a secret friend.

[ladystardust]

Aaah! the facebook thing!
My dd had me as friend (and I did keep an eye on her page) until I complained - to her and facebook - about an inappropriate bumper sticker she sent to a friend. So she deleted me from her friends list!
Mostly I think it's harmless but in reality it becomes for us, yet one more thing to try and keep some control over them with. Hopeless...

[whoops]

Squirdle - I have my dad as a facebook friend! I was a bit worried about him finding things out about me but then I don't think anything will shock him now & I'm more likely to be embarrased of him

[girlnextdoor]

if you are on Facebook, you can block anyone from seeing your profile- you adjust your PRIVACY settings and type in their name.

However- more to the point- what re you afraid of? If he has access to a pc he could be viewing porn etc etc- and facebook is pretty tame- I know- I am on it lol!

My son bans me from seeing his profile as he doesn't want me to know what he is up to, but he is 22! My daughter is 20 and is very open about hers.

Maybe you need to discuss with him what you are unhappy about- make sure he doesn't give out his date of birth and address etc etc for fear of identity fraud.

[Squirdle]

Well we have put on a mild parental control setting on the laptop anyway, so I can't imagine he'd see that much on Facebook. I'm not stressing about it anymore tbh.

Whoops, you know A. He's actually a really nice teenager isn't he so I am sure he wouldn't be daft.

I have discussed not giving out too much info about himself and about the internet safety thing, but like I say, he isn't daft so I don't think he would ever put himself in an awkward situation.

He is fine about me being on his friends list. He also has my brothers, sister and best freind on there.

[whoops]

Yes Squirdle I don't think you are going to have a problem with him on there.
My neice has been on fb for a while and she is 12 she has me, my sis and brother all as friends I think