19 yr old DS driving me nuts!

[Jungfraujoch]

Just finished his BTEC in Creative Media (MMP). Has been half-heartedly looking for any sort of job for a while (I do appreciate it’s tough out there but he doesn’t put enough effort in IMO).

Has just done a bit of unpaid work experience in a TV studio which he enjoyed and was thought well of but not bothered to update his CV yet.

I’ve suggested contacting some media/TV companies locally to see if he can get any experience unpaid or otherwise. He just says - yeah, yeah, I’ll do it. But he doesn’t!

Just frustrates the hell out of me - I have to nag and nag to get him to clean his room, he pretty much just games all day with his friends.

At his age can I give him some consequences if he doesn’t pull,his finger out?! Help!!

[Aquamarine1029]

If he's not working, where does he get money from? Who pays for his phone? The Wi-Fi? His food? You, right? Who is doing all his laundry and cooking his food?

It's time for him to grow up and deal with consequences.

[Elieza]

You need to treat him like a big kid if he’s going to act like one.

Reintroduce sanctions. WiFi password gets changed and his gaming time is then limited.

Put a maximum spend on his phone.

Stop doing washings and ironing for him. He can do them. Etc

[Jungfraujoch]

Thank you both. Those are all things inking of doing but somehow feels wrong because of his age! Silly I know.

[Aquamarine1029]

It is very silly, op. Coddling him like this is doing him absolutely NO favours. Has he ever been made to do chores, clean, laundry, etc?

[Jungfraujoch]

He will do some chores but with very bad grace most of the time.

[Elieza]

Yup, you shouldn’t HAVE to be telling him this stuff at his age so I get it feels uncomfortable. It will get him ready for a life in his own. Having dated a mummies boy I know it will be good for his future relationships too, as my ex expected me to do all the mother work his mum did so he could sit on his arse while I looked after us both! If his mum had only set him up better it would have been fine.

Just get him told that “it’s only fair that you pull your weight round here, we’re all adults. It’s team work. WiFi is only going on from 6pm to midnight from now on so you’d better crack in with the job hunt as it will be boring for you round here all day with no gaming. I’ll show you again how to work the washing machine and iron as you can do your own laundry from now on as you’ll be around all day with nothing to do. I’ll give you daily chores in addition.

If you don’t like it get a job. Housework is not just my responsibility. It’s teamwork. It has to be done. Crack on.

[Jungfraujoch]

Perfect Elieza. 😄😄