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Does anyone else have a non-typical teen?

(10 Posts)
Titsywoo Fri 04-Sep-20 23:08:34

Obviously I'm massively stereotyping here! But I do worry a bit about my DD who turns 16 this month. She is very shy and quiet which is fine (I was similar myself) but she doesn't seem to like any of the "typical" teen things and almost purposely shuns them. She hates "trendy" clothes, doesn't want to wear makeup, has no interest in dating/drinking/smoking/parties. She struggles socially and has never really found her tribe - she does have a best friend at school now who is her complete opposite (very confident and loud) but feels sidelined by everyone else and is never involved in the group meetups (doesn't get invited).

Anyone else got a teen like mine? All my friends DD's are very similar and mine is just so different. I think she's great but she gets so upset at never finding anyone like her that I feel awful for her. Secondary school has just been a terrible experience from start to finish sadly sad

OP’s posts: |
corythatwas Fri 04-Sep-20 23:44:48

I was that teen. Still not interested in clothes or makeup or any of those things: last time I wore makeup was at my wedding 27 years ago. I've had a good life though, and not a lonely one.

It all came right when I left school and went to uni: there I found my tribe! I even went to parties there, because they were people I wanted to party with: had never happened before.

As I got older I found people got less judgmental- and so did I, making it easier to find common ground.

Titsywoo Fri 04-Sep-20 23:51:28

Thanks @corythatwas that's great to hear. I hope my DD finds her tribe one day!

OP’s posts: |
CrazyToast Sat 05-Sep-20 00:18:27

I was that teen too and then some! It's ok, can be difficult but great for them to just be themselves.

TwelvetyOClock Sat 05-Sep-20 00:21:56

I was like that. DSS15 is like that, as is DSS 14 to an extent, though he seems to find it a little easier to get on with anyone.

PastMyBestBeforeDate Sat 05-Sep-20 00:24:19

I was different. Had more in common with my y12/13 tutor than my friends. Struggled throughout school. Dd has autism and is very atypical. Has a couple of friends. Doesn't do teen girl stuff. We get along really well blush
I had a 'this is my tribe' moment at university that she's holding on for smile

whysotriggered Sat 05-Sep-20 00:33:37

Ah yes, I have two! It isn't easy and secondary school has not been a walk in the park for them. I think I was also like that never into anything girly but luckily I went to a school full of non-typical teenage girls but many are not so fortunate.

I just have to keep reminding them that school is not forever and as people get older they become less herd-like and more individual. I hope that all our DDs find their tribes in the near future.

Titsywoo Sat 05-Sep-20 00:39:19

whysotriggered

Ah yes, I have two! It isn't easy and secondary school has not been a walk in the park for them. I think I was also like that never into anything girly but luckily I went to a school full of non-typical teenage girls but many are not so fortunate.

I just have to keep reminding them that school is not forever and as people get older they become less herd-like and more individual. I hope that all our DDs find their tribes in the near future.

I actually have 2 as well - DS is 13 and high functioning autistic so is different but has the confidence to carry it off where as DD is massively awkward. It's quite funny as I was so worried about him because primary was mostly such a nightmare but he has been not too bad and she has found it awful. I almost can't wait until it's over but then dread her starting college and the possibility of more struggles and upset. Yes I agree it isn't easy - I find myself stressed and upset more than I would like and have to try and take a step back mentally and hope it will all be alright in the end!

OP’s posts: |
littlefireseverywhere Sat 05-Sep-20 01:33:18

DS is this teen, age 16 y12 he’s wonderful kind, considerate but lacks social skills. I’m hoping he finds a few friends in the 6th form.

whysotriggered Sat 05-Sep-20 12:04:05

@Titsywoo I definitely hear you on the stressed and upset front. I too have to take a step back at times. I also spend too much time researching future options so I can show them the light at the end of the tunnel.

My oldest one left school and is in college now, and she definitely finds it much much better. Despite the long commute, she has no regrets. I am looking forward to the younger one leaving too!

@littlefireseverywhere I hope so too, fingers crossed.

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